11 Things You'll Only Notice If You Have Basic Decency And A Working Brain
Even with narcissism on the rise, some people still have compassion and intellect.

While our society may be growing more narcissistic and selfish, there's still power in being a decent human and using skills like empathy and critical-thinking skills to connect with others. According to psychiatrist Grant Hilary Brenner, there are a number of behaviors that characterize being a decent human being, but it all starts with mutual respect.
Many of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain aren't just helpful for personal growth, professional success, and relationships — they give people the foundation to connect and understand those around them. So, even though our societal norms and expectations are shifting, people with these basic traits can still reap the benefits of social connectedness from basic conversations and interactions, starting with mutual respect, trust, empathy, and compassion.
Here are 11 things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain
1. How people treat service workers
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Whether it's a side effect of poor parenting, lacking emotional regulation skills, or sheer narcissism, many people don't offer service workers the basic level of empathy and respect they deserve. They're entitled enough to think that just because someone has a job centered around "serving" others, they're devoid of any kind of interaction, respect, or decency.
That's why treatment of service workers and their efforts are some of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain. These people don't use them as "scapegoats" for their own personal struggles, stress, or anxiety in daily life, like psychology professor Melanie Morrison suggests is quite common in others, but instead express gratitude and connect with them as humans.
2. Making a mess in public
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Making a mess in public is one of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain, which is unfortunate, considering so many of us are in shared spaces with fellow humans every single day. Whether it's the grocery store, a library, or even a shared bathroom, being able to clean up after yourself isn't just a reflection of personal values, it's an embodiment of the respect and decency you have for others.
Expecting someone to clean up after you — whether it's a service worker, a cleaning person, or the next person to enter the shared space — is not only selfish, it sabotages others from reaping the benefits of clean public spaces.
3. Respecting boundaries
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Boundaries — not just setting and enforcing personal ones, but acknowledging and respecting others — are some of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain. According to resiliency and wellness scholar Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, people who have a basic level of emotional intelligence tend to be socially aware. They can read the room, connect with others, and effectively communicate and respond to the people around them at any given time.
In many cases, whether it's in a professional setting or in their personal relationships, this equips them with the ability to read cues and understand boundaries without having to be reminded a hundred times. They always have mutual respect in the back of their mind, so other people's comfort isn't just a side effect of their behavior, but a priority they seek to fulfill in healthy ways.
4. Putting back a shopping cart
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According to a study from Scientific American, many people who don't return their shopping carts at the store also indulge in other poor behaviors like littering or talking down to service workers — not necessarily because they're a "bad person," but because they're susceptible to a groupthink mentality.
If other people are doing it, they're going to do it too, whereas a person with basic decency will think twice about doing the right thing in accordance with their personal character and values.
Putting back your shopping cart, picking up after yourself, and being a general person of integrity might seem simple, but amid the chaos of everyday life, many people get so caught up in their own stress and anxiety that they don't mind making someone else's life harder for a glimpse or reprise and comfort.
For the most part, they lack emotional regulation skills that allow them to think about the big picture and consider how their actions will affect someone else later on.
5. Everyone's time is important
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Whether you're rushing around a public space, canceling plans at the last minute, or showing up late, these behaviors can often be a sign of entitlement that people with basic human decency don't have. They don't respect other people's time; instead, they put their own needs, priorities, and comfort above all else.
Being reliable, consistent, and respectful doesn't just build trust and spark productivity in environments like the workplace, it can genuinely bolster personal self-esteem and relationships with others as well.
6. 'Brutal honesty' is just cruelty in disguise
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Considering emotionally intelligent people, with basic human decency and a working brain, are generally more empathetic than others, it's not surprising that phrases like "I'm just blunt" or "I'm brutally honest" are some of the things they can't help but notice in toxic situations and conversations.
Let's be honest — if someone is hurting feelings, calling people names, and being unnecessarily judgmental under the guise of "brutal honesty," they're just being cruel. People with basic human decency not only avoid using passive-aggressive language and cruel behaviors, they speak directly to someone when they need to express concerns in a vulnerable way.
They're never interested in asserting some kind of misguided dominance or superiority over someone else by making them feel insecure or unworthy of respect.
7. Not everything is about you
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Recognizing that not everything is about you is actually a practice of emotional resilience — a fragment of emotional intelligence, like a study from the Indian Journal of Psychiatry suggests, that promotes better mental health and social support. Whether it's self-soothing in the face of a loud person in public or celebrating a friend who got the promotion you've been yearning for, there's power in putting your ego aside.
Even if it's not incredibly selfish or self-centered to make yourself the center of your own universe — promoting things like self-care and personal growth — it can feel misguided to seek attention and bring other people down when you've hurt your own feelings or dealt with insecurities.
8. Healthy arguments aren't about winning
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Trying to "win" an argument only promotes poor emotional regulation, disconnection, and resentment. The best way to resolve conflict and approach an argument is by actively listening, compromising, and supporting one another — not yelling, proving your point, or trying to be "right."
Like a study from the University of Georgia suggests, healthy conflict-resolution skills in a relationship not only promote stronger bonds and self-esteem, they're also tied to long-term health and wellness. So, it's not surprising that arguments and the way people behave within them are some of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain.
9. Basic manners
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According to a study from Social Psychology Quarterly, not saying "please" and "thank you" is becoming more common across age demographics in our culture today, despite being fundamental to social relationships and awareness.
Not only do they convey a sense of important mutual respect and gratitude, they give people the tools to form better social interactions and relationships — whether it's at home, at work, or in public.
Whether it's entitlement or narcissism, lacking basic manners is one of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain. Even if you're dealing with your own struggles and anxiety, you always make an effort to help other people feel heard and understood, even if it's with a phrase as simple as "thank you."
10. Jokes aren't always funny
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Even though humor and well-timed jokes can be helpful for alleviating tension in a conflict or even de-escalating an emotional conversation, according to a study from Behavioral Sciences, just because someone frames their language as "a joke" doesn't mean it's always funny.
This is one of the things you'll only notice if you have basic decency and a working brain — you can tell when a joke makes someone uncomfortable or if it was only said to hurt, make fun of, or discourage another person from speaking up.
11. Integrity
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Even if it's impossible to actually notice in other people, having integrity — following morals and doing "the right thing" when nobody else is around — is one of the things only people with basic decency and a working mind prioritize in their own personal lives.
Whether it's cleaning up their trash, putting their shopping cart back, following a self-care routine, or moving their body, they're going to do the right thing — or the thing that best supports their needs and interests — even if nobody else is around to celebrate them for doing so.
Of course, basic human decency isn't about getting accepted, validated, or praised for looking out for others or being compassionate — it's about building strong connections, offering compassion, and reaping the personal benefits of being an empathetic person.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.