If You See These 11 Things In Someone's Texts, They Have Zero Interest In What You Said
A person's texts are more telling than they seem.
carballo | Shutterstock Texting can be incredibly beneficial in several ways, from promoting closeness between partners to bridging a literal distance gap with conversation. But it can also spark a great deal of anxiety when it's handled in an uncertain or disengaged way, according to a study from PLOS One. That's why noticing subtle cues while texting and being intentional with your phrasing can make all the difference — you don't have the verbal tones, body language, and touch to reduce misunderstanding for you.
From noticing one-word responses to dealing with "Do Not Disturb" signals, if you see these things in someone's texts, they have zero interest in what you said. Of course, this disinterest isn't always because they don't care, love, or want to converse with you, as many people are busy and don't have time to spend texting during the day. But it's important to recognize these signs to set boundaries and protect your own effort and energy.
If you see these 11 things in someone's texts, they have zero interest in what you said
1. One-word replies
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While one-word replies like "OK" or "sure" are sometimes a sign that someone is busy or distracted, they could also be a sign that someone has zero interest in what you said. Especially if you send a super long text or are expressing complex emotions online, these kinds of responses are often disappointing and frustrating to receive in return.
A truly productive and healthy conversation requires intentional input from everyone, so if you're only getting bleak responses and the discussion is clearly winding down, it's almost always better to end it and create space than to develop resentful feelings and tension.
2. Never asking questions
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Questions open up lines of communication and express engagement in interactions, even if they're happening online, according to a 2021 study. They're also an incredibly important part of active listening strategies that ensure people feel valued and heard when they're talking, many of which can be translated to text conversations and online communication.
So, if you're having a "conversation" and you're the only person diving deeper, asking thoughtful questions, and ensuring the other person feels appreciated, chances are they have no interest in what you have to say.
3. Messages that feel sterile
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Even if they're expanding on one-word replies and dry texts, if you feel like a person's messages are overly sterile — lacking emotion, emojis, and personal tone — chances are they have no interest in what you said.
The way that we text, how we phrase things online, and the kind of personality we interweave into our online conversations say a lot about how much we care about a conversation, so don't overlook this "red flag" if you're trying to build closeness.
Especially if you're talking to an introvert, who typically feels most confident and expressive when they're communicating through texts online, and they're being "dry" or "sterile," that's a clear sign that they're disengaged or disinterested.
4. Taking forever to reply
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According to a PNAS study, faster response times are often associated with better social connections, whether that's during in-person conversations or online while texting. So, if a person is taking forever to reply to a text, they could be busy or disinterested in having a conversation, but regardless of the reason, it's your connection that's weakened.
Of course, taking forever or not responding to text messages can also be a sign of mental health concerns, general anxiety, or a busy schedule. So, it's important to understand the context and to express concerns before jumping to conclusions about what an online conversation means.
5. Only responding with reactions or emojis
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If someone is constantly liking or loving messages with reactions, rather than an actual text response, it could be a sign that they have zero interest in what you said. Of course, that's not always the case — people work, have responsibilities, and often look at their phones when they don't have time to respond — but it could be a red flag if it's a consistent practice, even after you've acknowledged it.
Of course, these behaviors could also be explained by generational and age differences in texting patterns, according to a study from Nova Southeastern University. While Gen Z and other younger generations read into reaction responses or one-word responses, for others, they're simply a more effective means of communicating.
6. Not referencing your texts
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If someone asks a question or sends you a text without acknowledging any of your previous responses, chances are they have no interest in what you said in the first place. This could also be a blatant method of avoiding things that they don't want to discuss or resolve, whether it's a relationship concern, social events, or a check-in from a friend.
While "feeling heard" in conversations is often associated with in-person interactions and practices, it still also plays a role in crafting closeness and intimacy over the phone. So, if someone isn't creating space for you to feel heard or valued online, chances are they're disengaged or indifferent to your well-being.
7. Only reaching out when they need something
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If your text chain with someone is just a bunch of requests and favors, chances are you're harboring a transactional relationship right from your phone. The best relationships and friendships are defined by the little things, like checking in after a hard day or following up on a person's life over the phone.
So, if you see these things missing from someone's texts consistently, they likely have zero interest in what you said or how your life is going. Especially if they're not making time to see you in person, their indifference and transactional nature on the phone only disconnects them from you further — leading to resentment, tension, and endless frustration.
8. Never following up
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Never following up or referencing your texts is something that people who don't care about you may consistently do online. Of course, the people who care about respecting you, making you feel heard, and expressing their commitment to you will always make an effort — whether it's with texting or not — if you express that need.
Like many of the other signs of disengagement through texting, a person who never follows up or texts you to plan things may simply be struggling with concentration or chronic stress, but that doesn't entirely excuse their behavior. There are ways, like a reminder on their phone, to remember your commitments and promises, so being disengaged and avoidant typically has no excuse.
9. Ghosting you
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If you see these things like ghosting tendencies in someone's texts with you, they have zero interest in what you said. While it may seem obvious, it's more tolerated than many think.
Ghosting has so much more to do with the insecurity and immaturity of the person doing it, according to researcher Mariana Bockarova, than the one they're inflicting it on. It can feel like rejection and spark feelings of shame to be ghosted, even by a close friend, which is why it should always be a blatant sign that someone isn't interested in what you said or your well-being if they do it.
Don't make excuses for their behavior or accept their justifications over and over again — you deserve someone willing to step into discomfort to make you feel important and heard.
10. Giving vague responses
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Whether it's making plans, organizing a social event, or simply checking in over the phone, a person who consistently gives vague responses in the face of an engaged partner, peer, or friend probably doesn't care enough to put in the effort.
Of course, emojis, punctuation, and word choice all play a role in crafting how a text message is perceived, including how vague it sounds or how warm it comes across to a reader, according to a study from Liberty University. So, even if there's some disconnect between a person's intentions and how they're texting, there's still meaning in how someone shows up to conversations online.
11. Not matching your energy
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If you're texting someone about an exciting promotion or sharing important news, and they're not matching your energy — giving one-word responses or taking forever to respond — they could have zero interest in what you said. More specifically, their avoidance and disengagement could be a sign that they're harboring jealousy or resentment, feeling more uncomfortable and insecure in the face of another person's success.
In some ways, being jealous of friends and loved ones is natural when we're struggling with insecurity and progress ourselves; however, making them feel small, unloved, and unimportant — even through text messages — just isn't the way to cope.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
