17 Rare Traits Of People Who Love Being Alone And Never Settle For Shallow Connections, According To Psychology
Some people crave depth over surface-level bonds.
pocstock | Canva We all know a loner, but probably have misconceptions about what they are like and their personality traits that make them so unique. According to psychologist Jonathan Cheek, a professor of personality psychology at Wellesley College, loners want to be by themselves because they do not need acceptance.
"Some people simply have a low need for affiliation," says Cheek. "There is a big subdivision between the loner-by-preference and the enforced loner. Those who choose the living room over the ballroom may have inherited their temperament... Or, a penchant for solitude could reflect a mix of innate tendencies and experiences such as not having many friends as a child or growing up in a family that values privacy."
Loners tend to be smarter, more loyal friends. However, if someone has an outgoing friend who abruptly becomes a loner, that may be cause for concern.
Here are 17 rare traits of people who love being alone and never settle for shallow connections, according to psychology:
1. They value time
If there is anything extremely important to a loner, it is their time. They respect and value time more than anything else. They are well aware that time is the most valuable asset to a successful life.
They will do everything in their power to not be late, never waste someone else's time, and will never allow someone to waste their time. They avoid fake behavior and cannot tolerate people that think they can be played with.
Through their self-awareness, they have developed a huge level of self-respect. Respect their time as they respect yours, and you can expect one of the most incredible friendships imaginable.
2. They are self-aware
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Many people choose to ignore their thoughts and emotions. Loners choose to embrace these feelings and become fully aware of them. Self-awareness is very important and difficult to achieve.
Loners know themselves better than anyone else, and this allows them to understand those around them better. Everyone has periods of depressive and discouraging thoughts, but loners can navigate through them.
3. They are level-headed
Loners are amazingly strong-willed when tough situations come their way. They have incredible focus and will power as a result of their frequent reflection and alone time.
They can feel overwhelmed by stressful situations, but instead of getting caught up with distractions, they decide to spend some time alone and recharge. During this time, they devise solutions to their problems and ways to cope.
4. They are open-minded
Even though they like being alone, this does not make them rigid and close-minded. On the contrary, they are extremely open-minded and are always up for new ideas and activities.
They do not plan to spend their entire lives in their bedroom. They enjoy exploring and going on new adventures. However, you will need to make sure you give them their alone time before going anywhere that involves several people.
Open-minded individuals often enjoy solitude because it allows for autonomy, self-reflection, and a reduced need to conform to societal expectations. 2023 research explained that this aligns with the understanding that solitude can be a space for personal growth, emotional regulation, and introspection, ultimately fostering a stronger sense of self.
5. They are loyal
Loners do not crave the company of others; however, this does not mean they do not have friends. Once they get to like someone and want to be your friend, they will be one of the most loyal friends on the planet.
They know their value and worth. They exercise loyalty in all fields of life. Relationships, work, family — you name it.
6. They set clear boundaries
Loners always have healthy boundaries. They understand themselves perfectly. They have strong values. They never feel alone.
They know they always have themselves. They will respect your boundaries and will let you know if you are about to cross theirs. In the end, if you cannot be faithful to yourself, you cannot be faithful to anyone.
7. They are aware of their weaknesses and strengths
Loners are more than aware of what their weaknesses and strengths are. However, they know there is always room to improve, no matter how good they think they are doing.
Regardless of being self-aware of these imperfections, they still hold their heads high to show others that it is okay to be confident in who they are.
8. They are extremely empathetic
One of the obvious signs someone is a loner is the tendency to be one of the most empathetic people in the world. They can feel and sympathize with others on the same level as they are. It is a very intense curse to have when they can feel everyone else's sorrow or despair.
But since they are so empathetic, it is easy for them to find the bright side in almost any negative circumstance. They would rather find a resolution to whatever conflict is making their friends upset.
Research suggests that highly empathetic individuals may prefer solitude for several reasons, including the need to process their intense emotional experiences, protect themselves from overstimulation, and prioritize self-care. Empaths often describe feeling drained or overwhelmed when around others, as they tend to absorb the emotions of those around them. Solitude allows them to recharge and regulate their emotional state.
9. They embrace imperfection
Knowing their weaknesses and strengths, loners know that no one is absolutely one hundred percent perfect. We all have our own flaws and ways to improve; however, they know it is better to just go with the flow.
They do what they feel is right for themselves and for others, and make sure they address each flaw within themselves with honesty and how they can improve on some of those imperfections.
10. They are guided by intuition
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Their intuition is their constant guide through life, leading them to the next best thing that awaits them on their long journey of growing up.
There is a lot that can be said about them and their gut instincts when it comes to making tough decisions. They do not get scared easily because they know their intuition will lead them somewhere just as amazing as the last adventure they had.
11. They are never codependent
There is never a time in their life when they feel as if they need to depend on someone else for anything at all. They prefer to be their own person; even if they are in a relationship with someone else, they still prefer to do things their way.
Being dependent on someone else for trivial needs is something they try to avoid, and they will go to great lengths to show others just how capable they are on their own.
12. They are kind and compassionate
They love to demonstrate the meaning of compassion as well as kindness to others so they can understand that spreading love is a necessary piece of existence.
Showing others just how passionate they are about the things they love to do most, as well as being with the people that they love most, is one of the best qualities of a personality that not everyone gets to witness.
Individuals who demonstrate kindness and compassion may find comfort and benefit in solitude. This is not necessarily a contradiction but rather a reflection of the individual's unique personality and needs. Studies have linked self-compassion with improved mental well-being, including reduced loneliness and increased resilience.
13. They are courageous
They are a person who exudes confidence and that confidence makes them extremely desirable to everyone else. There is a certain glow about their personality that brings out the best in others, and they look up to their courage with inspiration in their eyes.
This goes hand in hand with them being one of the best role models because of how courageous they are. There is not a single challenge or adversity that they will not face down themself.
14. They are self-loving
Even with the bad times in life, they still find a way to love themself no matter what happens to them. Of course, they know that there will be times when you are not as perfect, ready, or experienced yet to do some of the things you'd like to do; however, they still love every piece of you regardless. There will always be room to improve, and that means they are going to work hard for that success.
15. They are reliable
Flakiness is often a trait that nobody desires. People with integrity make sure others know they stand by their word. If they make a promise, you can be sure they will follow through.
16. They are emotionally strong
Loners are typically used to relying on themselves if they enjoy a solitary life. They fight and win their own battles. It may seem a little intimidating to you at first, but do not let it put you off, though. Why would you want to be with an emotionally weak person?
This is linked to the ability to experience authenticity, autonomy, and self-reflection, leading to improved mental well-being, stress management, and creative breakthroughs. Research from The American Psychological Association found that it can also indicate a higher resilience, as individuals who can cope with alone time are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks.
17. They have a moral compass
People with integrity are a bully's worst nightmare. They do not put up with insults or degrading language, and are known to stand up for people who cannot defend themselves. Their moral compass is precise; they know what is right and what is wrong, and have a deep conviction for balanced justice.
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