Photo: TikTok
She's been alone with the kids for three days and now it's time for him to step up.
By John Sundholm — Written on May 06, 2023
It's no secret that when it comes to parental duties, the division of labor between moms and dads is often woefully unequal, and dads are often applauded for doing basic parenting work that moms never get any credit for.
One dad posted a video that perfectly shows the entitlement of many dads out there. Thankfully it's just a joke, in his case — but an instantly relatable one to many parents.
A TikToker posted a video lamenting that he's 'gotta be a dad' after returning from a trip.
In the video, TikToker "@nate.aka.nasty," a musician, husband, and father, pokes fun at a familiar situation — a dad who has more freedom than his wife, who gets a rude awakening when he returns home and his wife is all too eager to leave him with the kids for a moment of escape.
The TikToker joked about having to parent while his wife went "to do something for herself."
The video shows Nate driving up to his house after several days of touring to find his wife already zooming off in the car to "go do something for herself" after days of being home alone with the kids. Nate begins to cry while onscreen text reads, "When you're finally home from touring and you see your wife speeding off to do something for herself and now you gotta be a dad."
That will surely set many moms' teeth on edge, but Nate was quick to underline that he was poking fun at the situation. "Like why does she have to have fun too," he writes in his video caption before addressing his wife Grace to say, "all jokes though" and to declare how much he loves "my 1-on-1 time" with his daughter Louessa, who he called "Lil Lou."
For her part, Grace definitely has a sense of humor about the whole thing too — and she got her husband back. She posted a video the same day in which Nate wanted to "immediately go to the gym" after returning home from his tour. Instead, she stiffs him with Louessa and bolts out the door before he has a chance to leave. Grace was gonna get that alone time no matter what!
Despite the demands of his music career, the TikToker and his wife seem to have struck a balance with parenting duties.
And nowadays, that's no small feat. Recent studies have shown that "mom burnout" has reached epidemic proportions, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic began.
A 2022 study at the Ohio State University found that a shocking 66% of working parents said they felt so exhausted by the demands of parenting that they had nothing more to give. But while parents of both sexes are feeling the crunch, the difference in "parental burnout" between moms and dads is staggering — while 68% of moms reported burnout, only 42% of dads did, showing just how unequal the parenting load is in many partnerships.
But even as Nate's touring schedule has intensified, he and Grace seem to be one of the few couples who have found a way to balance the demands.
But even their partnership is full of the usual foibles. In their TikToks, Nate playfully ribs his wife for her "bad attitude," while she jokingly complains about how much time he spends gaming.
Their humorous takes on married life will be instantly relatable to many spouses out there — like Grace's video in which she lip syncs to just the "never mind" part of Adele's "Someone Like You" under onscreen text that reads, "when you ask your man to do something but he isn't doing it how you would do it."
Still, the couple seems to have found a way to make it all work, and their sense of humor about the foibles of marriage and parenting seems to be key to their success. Hopefully as Nate's music career continues to expand, he can be a model to many dads out there — even if he doesn't quite do the housework perfectly!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.