11 Habits Brilliant People Have That Quietly Push Mediocre People Away
When you stop tolerating nonsense, people who rely on it tend to disappear.
Look-Studio | Shutterstock According to a study from the Psychological Bulletin, when a person repeats a behavior regularly in their life — whether it’s positive or negative — it can quickly become habitual, regardless of their intentions. So, if they’re crafting goals and setting intentions around meeting new people, but consistently saying “no” to plans or investing in stagnant, toxic relationships, they’re building unhelpful habits.
Of course, it’s also possible to leverage your habitual nature to craft new ones, by cultivating the right mindset alongside your strong intentions — and you never know, one habit could change the way you navigate and appreciate life. Many of the habits brilliant people have that quietly push mediocre people away do precisely that: they manifest a new kind of intentionality and positive energy in their lives, removing unhelpful vibes and negativity.
Here are 11 habits brilliant people have that quietly push mediocre people away:
1. They never complain
Josep Suria | Shutterstock.com
According to a study from Stanford, falling into a routine of constant complaining can actually be more damaging than you might think — damaging areas of the brain associated with mood, memory, and cognitive abilities. In addition to brain health, complaining essentially rewires your brain toward negativity, affecting the well-being of your mental health, emotional well-being, and social relationships.
While gossip and complaining can occasionally be bonding — helping people find support and shared experiences with those around them — engaging in them too often can attract the wrong kinds of energy, people, and vibes.
2. They stick to their routines
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
While jealousy and envy are technically different, according to psychotherapist Allison Abrams, many people feel both in the face of their confident, booming, and self-disciplined relationships. They’re not only jealous of their success within the relationship, but they’re also envious of all the habits, routines, and achievements they’ve been able to prioritize.
When someone else struggles with setting habits, making changes in their own lives, or even recognizing what they want, it can feel easier for them to target and break down others than to confront the fact that it’s often entirely within their power. However, when a brilliant person crafts strong personal habits, it inevitably pushes away people who don’t add value or joy to their lives.
Even if it means saying “no” to social plans, having a busier schedule, or setting better boundaries in their relationships to ensure they feel empowered and supported, sticking to a routine that works for them is one of the habits brilliant people have that quietly pushes mediocre people away.
3. They're not afraid to say 'no'
DC Studio | Shutterstock.com
Like physician Susan Biali Haas suggests, insecure and emotionally immature people tend to feign a sense of misguided control over their lives and relationships with toxic behaviors. For example, they people-please to feel more comfortable — yearning for joy, intimacy, and security — while subtly undermining the trust and vulnerability that truly craft healthy relationships.
However, truly brilliant people learn to step out of their comfort zone and embrace new habits, such as speaking their mind, supporting others without ego, and setting healthy boundaries in their lives by simply saying “no.” Their ability to say “no” and prioritize their own needs, regardless of whether or not setting actual boundaries is comfortable or not, actively pushes mediocre people away.
They mean what they say, communicate their needs, and put themselves first — the kinds of habits mediocre people don’t just lack the capacity to engage in, but also understand and feel “in control” around.
4. They crave deep conversations
Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock.com
According to research published by the American Psychological Association, the average person craves deeper connections and more meaningful conversations — both in their relationships and beyond — but not everyone can engage in and entertain them.
To have a deep conversation, rooted in principles of trust, honesty, acceptance, and understanding, a person has to have a level of emotional intelligence, which is one thing mediocre people lack. Avoiding superficial small talk and making more space for deep conversations is one of the habits that brilliant people have, which quietly pushes mediocre people away for that reason.
They’re not only uncomfortable letting their emotional guard down and being vulnerable, but they also struggle with more basic habits, such as actively listening and supporting others' emotions.
5. They give honest feedback
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock.com
Despite the discomfort that typically arises from giving and receiving feedback, both in workplace settings and in personal relationships, it remains a critical habit that most people yearn for more of. However, mediocre people refuse to accept feedback, unless it’s glowing — whether that’s because of an inflated ego, insecurities, or narcissism,
However, it’s one of the habits brilliant people have that quietly pushes mediocre people away. They’re not only accepting of feedback toward themselves, they’re also comfortable with giving it out — whether that’s in the form of an honest conversation, setting a boundary, or ending a relationship.
6. They don't tolerate excuses
Mavo | Shutterstock.com
According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, many people who experience anxious attachments with their partners and in their relationships weaponize shame, guilt, and emotional burdens in the face of their fears, rather than openly communicating them or taking accountability.
However, the opposite is true for truly brilliant people with emotional intelligence — they lean into the discomfort of accountability, vulnerability, and honesty, even if that means owning up to a mistake and setting a plan to be better in the future.
By refusing to accept excuses and holding themselves to a higher standard of self-awareness, they also push away these mediocre people — who refuse to work on themselves and take accountability — simultaneously.
7. They spend time alone on purpose
Eldar Nurkovic | Shutterstock.com
Sometimes, all you need to craft a healthier life — rid of toxic relationships and negative energy — is to put yourself first. While there are certainly healthy ways to do that by leveraging your alone time, the simple act of setting boundaries with the intention of solitude can help clear out mediocre people from your life.
Most mediocre people stop investing time into social connections and interactions when they’re not getting validation, attention, or constant access. So, when a brilliant person sets a boundary and prioritizes their personal time and space, they’re much harder to manipulate and take advantage of.
8. They do things for themselves, not for approval
insta_photos | Shutterstock.com
Not caring about being liked by other people is one of the mindsets that brilliant people have that quietly pushes mediocre people away. They do things for them — with growth, comfort, and internal peace in mind — rather than appealing to people yearning for external validation and attention.
For mediocre people, who often craft their lives, routines, and relationships around seeking out this same praise and reassurance, having someone brilliant and self-assured can feel disorienting. They’re no longer the center of the universe, and they’re forced to deal with resentment, envy, and jealousy toward someone who’s simply living their best life.
9. They end relationships that drain them
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
Brilliant people don’t “give up” on hard relationships during conflict and rough stages, but they are quick to end them when there’s no hope for growth. If they’ve been consistently disrespected, invalidated, or manipulated, they’re not afraid to end a relationship and invest that energy and time back into themselves.
However, mediocre people who craft their relationships around receiving attention and codependency they’re much less likely to set boundaries and cut things off. They’re manipulative at heart, taking advantage of other people’s insecurities to get what they want. So, being in a relationship where they have to show up and invest intention into a person quickly drives them away — if they’re not already ousted by the emotionally intelligent partner themselves.
10. They embrace healthy conflict
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
Rather than avoiding vulnerability or shying away from conflict, truly brilliant people embrace it with open arms. They’re not only comfortable expressing their concerns before they spiral into resentment, but they craft their relationships around a foundation of honesty and respect.
However, mediocre people tend to view conflict and arguments as an inherently bad thing, avoiding them at all costs. In their minds, a truly healthy relationship — whether it’s intimate or otherwise — is one with no arguments or fights, when that’s not necessarily the case.
That’s why this is one of the habits brilliant people have that quietly push away mediocre people, because they struggle to thrive in a relationship where arguments are openly accepted. Conflict is healthily worked through in the moment.
11. They talk about the future
Cast Of Thousands | Shutterstock.com
Brilliant people with self-awareness and emotional intelligence talk openly about the future — whether it’s personal goals, aspirations, fears, or relationships. They don’t shy away from hard conversations that the average person may intentionally avoid, driven by anxiety and worry about what’s to come.
That’s part of the reason why it’s one of the habits brilliant people have that quietly push mediocre people away — they can only think about the “right now,” not necessarily in a healthy “live in the present moment” kind of way, but in an emotionally immature one.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
