6 Signs A Woman Has A Deeply Problematic Personality, According To Psychology
These patterns show up when a woman's personality traits are more destructive than they first appear.
Carolina Basi | Pexels We all have moments where we're not our best selves. We get stressed, make mistakes, react poorly, or say things we don't mean. There's an important distinction between occasional difficult behavior and consistent, problematic patterns that create toxicity and emotional harm in relationships.
The ability to spot these patterns is a form of emotional intelligence that serves you in every area of life. It applies to your romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, and professional interactions. You can't change other people, but you can change how you respond to them.
Here are 6 signs a woman has a deeply problematic personality, according to psychology:
1. She thinks men should always call or text first
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In the earlier stages of a relationship, women tend to wait for men to text first. If you text him “good night,” he has to text you “good morning” first. If not, you won’t even dare initiate a conversation.
And the same goes for phone calls. You called and left a message, and he hasn't responded, so there is no way you're calling again. But these are outdated, fake dating rules. Drop the games: text and call him when your heart desires.
2. She plays games to control the relationship
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“Hi, I've been trying to reach you.” That's what he’s screaming on your voicemail. He's tried reaching you three times and gets nada from your end.
Some women ignore their partner's calls to “keep them on their toes.” Really. I've heard women say this. Again, it’s game playing. Those who choose to play this game are often insecure in their relationship. They ignore calls and make their partner suffer because they fear vulnerability and being dumped.
Research has suggested that while some men may be initially intrigued by a woman's silence, consistent ignoring can lead to negative emotions like anger, doubt, or a sense of being disrespected, ultimately pushing him away. Instead of playing games, open communication and genuine engagement are more likely to foster a positive connection and build a healthy relationship.
3. She pits her family against her partner
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We share a lot with our families, but problematic women see it as second nature to trash-talk their partner to their mama, siblings, and cousins. To vent and get them on your side, you fail to share the good in your relationship.
Eventually, your family will resent your partner. In your family's eyes, you've won the argument. In the end, you’ll lose your relationship.
One study concluded that triangulation is used as a tool to gain power and control over a partner. By creating divisions, the woman makes her partner emotionally dependent on her, as she positions herself as his only true ally.
4. She throws things in her partner's face
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When a problematic woman is angry, everything becomes verbal or emotional ammunition. You load up and shoot, throwing every sweet act in his face. You helped him prep for a job interview? Bang.
You drove him everywhere when his car broke down? Bang. You introduced him to a business contact? Bang, bang, bang.
The thing is, you're supposed to do nice things for your partner because you love him, not to use it as a weapon when angry. This rule is not only detrimental to your relationship, but it also paints you as a vindictive and malicious woman.
Healthy relationships thrive on reciprocity, a mutual exchange of support, care, and compromise. Research has argued that when this balance is uneven, it can lead to one partner feeling used or unloved.
5. She acts like her partner's parent and sets a curfew
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You set a curfew for both you and your man, just like your mom did when you were living under her roof. You feel the bottom line of this is ultimately respect. But why is this actually a no-no?
It can make your partner feel confined, and yes, like a child. If you want to establish respect in your relationship and learn how to get a guy to like you, and even love you genuinely, stop this rule and share your real concerns with him.
One study suggested that this constant micromanagement, criticism, and feeling parented can erode an individual's sense of self and confidence. They may feel incompetent and powerless to make their own decisions.
6. She keeps score
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This is very common, so much so that many women don't see anything wrong with doing it just to spite their partner. If he goes golfing with his pals when you demanded he stay home, you grab your purse and go out with your girls later that night — and you won't tell him where you're going.
You’ll ignore his calls and texts because he deserves to be ignored! A few days later, he does the same to you. Do you see why this is harmful to your relationship?
This can lead to a shift in focus from mutual care and respect to keeping score and punishing each other. Research has explained that a communal approach focuses on what's good for both partners, fostering a cooperative attitude and contributing to sustained satisfaction.
Keeping score is a vicious cycle. It literally never ends. Nip this rule in the bud before your relationship sprouts weeds and meets an untimely end.
Sujeiry Gonzalez is a content creator, web designer, and podcast host.
