If Someone Does These 7 Things In Your Relationship, It's Not Miscommunication — It's Disrespect
romainjorgephotos | Canva Finding true respect while dating can be extremely difficult, especially since not everyone wants to get to know you and build a serious relationship. Some people only date for money. Others only date for even more selfish reasons. While research has shown that when some people feel greater commitment with a partner they don't get along with, they can become more selfish.
So, what do some people do in a relationship that can help you determine if it's disrespect, not just a simple case of miscommunication? Believe it or not, people often ignore or don’t notice the obvious signs of dating someone who doesn't have basic respect for them.
If someone does these 7 things in your relationship, it's not miscommunication — it's disrespect:
1. They constantly ask for favors
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Even though this may seem innocent at first, sometimes, it’s a red flag of disrespect if they start taking advantage of your kindness. Of course, you would do anything for your significant other, but when these requests become a habit or expectation, look out. This erodes trust.
Life coach Heather Hans cautioned, "It will be very difficult for you to feel loved by someone you don’t trust. Trust serves as the essential foundation for genuine intimacy and lasting love. Research confirms that trust is essential for establishing stable and fulfilling romantic relationships between partners."
2. They make you feel guilty
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I can’t emphasize enough how important this one is. My ex-boyfriend used to lay on the guilt when I couldn’t help him out financially. He would say things like, “If you don’t have money, then how am I supposed to get dinner tonight?” It got to the point where I sent him money constantly out of guilt. Nobody should ever manipulate you like that.
"When you notice this behavior affects your emotional, physical, and mental health, it's time to speak up for yourself," advised relationship coach Keya Murthy. "Because unless you set boundaries and sustain them over time, your relationship will stay in this negative space."
3. They don’t appreciate anything you do
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When you go out of your way to help your partner, you expect them to express their gratitude. However, when someone is using you, they turn a blind eye to your kindhearted efforts. And that suggests their intentions might not be so pure.
Family therapist Richard Drobnick suggested, "Even after years together, women can feel unappreciated when their partners stop making an effort. Gestures that once reinforced closeness may fade, leaving her feeling unseen and undervalued. When courting disappears, it can send the message that she and their relationship are no longer a priority."
4. They rarely give you attention
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Lack of affection is a major relationship red flag. When your partner doesn’t give you their undivided attention, they’re probably using you and don’t care about your feelings. Sometimes this can signal infidelity. Other times, it might imply that this person only wants money or gifts from you.
"If a relationship is built on affection, and then there is a sudden loss of that, the chances of the relationship surviving long-term are slim," warned relationship coach Nicola Beer. "Affection in a relationship is essential because it helps romantic partners bond and feel closer to each other through intimacy. Lack of affection in a relationship can cause serious damage, and it may be a sign you and your partner have grown apart."
5. They make excuses and avoid spending time with you
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Quality time is one of the five love languages and an important part of every relationship. Therefore, this is one of the major red flags on this list. When I dated my ex-boyfriend, he would plan to visit me and then, all of a sudden, he would cancel on me. If someone really loves you, they will make you a priority.
Psychotherapist Brittney Lindstrom explained, "Quality time allows you to address and periodically check in to reassess your shared vision of life goals, your current work situation, possible career moves, family life, and so on. It gives you time for intimacy, even if it's just holding hands while taking a walk together on a beautiful autumn day."
6. They feel like the world revolves around them
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I know this may not seem like a big deal, but it’s truly a red flag. When your partner feels like the world owes them something, it shows they feel entitled. It could also mean they just want to control you.
"When one partner doesn't feel seen or cared for, this can cause even the most secure individuals to have doubts about the well-being of their relationship," explained relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins. "They may start devoting more energy and affection to caring for their significant other, contributing to the existing lack of balance and tipping the scales even more. When they see their efforts are in vain, it causes the opposite intended effect. Because, while it's healthy to have needs, what comes across as excessive neediness can push the other away more."
7. They ghost you for days at a time
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Ghosting is a huge red flag because if a person loves you, they wouldn’t want to ghost you. Quite the contrary, they would want to be around you 24/7, and they would text you throughout the day. That’s not to say you should spend every moment with your significant other. However, people in committed relationships tell each other when they need space or experience difficult times. Overall, dating can be difficult. But, hopefully, these things will help you see whether you’re being used for the wrong reasons. Then you won’t get your heart crushed by the emotional moochers out there.
Tylia Flores is a multi-published author, advocate, activist, podcast creator, and host. Tylia published her autobiography and a five-part series called Handi-capable Stomping on the Barriers that Come My Way. She is currently working on a children’s book called Larry the Differently Abled Bear.
