If Someone’s Life Is Falling Apart, These 11 Clues Are Almost Always There
They might smile and say they're fine, but these subtle clues tell a different story.
Anton Dios | Shutterstock Life isn't always smooth sailing as people think. From breakups to losing a job, there are many reasons why people's lives can become chaotic. That said, if someone's life is falling apart, these 11 clues are almost always there.
Despite what others might think, those with chaotic lives truly want to improve. Driven to make their dreams come true or to please others, these individuals will push themselves to the brink of burnout. Knowing this, if someone shows all of these signs, it might be wise to seek professional help. While we like to believe we can handle everything on our own, these signs often signal a point of no return.
If someone's life is falling apart, these 11 clues are almost always there:
1. They pull away from friends and family
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If someone's life is falling apart, a clue is that they are almost always withdrawing from their social connections. Social connections act as a stabilizing force that helps maintain mental well-being. From friendships to romantic relationships, intentionally surrounding oneself with positive influences can significantly influence a person's overall health.
According to a study published in 2024, social connections impact both physical and mental health. This is why if someone's withdrawing from their closest friends out of the blue, you might want to check up on them.
Sure, it could be a case of being busy, but it's better not to take risks. While isolation is good for reflection, too much isolation can lead to devastating consequences.
2. They stop taking care of themselves
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Skipping showers, living in the same hoodie for days, or ignoring basic grooming is often a sign of serious burnout or depression. Even mild depression can wreck someone’s self-care routine.
There's no worse feeling than returning home after a long, exhausting day of work only to spend an hour washing and straightening your hair. While many of us might prefer to just use dry shampoo and call it a day, maintaining proper hygiene is undeniably important.
If someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if they neglect their hygiene or appearance. According to a study in 2019, evidence shows that even low depression symptoms are linked to poor self-care. So, check on a loved one if they aren't taking care of themselves. Believe it or not, a little kindness and help go a long way.
3. Their sleep patterns change
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Nowadays, getting a good eight hours of sleep seems impossible for the average everyday person. From rising costs of living to needing to work overtime, if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if their sleep patterns change.
While it's perfectly okay to have an off week now and then, experiencing an off month is a different story altogether. Sometimes, it's not entirely their fault, but no matter what's going on at work, it's so important for people to find moments to take good care of themselves. Taking time for self-care helps everyone stay balanced and resilient.
According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, adults who get seven to eight hours of sleep tend to have a lower risk of obesity and high blood pressure. Of course, this isn't very easy, as issues like anxiety or insomnia can make it hard for people to regulate their sleep patterns. That said, it's crucial to seek professional help, even if it feels uncomfortable.
4. They have sudden mood swings
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Not everyone is going to be in a good mood. From demanding bosses to demanding in-laws, it's no wonder people snap when minor problems arise. After holding back their emotions for so long, it's only a matter of time before their true feelings come out and they show how they really feel.
So, if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if they have sudden mood swings. Snapping over small things, going from fine to furious, or breaking down without warning can happen when deeper issues aren’t being addressed. Left unchecked, these swings push people away.
Mood swings don't just come out of nowhere. According to psychotherapist Amy Lewis Bear, MS, LPC, "Moodiness stems from an unwillingness to confront and work through deeper issues. Brooding and blaming others is a way to avoid digging deeper into the inner source of anger and resentment."
Even so, it's important for people to control their emotions and find ways to regulate them. As difficult as it may be, mood swings can quickly damage relationships because their inability to manage emotions causes those around them to distance themselves.
5. Their work starts slipping
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It should come as no surprise, but if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is that their work performance suffers. Missed deadlines, sloppy mistakes, or constant sick days are often a sign that someone’s barely holding it together. Burnout and depression can tank performance, no matter how much they care about their job.
It's hard to have one's life together when every aspect of their life is falling apart. And while people would love just to get it together, it isn't easy.
Whether someone is experiencing burnout or depression, these negative emotions accumulate and negatively impact their work life. Fortunately, it doesn't have to stay that way forever. According to psychiatrist Brook Choulet, M.D., besides creating a schedule, setting clear goals and focusing on which ones are most important is a start.
But if someone's tried all of this with little results, then seek professional help. Sometimes, someone's life can be such a mess that they can't even save themselves, even if they wanted to.
6. Their finances are a mess
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If someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is that their finances are in shambles. When someone is truly at the edge and is feeling particularly miserable, they might do reckless things to make themselves feel better. As a result, they're more likely to spend recklessly than the average person.
From dropping a dime on a PS5 to indulging in a skincare shopping spree, there's truly nothing they wouldn't do to keep that exciting rush alive. But, unfortunately, this thrill doesn't last forever. While it might feel amazing initially, the worry of reckless spending is sure to catch up with them eventually.
As a study published in 2022 found, there's a link between financial worries and psychological stress. So, while treating oneself is great, be careful. Overspending might just be a sign that someone's life is in shambles.
7. They stop handling responsibilities
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Life isn't always as easy as people chalk it out to be. The whole, 'depression isn't that serious,' claim that some people love to make isn't just harmful; it's damaging as well.
According to a study published in Annals of Family Medicine, depression is linked with lowered working function, which includes absences and job retention. Knowing this, if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if they neglect their responsibilities.
Many might overlook the importance of mental health days, but there's no doubt they're really essential. Everyone deserves a break, especially when life feels overwhelming. Unfortunately, a lot of jobs don't prioritize these needs, which is why employees begin performing poorly. When someone is overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated, it's no surprise that they slowly begin putting in less work than when they started.
8. They lose interest in things they used to love
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With so much going on in their lives, is it a surprise that people might feel depressed? As much as they'd like to tough it out and pretend they're okay, if someone's life is falling apart, they lose interest in things they once enjoyed.
Deep down inside, they want to be the same person who loved painting or video gaming. But with so much chaos and little support, people slowly begin to crumble, causing them to become the worst version of themselves. As a result, they no longer find enjoyment in the things they once enjoyed.
This makes sense, as according to a study published in Clinical Psychology Review, depression is associated with reduced motivation to engage in previously enjoyed activities. So, if someone loses interest, check up on them. It might be deeper than they're making it out to be.
9. They make big, impulsive moves
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Another clue that someone's life is falling apart is if they make drastic or impulsive life decisions. Sure, drastic financial moves are one of them, but if someone randomly chopped off their hair or moved to a new city out of the blue, they might be going through a midlife crisis.
And while this might sound out of pocket for most, it isn't necessarily their fault. When most people need a redo in life and don't want to keep on continuing the same vicious cycle that they're currently finding themselves in, they're more likely to do something wild, hoping that it'll change their life for the better.
10. They feel nothing at all
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Sometimes, life becomes so chaotic that the only thing they can do is fall into a form of numbness. Blame it on survival instincts or having poor coping skills, but if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if they're emotionally numb.
Feeling emotionally numb is no joke. As common an experience as it may be, it doesn't mean it's any less severe. From going through a tough breakup to a family member passing away, that emotional numbness can cause people to do whatever it takes to feel anything, even if that 'anything' is something dangerous.
11. They're always tired
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Finally, if someone's life is falling apart, a clue that's almost always there is if they start saying things like, "I'm tired" all the time. Sure, work is exhausting, and coming home to work another eight hours is even more exhausting. However, the difference between normal exhaustion and being completely worn out is that someone can rest for eight hours and still not feel tired.
However, for those whose lives are falling apart, no amount of rest can save them from this feeling. They can sleep for twelve hours and still fall asleep an hour later because they're just 'so tired.' And while this type of exhaustion occurs from time to time, don't let it become normal. Otherwise, it could severely harm your mental health.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
