The Art Of Being Unbothered: 21 Simple Ways To Be A Confident Person
Tugce Acikyurek | Unsplash As you wander through your life, you may come up against many relationships, both professional and personal, that have an important impact on you. The way you process other people’s behavior towards you makes you who you are today. This affects how you build your self-esteem, as well as how you build your self-confidence and self-worth.
These interactions are an important part of how you view yourself. Have you ever had someone put you down, bully you, or strip you of your self-worth? They may have been a past partner, friend, parent, guardian, boss, or coworker.
Here's a list of 21 self-esteem-boosting tips you can introduce into your day to become far more unbothered. If you can implement at least three to five of these daily, you'll begin to feel a shift in your mood and build your confidence over time. People will start to treat you differently. You're capable of having a balanced sense of self-esteem, but it must start with changing a few things first.
Here are 21 simple ways to be a confident person:
1. Accept that everything in your life is a learning experience
We're all figuring it out as we go. The difference between confident people and everyone else is that they don't treat failure like a verdict. When something doesn't work, it's just information. That's it.
2. Focus on your strengths
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You don't have to be great at everything. Seriously. Most people spend way too much energy trying to fix their weaknesses when they'd be better off doubling down on what already works. Research published in 2024 found that people who regularly use their strengths experience increases in hope, well-being, and confidence. So figure out what you're naturally good at and lean into it.
3. Celebrate what you do well
When's the last time you actually acknowledged something you did right? Not in a braggy way, either, just privately, to yourself. Most of us skip right past our wins and set up camp on everything that went wrong. That habit kills confidence faster than actual failure does.
4. Trust your decisions
The thing about constantly asking other people what you should do is that what's right for them probably isn't right for you. And second-guessing yourself after every choice is exhausting. Research from Cambridge University found that people with higher decision-making ability feel more comfortable making complex decisions rather than avoiding them. Trusting yourself is a muscle. Use it or lose it.
5. Give compliments — but only genuine ones
When you genuinely compliment someone, you both feel better. It shifts your focus outward, reminds you there's enough good to go around, and usually sparks some real connection. Confident people aren't threatened by other people doing well.
6. Say nice things to yourself
Your inner dialogue matters. A lot. If you wouldn't say it to someone you love, don't say it to yourself. Research from the Harvard Business Review found that people who referred to themselves in the second or third person while preparing for stressful tasks were calmer, more confident, and performed better. Small shift, real results.
7. Surround yourself with positive people — but not toxically positive
The people around you either lift you up or quietly drain you. Confidence doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's a lot easier to believe in yourself when the people around you believe in you, too.
8. Just be you
Pretending to be someone you're not is exhausting. Confidence grows when you stop performing and start showing up as yourself. Research in 2018 found that authenticity is directly connected to both self-esteem and life satisfaction. Being real actually makes you feel better about who you are.
9. Share your opinions
Your thoughts have value even if not everyone agrees with them. Speaking up, even in small moments, sends a message to yourself that your voice matters. The more you do it, the more natural it gets.
10. Push yourself out of your comfort zone
Growth and comfort don't usually happen at the same time. A 2021 study found that people who regularly step outside their comfort zone show higher self-efficacy and lower anxiety. They're also more likely to feel excited about new experiences instead of dreading them. You don't have to do something terrifying. Just something that makes you a little nervous.
11. Do mildly uncomfortable things
This is different from #10. I'm not talking about skydiving. I'm talking about the small stuff like starting a conversation with a stranger, trying a new class, and asking for what you want at a restaurant. These micro-challenges train your brain to handle discomfort without shutting down.
12. Smile at other people to lift their mood
When you smile at someone, it activates mirror neurons in their brain that prompt them to smile back. That feedback loop releases dopamine and serotonin for both of you. It's a tiny gesture that shifts energy and reminds you of your own impact.
13. Respect your body in health and well-being
How you treat your body sends a message to your brain about how much you value yourself. This is about moving, resting, and eating in ways that make you feel like you care about yourself. Because you should.
14. Pay attention to how you feel
It's important to remember that confidence is about noticing them so you can respond instead of just reacting. Harvard research found that people who can identify and label their emotions regulate them more effectively. On the other side, low emotional awareness is linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety.
15. Quite comparing
Comparison is a trap. Confident people stay in their own lane and measure progress against where they started, not where someone else is. Your path is your path.
16. Allow yourself a little self-compassion
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Loving yourself is the baseline for how you let other people treat you. When you actually like who you are, you stop chasing validation from people and places that were never going to give it to you anyway.
17. Get thoughts off your chest
Holding everything inside creates pressure that erodes confidence over time. Talk to a friend. Write it down. Say it out loud in your car. Whatever works. You don't have to carry it all by yourself.
18. Repeat daily affirmations
Generic mantras won't do much. However, finding a few statements that genuinely resonate can shift how you think over time. Confidence is partly a mental habit. Affirmations help train your brain to default to self-belief instead of self-doubt.
19. Stand up for yourself
Letting things slide when they bother you doesn't keep the peace. It just builds resentment and shrinks your sense of self. You don't have to be aggressive about it. But advocating for yourself, calmly and clearly, is a form of self-respect.
20. Forgive
Holding onto grudges ties up energy that could go somewhere better. Forgiveness is about refusing to keep carrying it. A study from BMC Psychology found strong links between forgiveness and well-being, including higher positive affect and lower symptoms of depression. Letting go is an act of self-liberation.
21. Believe yourself to be equal to everyone else
Confidence isn't about thinking you're better than anyone. It's knowing you're not less than anyone, either. When you walk into a room believing you have just as much right to be there as everyone else, people notice. And more importantly, so do you.
Caroline Rushforth is a certified NLP coach and life coach with over 10 years' experience helping women who are overwhelmed with worry, negative thoughts, and low self-esteem.
