Never Trust Anyone Who Gives Off These 11 Micro-Signals In A Casual Conversation

It can be difficult to know who to trust. From family members betraying you to friends acting sneaky, not everyone has mastered the art of picking up on red flags. But whether it's a shift in tone or deflecting questions, never trust anyone who gives off these micro-signals in a casual conversation.

By themselves, some of these instances aren't enough to set off alarm bells. Shifty eyes or clearing their throat could be a sign that they're nervous rather than manipulative. Yet if they show most of these verbal and nonverbal indicators, it's safe to say that this is a person people shouldn't count on too much.

Never trust anyone who gives off these 11 micro-signals in a casual conversation

1. Fake smiling

two co-workers fake smiling during conversation fizkes | Shutterstock

There's a common saying that people need to fake it until they make it. From work events to family gatherings, sometimes faking a smile is necessary to save face. But doing it too often can be a huge sign that someone shouldn't be trusted.

There's something highly troublesome about smiling in someone's face while secretly resenting them. Even if they don't view it as manipulation, playing nice for the sake of getting something out of someone is a glaring red flag. As social-personality psychology professor Kevin Bennett explained, "We are uncomfortable with fake smiles because they send the message that we are being deceived or that something is less than real."

2. Over-explaining simple things

man over-explaining simple things to co-worker fizkes | Shutterstock

Everyone's been in a frustrating position before where someone unconsciously undermines them, whether it's getting an oil change or talking to a co-worker. The person will attempt to over-explain concepts that are easy to understand, but you should never trust anyone who gives off this micro-signal in a casual conversation.

It's disrespectful, especially if a person's area of expertise, and it can quickly become demeaning as someone explains something so obvious in a kindergarten teacher's tone. While some may brush it off and view it as innocent, don't. Not only are these individuals calling into question your intelligence, but they're doing so in a way that makes it much harder for you to stand up for yourself.

3. Deflecting questions

woman deflecting questions from colleague fizkes | Shutterstock

There's nothing more annoying than dealing with someone who doesn't know how to handle a simple question. Whether it's a guilty conscience or their inability to be upfront, it shows that they're untrustworthy.

Honesty truly is the best policy. Not only is it simpler than lying or deflecting, but it causes less frustration, too. According to licensed clinical social worker Amy Morin, "By striving for more direct and honest interactions, we can reduce misunderstandings and cultivate relationships built on trust and clarity."

4. Sudden tone shift

untrustworthy woman having sudden tone shift talking to friend Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock

One minute, someone may sound happy; the next, they sound tense. It might seem like a trick of the mind, but a sudden shift in tone is a red flag. The way someone talks or sounds can change the direction of the conversation.

Without realizing it, they can come off as hostile, even if their words sound innocent. So, if someone is having a casual conversation and they become passive-aggressive out of nowhere, be wary.

5. Not listening

woman on phone who lacks listening skills ignoring friend Bilanol | Shutterstock

Everyone wants to feel heard and understood. Despite how nonchalant some people are, connection is just another aspect of the human experience. According to a study published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, human beings are wired to connect.

But when someone isn't listening in a conversation, it should immediately set off alarm bells. Sure, sometimes people aren't in the right headspace to have a one-on-one conversation. Daily stressors and fatigue are typically the causes. Still, it's hurtful to be ignored.

While this absolutely could be a one time thing, people who do this constantly aren't just being disrespectful; they simply don't care about your feelings, no matter what they might say.

6. Excessive pausing

man excessively pausing as he talks to woman fizkes | Shutterstock

There's nothing wrong with pausing occasionally during a conversation. Not wanting to mess up and say the wrong thing, it's not uncommon to hear someone give a pause or two to get their thoughts together. But in excess, it's alarming.

There are people who do intentional pauses for different reasons. Whether it's allowing someone time to fix their mistake or using silence to have power over them, depending on the situation, it can either be an innocent gesture or a total power move.

This is why it's important to take this micro-signal with a grain of salt. Ask yourself why they keep pausing and if it's a pattern to determine if someone is being innocent or secretly manipulative.

7. Touching their face or neck constantly

shifty woman touching her face and neck constantly Aloha Hawaii | Shutterstock

When someone is nervous, they might touch their face or neck to feel more comfortable, often without even realizing it. Feeling a bit sheepish, it's not an automatic red flag just because someone is covering their mouth.

Sure, some people have made it a habit, but depending on the situation, someone could also be doing this to cover up the fact that they're lying. As research professor Terri Orbuch explained, "On many occasions, when people are lying, their mouth and the body are not in sync. The words sound convincing, but everything else about their body language sends a very different message." As a result, they might try to hide their body language to prevent people from seeing how they truly feel.

So, while someone shouldn't run for the hills automatically, they should look at the context of this behavior. While it could be innocent, for many manipulators or liars, covering their mouths is a sign they aren't being truthful.

8. Excessive self-referencing

woman excessively self-referencing making things about her Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock

In a conversation, it's normal for people to talk about themselves. Without realizing it, they may take someone's situation and directly use it to talk about their own life. And while there's nothing wrong with doing it once in a while, never trust anyone who gives off this micro-signal in a casual conversation.

Someone who only talks about themselves isn't necessarily someone you want to be friends with. Even if they don't mean it, these individuals probably aren't the best people to trust. From their unreliable support to their oversharing tendencies, someone who only takes and never gives is someone people should be wary of.

9. Forced politeness

woman smiling with forced politeness at co-worker fizkes | Shutterstock

While there's nothing wrong with being polite, whether it's co-workers or in-laws, never trust anyone who gives off these micro-signals in a casual conversation. Because while common decency is the standard, being overly nice is a red flag.

Even if someone doesn't mean much by it, never telling someone how it is and always being a people-pleaser isn't a good thing. Unfortunately, almost half of Americans identify as people pleasers, as a survey from YouGov found that 48% of Americans self-identify as one.

Despite how common it may be, the issue with people-pleasing is not knowing how the other person feels. While they might be a good person, if they're not being upfront, people probably shouldn't trust them.

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10. Smirking at the wrong time

woman smirking at the wrong time Ground Picture | Shutterstock

Most body language has a bit of nuance to it, but if there's one thing people shouldn't trust, it's someone who smirks at the wrong time. Let's say they're with a friend and are delivering bad news. Maybe they didn't get the promotion they wanted or their blind date didn't work out. Either way, someone who smirks clearly doesn't have their friend's best interest at heart.

Secure friends don't typically get jealous when those closest to them succeed. Secure people, in general, aren't intimidated when someone else wins in life. Yet for those who haven't worked through their insecurities, the sound of someone losing is music to their ears.

11. Using disclaimers

man using disclaimers as he talks to co-worker Ground Picture | Shutterstock

Depending on the topic, some disclaimers can be a good thing, especially for conversations that some may deem heavier, so giving someone the choice of opting out is a good thing. But sometimes, when people use terms like "no offense" before saying something offensive, it makes them untrustworthy. Not only is their behavior rude, but many manipulators use this phrase to basically say, "you can't hold me accountable."

And as licensed psychologist Lynn Margolies pointed out, "The instigator of the remark denies responsibility for jabbing anyone, then accuses the recipient of being 'too sensitive,' ridiculing them for feeling the sting. People who use this defensive style are not necessarily scheming to hurt you but tend to avoid conflict and anger, which is why it leaks out."

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.