11 Rare Behaviors Of Truly Genuine People
True authenticity isn't something you can simply embrace overnight.
STEKLO | Shutterstock It's pretty easy to envision a truly genuine person in our minds — they're likable, effortlessly attractive, intuitive, and smart. However, these kinds of empathetic and kind-hearted people don't simply arrive in the world ready to support others and advocate for themselves; rather, they have to learn it from someone or something.
Many of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people that lead them through life, craft their routines, and define their relationships are part of the reason why they continue to learn and grow. They open up conversations, push themselves to step outside their comfort zone, and even spark better emotional intelligence that adds value to their personal solitude. Being genuine takes work, especially overcoming societal stigmas and internal insecurities, but with a commitment to the right behaviors and mentalities, it can become second nature.
Here are 11 rare behaviors of truly genuine people
1. They don't seek external validation
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Truly genuine people don't need to look outward to seek approval, praise, or attention. They're fully capable of internally soothing and motivating themselves. They show up better for themselves and others because they're confident and secure. They don't use conversations to seek approval, brag about their success for attention, or constantly ask other people for praise.
Like psychologist Kendra Kubala suggests, low self-esteem, jealousy, and loneliness tend to be the root causes of attention-seeking behavior patterns, all of which are things that truly genuine people hardly fall victim to, considering they have healthy behaviors, habits, and rituals that protect their personal well-being.
2. They actively listen
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Actively listening is one of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people who prioritize their relationships. Not only do they listen more than they speak, they use active listening strategies like asking thoughtful questions, using positive nonverbal cues, and opening up their body language to help other people feel importantly heard and valued, even in the most casual conversations.
According to a study published in Social Neuroscience, active listening is more powerful than many of us believe. It not only helps people to bond in relationships, it activates reward systems in the person talking, improving their self-esteem and promoting a higher positive energy.
3. They admit when they're wrong
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Taking accountability is one of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people. They're not only comfortable and secure enough in themselves to admit when they're wrong, they can make a mistake without running from the judgement or criticism of others.
They view their mistakes and trying things they've never done before as an uncomfortable path to growth. It's not a "failure" when they make a mistake, but a chance to ask for help or learn something new.
This mindset not only allows them to build better relationships by seeking knowledge and guidance from others, it promotes a more balanced self-esteem, better emotional well-being, and, of course, personal improvement.
4. They ask for help
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According to social psychologist Xuan Zhao, both asking for help and being asked for help by others are fundamental to strengthening existing relationships and building new meaningful ones. When we ask other people for help, we assist them in feeling valued and heard, worthy of positive attention and support.
Alternatively, when we're asked for guidance, advice, or help by others, we feel that same sense of value, improving our well-being, emotional state, and relationships.
5. They don't feel entitled to anyone or anything
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Truly genuine people don't view their relationships as transactional, which is what sets them apart in conversations and interactions with their loved ones. They're not giving out compliments and expecting something in return or punishing behavior they don't like with things like the silent treatment. They're open, honest, and communicative about what they need and how.
According to psychology educator Kendra Cherry, transactional relationships — on a surface level — are common and fundamental to many aspects of our society, but when they take over the dynamic of a friendship or intimate relationship, they can quickly spark anxious thoughts and resentment.
6. They're comfortable saying 'no'
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According to psychologist Jacquelyn Johnson, saying no can be uncomfortable, especially when so many of us agree to things simply for the sake of appeasing others and avoiding discomfort. But it's still one of the things emotionally intelligent and genuine people prioritize in their daily lives.
They know the power of setting and maintaining boundaries is more important than fending off discomfort. In fact, they know that embracing the uncomfortable nature of saying "no" can spark more personal growth in their lives than agreeing for the sake of someone else's comfort and happiness.
7. They prioritize honesty
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For many people, honesty is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, you're not only left battling for positive attention, overstepping boundaries, and adopting a state of constant anxiety, you're unable to grow together, whether it's a friendship, an intimate relationship, or otherwise.
One of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people is their ability to prioritize honesty in their everyday lives. They're not only honest with themselves about what they need and what's good for them on a daily basis, they're honest with others. They express their emotions and needs, own up to their mistakes, and discuss concerns.
8. They have curious conversations
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While studies, including one published in Neuron, do show that curiosity and intelligence are inherently linked, seeking out curiosities, trying new things, and having conversations about things they're interested in are also some of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people.
They're not interested in having these conversations and seeking out new knowledge for the sake of embodying their intelligence, they're simply embracing their authenticity and following their interests.
Even in their alone time, which has been shown to have incredible benefits emotionally and psychologically for people who leverage their solitude well, they act on their curiosity, indulging in their passions, interests, and hobbies.
They don't feel a pressure to follow everyone else or adopt the hobbies and activities of everyone else. They're not even pressured to say "yes" to social interactions when they'd prefer solitude.
9. They speak about their emotions in the moment
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One of the rare behaviors of a truly genuine person is their ability to be vulnerable, regulate their emotions in the moment, and have hard conversations with the people in their lives. They don't suppress their emotions to people-please others or even cope with complex emotions by distracting themselves. They're emotionally resilient enough to deal with them, talk about them, and move on.
While it might be uncomfortable for the average person at first, practicing emotional vulnerability and having these hard conversations is the key to unlocking intimacy in any kind of relationship, according to psychologist Dr. Jomana Sweiss. They build trust through vulnerability, bond with others by getting honest about their feelings, and resolve conflict faster and more effectively by putting all their cards on the table.
10. They avoid gossip
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While research does suggest that gossip isn't always an inherently negative or bad thing, engaging in it too often or structuring entire conversations and relationships around it sparks much more negativity than genuine people are interested in cultivating.
Truly genuine people would prefer to find shared interests, experiences, and bonds with other people by speaking about themselves and actively listening, rather than talking poorly about someone else for the sake of building a bond.
11. They embrace the 'weird'
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Even if their interests are societally "weird" or uncommon, one of the rare behaviors of truly genuine people is their ability to embrace their quirkiness and find light amongst the darkness of judgement and criticism in the world.
Despite what everyone else seems to believe in our society, the key to being "attractive" or likable isn't following trends, seeking out external validation, or comparing ourselves with everyone else — it's genuinity. Of course, genuine people aren't embracing their weirdness for the sake of a societal honor or being likable. They're doing it for them, which makes it even easier to feel comfortable and secure in their presence.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
