10 Brilliant Characteristics Of Fiercely Private People Who Don't Need To Prove Themselves To Anyone
These people don't focus on anyone else's opinions.
JKstock | Shutterstock Deemed antisocial or selfish by some, private people might be silently reaping the benefits of traits that are uniquely their own. Celebrating individuality, embracing confidence, and building a trustworthy inner circle, they understand that focusing on your privacy can improve every aspect of your life.
Whether it's their strong values or firm boundaries, there are many brilliant characteristics of fiercely private people who don't need to prove themselves to anyone. They keep to themselves and are usually introverted, but they also do what they want without worrying what others think. And it's a great mindset to be in.
Here are 10 brilliant characteristics of fiercely private people who don't need to prove themselves to anyone
1. They think before they speak
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While many are quick to dive into conversations or engage with others in public, private people are more likely to think before they speak. Understanding the power of words and spending time crafting their opinions and values in their own time, they find peace in taking a quick moment to ensure their thoughts align with their conversations.
A trait held by few and desired by many, being able to listen actively and speak thoughtfully is an important skill and characteristic of these individuals. As licensed marriage and family therapist John Amodeo pointed out, "Pausing allows us to be gently present with our feelings, which gives them time to settle. It allows for self-soothing, which positions us to convey what we're feeling in a responsible, authentic, congruent way."
2. They're careful about how they spend time with others
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Reveling in alone time is one of the brilliant characteristics of fiercely private people who don't need to prove themselves to anyone, though spending time by yourself is scary to some. But for private individuals, they harness the power of alone time to their advantage — becoming more self-aware, appreciating small moments in their lives, and growing their confidence.
Spending time with themselves (whether it be taking themselves on a date or simply finding time to wind down), private people find comfort in their time alone. In growing their own wellness, they don't feel the need to compete or compare themselves with others to find peace.
3. Private people keep their feelings to themselves
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Dealing with emotions, reacting to strong feelings, and fostering connections with others is part of the human experience, but many people struggle to accept and cope with their feelings.
People who are more private with their emotions tend to deal with them in a healthy way, and that's far from an easy task. Oftentimes, being able to manage emotions in private can help with healthier reactions in public.
4. They have strong values and beliefs
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Many people grow their beliefs and values from others. Whether it's conscious or not, people often share the values of their close circle of friends or family. In fact, a study published in Advances in Life Course Research found that parents tend to pass their personal values down to their children.
Instead of relying on the outside world, private people spend time away to craft their personal values. Enjoying life without seeking validation allows your true values to emerge, as privacy breeds confidence.
5. They use social media in a healthy way and for their own creativity
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Because they don't need validation from social media, private people find peace in their own perspectives, creativity, and small circles. It's yet another of the brilliant characteristics of fiercely private people who don't need to prove themselves to anyone, because while it's a trait many don't have, private people might actually be ahead of their time.
More people today are leaning towards a less all-encompassing and smaller approach to social channels. Instead of larger (read: more toxic) platforms, people are moving over to smaller niche apps to connect with their close friends and family. So, as social trends start to shift towards less validation online, people might actually be adopting more of the traits private people embody, and reaping the benefits.
6. Private people are fiercely independent
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Curious, creative, and confident, private people don't rely on others to build their own worth. While independence doesn't have to follow people into every aspect of their lives, being able to thrive alone is a talent many private people have mastered.
Even if you don't consider yourself to be private or particularly value alone time, finding ways to incorporate independence into areas of your life can be beneficial. Whether it's financial like starting a safety fund, social like taking yourself out for coffee, or emotional like doing some meditation, independence is a virtue many should try to channel.
7. They keep secrets well, and other people trust them
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While many people trust private individuals to keep their secrets safe, they also find comfort in building a connection with someone who doesn't throw relationships around often. Because people who openly share the secrets of others probably won't find themselves with many friends.
Personal development coach Moira Hutchison explained that listening is essential in gaining someone's trust. "When people feel like you are genuinely listening to what they're saying, they develop closeness to you and they feel comfortable in your presence," she said.
8. Private people have firm boundaries
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Creating boundaries and sticking to them is something everyone struggles with at least once in their lifetime. Oftentimes, acknowledging you need boundaries in the first place is the hardest part.
But private people don't allow others to meddle in their lives at inappropriate times, nor do they let people trample on their boundaries. Instead, they say no when necessary, don't seek approval or fear rejection, and protect their alone time. All of these are made possible by having healthy boundaries.
9. They're motivated and know what they want in life
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With time away from the trends and fads of the public, private people have time to develop their own goals in life. Present and engaged with their own minds, they find comfort in developing their own life paths rather than following the in-crowd.
Perhaps one of the most brilliant characteristics of fiercely private people who don't need to prove themselves to anyone is their tendency to stick to what they want in life. They don't let the opinions or thoughts of others throw them off.
10. They have great time management skills
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Because they're not often relying on others to complete their work or troubleshoot a problem, private people stick to their own schedules. They're successful in managing their time and are usually able to meet deadlines and remain punctual.
A study published in PLOS One determined that over a 30 year period, 72% of people had better overall life satisfaction when they were able to manage and structure their time properly. "Time management helps people feel better about their lives because it helps them schedule their day-to-day around their values and beliefs, giving them a feeling of self-accomplishment," lead researcher Brad Aeon revealed.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
