Good People Who Get Stuck In Terrible Relationships Usually Ignore These 6 Warning Signs
You can't listen to logic when your heart is still connected.
GaudiLab | Canva So, you are having some doubts about your relationship already. You’re looking for a definitive answer or signs you should break up, but what you really need to do is look for the signs you've ignored in the past so you can break the pattern of getting stuck in terrible relationships.
Breakups happen because something in your relationship is broken and can’t be put back together. Realizing it’s broken beyond repair is the hard part. It’s hard to listen to logic when your hearts are still connected so strongly.
How can you tell the difference between broken for good and repairable? Look at the patters that keep you, and others who get stuck in terrible relationships, keep ignoring.
Good people who get stuck in terrible relationships usually ignore these 6 warning signs:
1. They have the same conversation over and over again without a resolution
You can be the greatest communicator of all time. You share your feelings often, are vulnerable, and talk things out as soon as they come up, but if you can’t resolve the issue, it’s all for nothing.
If you’ve talked around the same issue for months without coming up with an answer, a compromise, or the next steps to take, and are not interested in outside help, it’s time to move on. The Gottman Institute explained how staying in a firmly negative relationship can be damaging and dangerous.
2. They look for validation outside of their relationship
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A healthy relationship means that both people are secure enough in themselves and in their relationship, not have to seek outside attention or validation when things get tough.
If you are looking for that attention, there’s one of three things happening: you are too insecure to be in the relationship, or you are looking for a way out, or you are not feeling safe in the relationship. No matter the reason, it all starts with YOU.
Be sure to listen to yourself and why you need this validation. Have you communicated your needs to your partner? If you have and they are not providing it for you, why are you in the relationship?
3. They compromise themselves
Compromise is needed in a relationship, but not if it means compromising yourself and your values. If you are constantly compromising on issues that are important to you without receiving the same sacrifice from your partner, you will only grow to resent them.
Never compromise who you are for a relationship. It’s not worth it.
4. They are more sad than happy
When things are good, they’re really good, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad. And lately, things have been bad or sad more often than they are good. We want to hold on to the good moments; they keep us going, but if that means going through the pain on the backend, it’s just not worth it.
Really start paying attention to how much of the time you spend happy vs. sad. Start keeping a daily journal of how you feel to help you sort through the reality of where you are emotionally in this relationship.
Are these feelings self-inflicted, do they look familiar to you, or are they a cause of behavior by your partner? If it’s self-inflicted, you can still save the relationship by seeking help. If they are caused by your partner’s behavior, are they willing to change that behavior?
5. They ignore their body's warnings
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Sometimes we are so consumed by doubt and fear that we become too confused to decide. The part of us that isn’t confused is our physiology, our body. Start listening to your body, because it will show you quickly where you are in your relationship.
Are you getting a normal period, rejecting your partner with UTIs, or having constant yeast infections? Do you break out from stress or feel fatigued? Your body is reacting to something you have yet to realize and trying to warn you. Pay attention.
6. They'd tell their friend not to do the same thing
If your best friend were in the same situation as you, what would you tell her? Would you tell her to leave or to stay? Would you think that she deserved more, or could do better? Would you tell her she was settling? If you would tell your friend to leave, why would you stay?
Ravid Yosef is a dating and relationship coach. She is an established advice column writer, Certified NLP Practitioner, and Award-winning marketer.
