If A Man Does These 11 Things As He Gets Older, He's Done Caring What Anyone Else Thinks Of Him
The older a man gets, the less he's interested in living a life that doesn't make him happy.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Similar to women, men usually have a moment in their lives when they're completely done with trying to impress other people. They simply start caring less what other people think, and the need to seek out other people's validation begins to fade, replaced with a confidence in themselves they maybe didn't have in their younger years. It's not that they're becoming rude or dismissive of others' opinions; rather, they've realized how short life is to constantly be living for someone else's approval.
For most guys, they spend a lot of their lives wanting to perform and stand out. Whether it's having the best career, the best house, and even the best car, they feel this need to hit all of the marks of what it means to be a "real man." But whether it's laughing at himself or keeping his social circle small, if a man does these things as he gets older, he's done caring what anyone else thinks of him. By the time men reach this point, everything in their lives feels so much lighter because he's saving his energy for the things that count.
If a man does these 11 things as he gets older, he's done caring what anyone else thinks of him
1. He stops explaining himself
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Once a man is done caring what other people think, so does his need to constantly explain himself. Rather than beating himself up over coming up with an explanation for why he can't hang out with his friends on a Saturday night, or why he's suddenly decided to change his wardrobe, he now doesn't feel the need to justify any of his choices. There might have been a time when he was constantly overthinking his actions in a way that made it seem as if he was needing that approval.
"Often, despite our best efforts, we still leave those conversations feeling dismissed, minimized, or even ashamed. And at some point, we begin to realize: It is not our job to convince others to honor our boundaries or to accept our choices," explained mental health counselor Stephanie Moulton Sarkis.
But now he knows that no matter how much time he spends explaining things, it won't make people happy. Also, there's no reason to try and convince people to be fine with the way you're living your own life.
It's your life for a reason, and at the end of the day, you're the only person who should be satisfied with the way you're living and the decisions you've made.
2. He stops trying to curate his social media
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In his younger years, he might have been someone that was obsessed with how his social media looked. From using the best filters, arranging his photos in a way that best described his personality, while also wanting to appear a bit aloof, he constantly thought about the likes, comments, and shares that each post was getting.
But when all of that need for validation goes away, if a man does these things as he gets older, he's done caring what anyone else thinks of him. In the same way that he's no longer worried about how other people feel about him, it also extends to his social media presence.
If he shares a post of his breakfast or a photo of nature, he's not worrying about how people are perceiving him in that moment or if it was good enough to impress other people. Instead, he's posting on social media for himself and himself only.
He's no longer measuring his worth against the amount of people that are swiping up on his story and telling him what they think.
3. He no longer tries to look busy
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A lot of men subscribe to the belief that if they're not being productive during every minute of the day, they're simply wasting their time. So, to combat that, they spend a lot of their time filling up their schedule with things to just appear as if they're being busy.
Whether it's taking on more projects at work or piling on a bunch of household tasks that are, frankly, a bit unnecessary, whatever the case may be, they think that being productive means it will define their self-worth.
But as men get older, they start to realize that being busy and overworking themselves will only put them in the grave at a much faster rate than those who take their time and find adequate time in their day to be both productive and just rest.
In fact, research from The Lancet has shown that overworking and having work stress are also associated with many cardiac risk factors. But for him, he's no longer feeling guilty about taking naps or spending his day on the couch with a good book or watching a movie. It starts to feel liberating to know that he's spitting his time equally between working and pouring back into himself as well.
4. He's honest about what he doesn't know
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Men who get older and stop caring how other people see them are usually men who also are no longer afraid of being able to admit whether or not they know something. Rather than trying to pretend that he's knowledgeable about a certain topic because he wants to impress everyone and is scared of looking "dumb," he learns to be comfortable admitting that he doesn't quite know about something the way that others may.
It helps him to know that by doing that people usually aren't judging him, but instead they have a level of respect that he's able to be so honest and vulnerable in that moment. Also, by being able to admit that he doesn't know something, it allows him to take up space with learning.
Usually, once one person admits they don't know a lot about a certain topic, it opens the door for other people to say they are in the same boat as well.
5. He takes walks to clear his head
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Rather than stewing in any negative feelings or ruminating thoughts, as men get older and stop caring what other people think, they start to realize that it's better to work towards having a clear mind. Rather than being embarrassed about having to take a walk or get out of the house to shake these negative and stressful emotions, they do so without hesitation. For him, sometimes silence is the best medication for feeling overwhelmed.
People who tend to take walks usually "experience less anxiety, have better sleep, have a better self-image and have improved mood and concentration." And walking through nature, feeling the breeze of the outside and the sun on his face, can be enough to help him process whatever is on his mind, or just not even think about anything at all.
He isn't giving anyone an explanation for why he might be wandering off, and instead, he welcomes the stroll alone and taking this time for himself just to be able to feel a bit lighter and freer.
6. He stops worrying about his age
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If a man no longer worries about his age as he gets older, he's done caring what anyone else thinks of him. There might have been a time when he was younger that the thought of reaching a certain age was quite scary.
He might have spent countless nights wide awake terrified of aging and even more worried about all of the stereotypes and judgment that would come with it. But, eventually, as he gets older, he realizes that age truly is just a number.
You're simply never "too old" to do certain things or live a certain lifestyle either. Just because you're getting older doesn't mean your life has to suddenly end or that you no longer get to have fun anymore.
There's also no rule that says you need to hit all of these milestones at certain ages either. The freedom of getting older comes from shedding all of the expectations and fears and instead living the life that makes you happy as you age. Whether he wants to travel to a new country, completely change his career, or change his entire look, he doesn't feel scared that his age will stop him from doing any of those things.
7. He laughs at himself
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As a man gets older, he starts realizing that life is just way too short to be so serious all of the time; instead, he learns to embrace the mistakes and embarrassing moments. He no longer finds it odd to actually stop and laugh at himself rather than trying to appear picture-perfect and flawless all of the time.
Being able to laugh at himself means he's not letting that one mistake completely define his self-worth and confidence. He's able to poke fun at himself in a way that lets the bad moments roll off his shoulders.
Everyone has times in life where they may misstep and completely miss the mark. Usually, it'll happen more than once. The best way to get over it is to be able to find the humor and joy in these moments just as much as you find it in the moments where you've succeeded.
8. He speaks his mind even when it's unpopular
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Men who get into the mindset of not wanting to seek approval from others usually come to a place in their lives when they're done trying to filter themselves for the sake of sparing other people's feelings. It's not that they're saying things with the intention of hurting anyone, but that he's done tiptoeing just to avoid conflict and potential awkwardness.
"Showing who you are and facing the consequences is the only way to get the life you want. We often have much more leeway to make these changes than we imagine. Our partners, if they love us, want us to be happy. If they value us, our bosses should want us to be able to thrive professionally and personally. Our friends and family, if they treasure us, will respect reasonable boundaries," pointed out psychotherapist Tonya Lester.
It doesn't mean he's looking for fights, but that nothing good comes from keeping his thoughts to himself, especially when it's about a topic that matters deeply to him. When he speaks his mind, it comes from a place of wanting to be honest rather than trying to rebel against the status quo.
It's more about wanting to stay true to himself, because as these men get older, they realize that it only does them a disservice to not be their most authentic self.
9. He doesn't waste time on drama
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If a man stops wasting time on drama, he's done caring what anyone else thinks of him. Because there comes a point where he realizes that drama and being at the center of it just isn't worth it. He's reached a time in his life where he's done being pulled into arguments that don't concern him or gossiping just to make himself feel better.
Rather than wanting to focus all of his energy on stoking the fires of chaos for those around him, he's noticing that it's better to pour that energy into something else. There are certain situations that truly just don't require your attention or time.
"Because of its nature, drama is easy to get wrapped up in if you don't make a solid commitment to change. Just like a tornado, it has a strong pull, and once you're in it, it will swirl you around and spit you out. So, develop a plan of action," psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen explained.
It's sometimes better to just step away and focus on yourself and what you have going on rather than trying to get involved and instigate. You'll be shocked to learn that removing that toxicity from your life means you're able to avoid conflict and unnecessary debates that don't go anywhere, but somehow cause you to walk away with two new grey hairs from the stress of it all.
10. He keeps his circle small
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Not everyone deserves to have a spot in your life, and as men get older, they start to realize that. Rather than giving people the benefit of the doubt and hoping they'll fit in his life just because he enjoys having multiple friends, he realizes that it's much better to have quality friends over a large quantity of them.
Just because you have this large network of friends doesn't mean you'll instantly feel happy and satisfied. In fact, sometimes it's the large group of friends that can leave people feeling drained and overwhelmed. According to a survey from Pew Research Center, 61% of U.S. adults say having close friends is extremely or very important for people to live a fulfilling life.
Once a man starts carefully choosing his friends and only lets certain people into his inner-circle that he feels connected with, he realizes that meaningful friendships matter more when it's with a certain amount of people rather than trying to force it with every single person he meets.
He's more content with kickbacks than going to large house parties that go on until the early morning. He'd rather invite five of his closest friends over for a game night and know that his social battery won't be drained by them because of how much he enjoys being around them.
11. He's living life on his own timeline
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Gone are the days where he's trying his hardest to meet these unnatural expectations and deadlines for his own life. He's no longer worried about the "right age" to get married and have children, being able to buy a house that proves he's at peak adulthood, or hitting certain milestones in his career that show just how successful he is.
Instead, he's more worried about whether or not he's happy and satisfied with his own life. He's moving at his own pace and doing what feels right for him.
Trying to compare your progress to the way other people are living is usually more exhausting than fulfilling. Everyone's journey is supposed to be different for a reason, which is what makes us all so unique and fascinating. Once he's done living for other people, that's when he truly starts to settle into himself and find contentment in living.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
