10 Simple Signs Of Deception That Show Up In A Person's Everyday Behavior
Luis Pereira | Unsplash People lie all the time. They tell small lies to their boss, to a casual friend, and even to themselves. They tell bigger lies to get themselves out of trouble or to avoid conflict. We all try to be honest, but sometimes it seems as if it's crucial to lie.
There are times when people tell tall tales to seem more interesting, and when questioned about the validity of their story, they become defensive and hostile. Lies can cause serious damage, like when you're scammed in business, cheated out of money, betrayed by a loved one, or cheated on by a spouse. Lies can destroy a relationship, or if it doesn't totally obliterate the relationship, it can wreck the trust that was once there.
Unfortunately, we can't always tell the difference between someone not being honest and someone telling a huge, life-changing whopper of a lie. For the most part, we want to give people the benefit of the doubt as we do'’t want to think of them as liars and cheats, and when we discover the truth, it can be heartbreaking.
Dr. Lillian Glass is a behavioral analyst and body language expert. Dr. Glass has worked closely with the FBI on identifying signals of deception. She says that in order to know if someone is lying to you, you need to be familiar with their behavior when they're not lying. Then you'll want to observe their facial expressions, body language, speech patterns, and even their online writing patterns. In her book The Body Language of Liars, Dr. Glass gives some hints on how to uncover the signs of deception, from bluffing to flat-out fraud.
Here are 10 simple signs of deception that show up in everyday behavior:
1. Their head position changes
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One of the major telltale signs of lying is when the person suddenly changes the position of their head when you ask them a question directly. "The head will be retracted or jerked back, bowed down, or cocked or tilted to the side," says Dr. Glass. One particularly telling sign, according to Dr. Paul Ekman, apioneering psychologist, renowned as the world's leading expert on facial expressions, emotions, and deception, is when someone gives a tiny head shake "no" while saying "yes," or nods along while denying something. It's their body reacting to the truth even as their mouth tells a different story.
2. They start breathing more heavily
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When someone is nervous and lying to you, they start breathing heavily. It's a reflex action and their voice may become shallow. "They are out of breath because their heart rate and blood flow change," says Dr. Glass. "Your body experiences these types of changes when you're nervous and feeling tense."
3. They stand rigidly still
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We've all seen the way the nervous person is portrayed on TV and in movies as being very fidgety. But don't overlook those people who stand scarily still, as someone in a rigid stance is a major red flag. You might expect a liar to be all fidgety and restless, but it's often the opposite. When stress kicks in, the body freezes, research argues. People telling the truth tend to move their hands freely because their brain isn't working overtime. Liars, though, are putting so much effort into keeping their story straight that their natural gestures stall out.
4. They repeat words and phrases
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When someone is repeating words and phrases, they're trying to buy some time to gather their thoughts. They're working hard to try to convince you, and themselves, that what they're saying is the truth. A 2003 study found that repeating words is actually one of the more consistent signs someone might be lying. It all comes down to mental workload.
5. They touch or cover their mouth
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The liar isn't aware that when they lie, they often touch or cover their mouth. It's a way to avoid answering a question. Researcher Desmond Morris once had nurses pretend to lie to patients, and the liars touched their faces a lot more than the truth-tellers did. We tend to become more self-aware as we get older, though, so that urge to cover your mouth gets toned down over time. What used to be a hand clamped over the mouth becomes a quick lip touch, a finger near the corner of the mouth, or a casual nose rub.
6. They instinctively cover vulnerable body parts
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When someone subconsciously covers the vulnerable places on their body — such as their throat, chest, head, and stomach — it's an indication that they're lying. Former FBI Special Agent Joe Navarro noticed that when people feel stressed or threatened, they instinctively reach for vulnerable spots like the neck, throat, or chest. Body language experts call these "pacifying behaviors," and they tend to ramp up when someone's feeling the heat.
7. They point a lot
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They tend to become defensive when they think you're onto them, which results in a great deal of pointing. When someone feels cornered, their body often gives them away before their words do. Body language experts say that pointing at or toward someone else is a way of shifting focus and redirecting blame. It's basically the physical version of what psychologists call deflection, where people avoid taking responsibility by turning attention onto someone or something else.
8. They give way too much information
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A person who isn't telling the truth will often give an excess of details. "Liars often talk a lot because they are hoping that, with all their talking and seeming openness, others will believe them," says Dr. Glass. People who are lying tend to talk too much. Research from Harvard Business School found that liars often pile on unnecessary details to make their story sound more believable. The idea is that if they bury you in specifics, you'll be too busy keeping track of everything to actually question whether any of it is true.
9. They find it difficult to speak
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When liars find it difficult to speak, it's not because their lies are hot and uncomfortable to say — it's because when we're stressed and lying, our mouths get dry. Be alert for sudden lip-biting and pursed lips. Research shows that people tend to purse their lips when they're being dishonest about something sensitive. You might also catch them licking their lips, biting them, or swallowing more than usual as they try to combat that sudden dryness.
10. They stare without blinking much
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Liars believe that if they can maintain eye contact with you, you'll believe they're telling the truth, so they overcompensate by staring and blinking. "When people tell the truth, most will occasionally shift their eyes around and may even look away from time to time," says Dr. Glass. "Liars, on the other hand, will use a cold, steady gaze to intimidate and control."
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and astrology lover. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day.
