If A Husband Has Stopped Loving His Wife, He’ll Do These 11 Things Without Saying A Word
It's not just romantic love that fades away, but also the actions that accompany it.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock Dealing with a loss of love and romantic intimacy in a marriage or any other long-term relationship can be disorienting and derail everyday life. It’s not only hard for the partner on the receiving end, feeling unwanted, unheard, and unloved, but for the person experiencing the loss themselves, trying to figure out how to cope, express themselves, and move forward. Especially for men, who deal with a number of personal and societal pressures and stigmas around vulnerability, it can make things even more complex.
Of course, in response to these big marital changes and shifts in a couple’s relationship, men and women often deal with similar levels of psychological distress and emotional response, despite what stereotypes in society suggest, so a loss of communication or connection can often be in response to a husband’s internal conflict. So, if a husband has stopped loving his wife, he’ll do these things without saying a word, not always to directly hurt his partner, but to cope with his own concerns and turmoil.
If a husband has stopped loving his wife, he’ll do these things without saying a word
1. He stops showing affection
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While the ways that men show their love in relationships are more nuanced than stereotypes suggest, they do tend to desire physical intimacy and affection at higher levels than their female counterparts in their marriages. So, if a husband has stopped loving his wife, the loss of physical closeness without saying a word could be a sign of his disconnection.
Even if it’s subtle over time, like not kissing his partner before leaving or cuddling in bed at night, it can be a red flag when men pull away from the affection and closeness that they typically seek out and prioritize in their relationships.
2. He avoids conflict
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While conflict avoidance isn’t necessarily dysfunctional or a negative experience in a relationship, when it’s actively used to avoid vulnerability, necessary conversations, or to cope with personal discomfort, it can be a red flag, especially for long-term couples. Without leaning into discomfort, expressing concerns, and resolving conflict on a consistent basis, long-term couples can’t evolve and grow together.
Conflict resolution is not only beneficial to growth for couples, it’s also an indicator of long-term emotional and physical well-being. So when a husband has stopped loving his wife and avoiding conflict without explanation, he’s putting everyone's general health at risk.
3. He stops making eye contact
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Eye contact isn’t just essential to active listening and deep communication. It’s also a signal of affection and romantic attraction in relationships and dating. If a husband has stopped loving his wife, romantic attraction and love have faded, not making eye contact without saying a word could be one of the red flags for a partner.
Not only is he avoiding the deep conversations that build closeness and intimacy, he’s avoiding the basic signals of attraction and connection, like eye contact, that transform the mundane and simple moments of everyday life.
4. He starts going out more
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Especially for older husbands in long-term marriages, quality time is a huge indicator of relationship wellbeing, satisfaction, and general happiness. From going out more to spending more time at work and investing greatly in other relationships, if a husband has stopped loving his wife, he’ll do these things without saying a word.
Of course, the simple loss of quality time and acknowledgement that this behavior encourages can spark resentment, disconnection, and frustration for both partners, leaving them feeling more alone in their shared life, on top of the loss of affection and intimacy they’re already experiencing.
5. He stays at work longer
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If a husband has stopped loving his wife, he’ll often distract himself with other things without saying a word to avoid spending quality time together. Whether that’s going out with friends or staying for long hours at work, he’ll stop updating her on where he is, even if he’s hours late or missing commitments.
According to a study from the Contemporary Family Therapy journal, couples who spend more quality time together generally experience greater relationship satisfaction and happiness than those who don’t. Even in rough patches or while fighting, spending time together, communicating, and being open is the key to healthily moving forward together, rather than dealing with resentment or disconnection.
6. He doesn’t check-in anymore
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There are a number of reasons why communication may falter or a husband may feel disconnected from a partner in everyday life, from mental health struggles to chronic stress from work, and even parenting dilemmas. However, romantic love and intimacy are often rooted in small everyday actions like checking in with a partner, so disruptions to this routine can be more significant than they seem.
Even if it seems subtle and unsuspecting, having regular check-ins with loved ones is the key to boosting mood, connectedness, and intimacy, according to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. When a husband stops checking in — even if it’s something like “How was your day?” — without saying a word, it could be a sign he’s stopped loving his wife and doesn’t care to know anymore.
7. He starts petty arguments
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Many people who feel disconnected from or resentful of their partners avoid conflict, struggling to come to terms with big concerns in their relationships and vulnerable emotional expression. However, those suppressed emotions don’t simply go away, which is why a husband who’s stopped loving his wife may start petty arguments to cope without saying a word about it.
From name-calling to little jabs and even talking negatively behind their back, they compromise the mutual trust needed to sustain a healthy relationship, pushing their partners even farther away with superficial and negative communication and interactions.
8. He keeps secrets
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According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, importance is the foundation of trust for any relationship, which is why lying, betrayal, and dishonesty are all big signs that someone may be falling out of love.
Of course, there’s some overlap between unhealthy perceptions of masculinity and behaviors like lying, according to a 2021 study, which is why this is often associated with men who lose feelings and romantic love with their partners. There’s an element of control to withholding the truth that can feel empowering, even at the expense of social connection, relationship health, and personal self-worth.
9. He stops including her
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Whether it’s plans with his loved ones and friends or big decisions like planning for the future or making big financial decisions, a husband who has fallen out of love with his wife may stop including her in his everyday life. Not only does this often lead to resentment, but the behaviors and decisions that lack any communication or clarity also make people feel unwanted and uncomfortable.
Of course, men often desire the feeling of being wanted more than their female counterparts, so when they’re missing it, it’s not uncommon for them to weaponize affection and intimacy to cope.
10. He stops helping with chores and responsibilities
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Whether it’s childcare, household labor, or chores around the house, if a husband has stopped loving his wife, he’ll generally stop helping with these things without saying a word. The mutual respect, communication, and foundation of support that fueled their romantic love and intimacy is no longer intact, which leads to a heavier burden for their partners.
Considering sharing chores is a predictor of a healthy marriage, and women tend to already bear the burden of most of these responsibilities in their relationships, a husband who stops supporting and helping without saying a word sparks even more resentment and disconnection in this area of their lives, if there's not already some brewing.
11. He stops saying ‘I love you’
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According to Harvard psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren, simple affectionate behaviors and phrases like “I love you” are powerful, yet small, ways to express love, bond with a partner, and make them feel wanted. It’s one of the easiest ways for couples to connect, even amid the chaos of everyday life.
However, if a husband stops saying “I love you” and seeking out the physical closeness and affection that follows, it could be a sign that he’s stopped loving his wife. Even if he’s aware of how the disappearance of a phrase like this makes his partner feel unloved and unwanted, a husband who’s lost feelings for his wife is likely already struggling with a million thoughts, concerns, and internal conflicts themselves.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
