11 Ways Brilliant People Avoid Being Disrespected By Anyone
Demanding respect begins with being clear about what you refuse to tolerate.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Most people understand the concept of respect being earned, not given, and will do anything to protect themselves and the things they've worked hard to create. Respect is built up over years, with people noticing how you act and treat others. But when the tables turn and there's incredibly disrespect aimed at someone, there are certain reactions to take and some to avoid altogether.
The many ways brilliant people avoid being disrespected by anyone — whether it's a friend, family member, or even a co-worker — involve staying calm, grounded, and assertive. Because respect is something that can't be bought or sold so easily, it can be difficult to change someone's perception. But the firmer a person stands on their boundaries, the better off they will be.
Here are 11 ways brilliant people avoid being disrespected by anyone
1. They respond with a question
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Responding to disrespect with a question puts the shame and spotlight back onto them and off of you. It makes them think twice about being so brazen the next time they speak to you with such disregard. This strategy of flipping it back onto the disrespectful person catches them off guard and forces them to sit in the discomfort that you felt when listening to what they said.
As psychotherapist Moshe Ratson revealed, "When you act assertively, you don't withhold your opinions or minimize your feelings; instead, you make a conscious decision to share them in a way that is conducive to peace and harmony. You strive to express your needs clearly without making the other person 'lose' so you can 'win.'"
You demonstrate how to express feelings constructively and seek clarification without escalating the situation. Asking a question will help you both find the clarity that you need because it is assertive behavior and lacks aggression. And how they choose to respond will tell you everything you need to know.
2. They give a 'death stare'
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It can be extremely rude or disrespectful when you're in the middle of a conversation with a friend and they choose to take a phone call instead of listening to you. Or, perhaps they keep interrupting you to continue with their longwinded story.
You are left with no choice but sit there silently, giving them angry glances until they notice how you feel. And while it's okay to use body language, some people might not get the hint, so it is best to vocalize your pain or hurt even if you don't want to cause trouble.
People often use their phones when spending time with others face-to-face, which causes them to pay more attention to their phones than the person in front of them. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people who use smartphones during face-to-face interaction showed a lower quality of enjoyment during those moments.
So, we should all be mindful of our phone usage when we are in the presence of others. It's incredibly disrespectful when we don't give them our undivided attention, and you might find yourself on the other side of an angry stare.
3. They play it cool
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At work, playing it cool under pressure certainly isn't an easy thing to do, especially when some things are out of your control. To make matters worse, nosy colleagues who approach you with their own insights may think they are helping you, but are really just getting in the way.
Suddenly, you're being backed into a corner and don't know whether to let out all of your frustrations. But one of the calmest ways brilliant people avoid being disrespected by anyone is by remaining cool under pressure, taking a deep breath, and waiting until they can get into a safe space to vent.
A 2024 workplace stress report by Insight revealed that 90% of employees report feeling stressed at work and 44% are already thinking about quitting within the next six months. This is staggering but not surprising as everyone gets stressed with work. We all have our good days and bad days, but that doesn't mean we give up or allow others to openly disrespect us.
4. They draw a line in the sand
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There are just some lines that people should never cross and only you know what those limits are. The moment you stand on business with people who try to test you, it will be the last time they ever try to disrespect you again.
This could be a colleague who is often interrupting you when you speak during work meetings or making rude comments towards you. It could be a family member who doesn't respect your boundaries and constantly crosses the line.
According to a 2018 Hiscox study, 53% of employees who experienced harassment at work were so afraid of a hostile environment that they didn't report the behavior, with 46% saying that fear of retaliation was the main reason for not reporting it. But when you draw a line in the sand with a disrespectful person, you are demanding to be treated with respect that you deserve and show that you don't fear retaliation from anyone.
5. They put the relationship on pause
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Taking a break from a conversation that is going nowhere is probably the most mature thing that you can do for your peace of mind. If you don't, you'll be trapped in an endless loop of arguments where nobody actually solves anything. Because you're not trying to find someone to blame and want to fix the problem, this starts by letting both parties cool off before coming back together to work on something again.
People can't think clearly when they are frustrated, so it's beneficial to their mental health to take a break from what is stressing them out. While it is prevalent in romantic relationships, the same can be applied to professional relationships or friendships. When two people can't seem to get along, a pause or a break is the only healthy alternative.
6. They put their foot down
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Disrespect can come in several forms that test the waters of your boundaries and what you are willing to tolerate. While these issues occur at work or with friends, sometimes the disrespect comes from the home.
There are too many stories of parents dealing with disrespect from entitled children and vice versa. The buck stops when you finally put your foot down and explicitly tell them that you will not speak to them when they are being disrespectful.
According to a study from Personality and Individual Differences, disrespectful children are likely to become rude adults. So, addressing these types of disrespectful behaviors early on is crucial to prevent it from escalating further. No matter the age, make sure you lay down the law for anyone disrespecting you, young or old.
7. They kill them with kindness
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When all else fails, killing someone with kindness is one of the best ways brilliant people avoid being disrespected by anyone. While this seems counterintuitive, it's not about forgiving them, it's about how you are seen or perceived by others.
The more you talk badly about someone, the more it reveals about you and your personality, rather than the other person. It also shows that you are not over the situation and are harboring resentment of some kind. Look inward and you'll find that it has to do with how you feel about yourself, not how this other person makes you feel.
Multiple studies, including one from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, support the notion that engaging in acts of kindness elevates happiness and improves the well-being of the person expressing that kindness. It can also disarm a hostile or disrespectful person and create a ripple effect of them paying that kindness forward.
8. They lead by example
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If you don't want people to disrespect you, the quickest way to do that is to lead by example. Treat others the way you would like to be treated and respect them the way you would want to be respected.
When you treat everyone as equals, regardless of status, they will respect you as a person who values character over merit. You become a natural leader to those around you who know that you will treat everyone with the same amount of fairness.
When you lead by example, others will respect and trust you openly. According to Nancy Fonseca, Senior Vice President of Great Place To Work Canada, organizations with leaders who demonstrate credibility, respect, and fairness have higher levels of employee trust and engagement. This is because employees in these environments feel valued and are more likely to contribute positively to the organization's success.
9. They educate rather than escalate
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One of the greatest ways brilliant people avoid being disrespected by anyone is by focusing on deescalating the situation by educating the person. Escalating a conflict is never helpful, especially in a professional setting where everyone is already frustrated.
This is why it's important to educate others who don't understand something rather than blame them for inadequacies. This could be new hires who need training or guidance for workers in the workplace who may not have thought that what they said was disrespectful.
One way to show them this is through assertive communication. Experts from Mayo Clinic say that assertive communication is generally more effective and less likely to escalate conflicts, compared to passive or aggressive responses, by helping to reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and create healthier relationships.
Being direct yet still managing to assist is a great leadership skill to have for brilliant people who do not tolerate disrespect around them.
10. They use humor
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Using your sense of humor when someone disrespects you is a way of taking your power back. It's also a fun way to put them in the hot seat for a change. Making a joke that is not malicious but pointing out a deep wound in someone will put them back in their place, especially if what they said about you was so blatantly rude.
A study published in Qualitative Health Research found that humor can function as a form of social power that can challenge authority or shift social dynamics. So, when you turn a person's disrespectful comment back on them and frame it as a joke, you shift everyone's perspective. Being humorous also brings the tension down and turns an awkward situation into a more lighthearted one.
11. They choose their battles wisely
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At times you might want to confront the problem with someone head on, but slowly begin to realize that it isn't really worth your time or energy. You're not running, you just know that getting riled up isn't worth disturbing your peace or ruining what you've got going on.
Choosing which battles you participate in and which ones you don't will empower you. Once you start silencing your inner critic and start trusting yourself, you will begin to notice that the things that used to bother you don't anymore. This includes the people who openly disrespect you.
You'll hear them continue to talk but not care as much about the words that they say. This is when you truly become an intelligent person who avoids being disrespected by anyone.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
