Woman's Husband Disappears For 5 Weeks Without Explaining Why — He Says It Was 'Nothing Personal'
He just wants her to forget it ever happened and move on but she's wondering if she's wrong for not letting it go.
RDNE Stock project / Pexels It’s hard to get through a day without seeing a story from a distraught wife saying, “My husband left me for another woman” or “My husband left me because he was unhappy.” Tales of husbands walking out on their families, carrying on decades-long affairs that resulted in second families, faking their deaths, and openly seeing other women make it hard for women to see themselves living up to the "until death do us part" vow.
The silver lining in those situations is the closure that wives get when their husband's secrets are uncovered, but one woman is sitting in turmoil, wondering what to make of her husband’s actions. She wrote into the advice column "Dear Prudence" to share her hurtful story and ask for advice on what to do next.
The woman's husband disappeared for 5 weeks without explaining why, saying 'it's nothing personal.'
The woman started by saying that she and her husband had been married for three years. She thought they were happy until she got an unwelcome surprise.
“I came home from work to find him standing in the kitchen with a suitcase, saying that it was nothing personal, but he needed to get away for a while, and then he left,” she said. After that, the man walked out of the house and disappeared for five long weeks without taking time to reach out to his wife.
In those five weeks, the shellshocked woman was “frantic with worry” and completely caught off guard. She proceeded to reach out to family and friends and no one, including the missing husband’s parents, had seen, or heard from him. Upon calling his job, she found out he had not been there and had taken a leave of absence.
After being gone for five weeks, her wayward husband suddenly showed up back home as if nothing had happened. He wouldn’t answer questions about his whereabouts and was even upset when he found out his wife had contacted other people in an effort to find him. According to her, he didn’t want anyone involved in his "personal business."
Since he got back home, she has been filled with anxiety and curiosity, wondering if he was having a crisis of some sort or simply decided he wanted to spend an extended amount of time with another woman. The man’s refusal to provide answers has left her with distrust in her husband and in limbo about the status of their relationship.
The woman’s husband just wants to move past the situation, forget it ever happened, and pick up where he and his wife left off, but she is demanding answers and tells him that if he can’t give an appropriate response, he should leave. So far, he has only said he is not going to discuss that matter and doesn’t plan on leaving the home and she is uncertain of what her next course of action should be.
Prudence’s said what all of us were undoubtedly thinking.
“What he did is a gross violation. Maybe he was shacked up with someone else, maybe he was involved in some kind of crooked enterprise, maybe he was going cold turkey. But whatever was happening, what he did, and his attitude toward you, are inexcusable.”
It is truly impossible for a married couple to move past something so traumatic without first having an open and honest conversation about what happened and why it happened. Effective communication, a willingness to talk to one another, professional intervention, and a concerted effort to make the marriage successful are key elements of overcoming the betrayal of trust in a relationship.
This husband is not the first half of a married couple that has decided to take a sabbatical from the marriage, but when he did it, the lack of information and communication left his wife uncertain of their future together. Now whatever unhappiness he was experiencing has left her unable to be her best self for him or any children they might have. When there is no honesty or trust in a relationship, the best choice a person can make is to walk away, no matter how long it has lasted.
Real love includes a sense of compassion for your partner and if he were truly a good husband, he would not leave the woman he loves to wrack her brain about his actions and try to dig for her own answers. I guess he missed that part of his marriage vows.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationship, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.