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Should she be worried?
By Megan Quinn — Written on Jan 14, 2023
After some time dating, most couples would think of celebrating and embarking on a holiday together. Usually, that means a trip with your significant other — not your significant other and their best friend of the opposite gender.
One woman is seeking advice after her boyfriend informed her that he would be going on an exotic trip and neglected to invite her.
Now she is wondering if she should be worried about their relationship.
The woman’s boyfriend is going on a vacation out of the country with his female best friend.
Sharing her story to the subreddit thread, r/relationships, the 20-year-old woman claimed that she and her 20-year-old boyfriend have been dating for a year.
Recently, her boyfriend revealed the news of an upcoming trip he has planned.
“About a month ago my boyfriend brought up plans to go to his favorite country for a few days to see his favorite band with his female best friend who also likes the said band,” she wrote.
“I thought it was odd that I wasn’t included in the plans but I brushed it off as maybe he just forgot to ask.”
However, when her boyfriend repeatedly brought up the trip indicating that he had no intentions of inviting her, the concerned girlfriend decided to tell him that he was upsetting her.
In response, he “sheepishly” invited the woman on the trip.
While she admits that she does not like the band that her boyfriend and his best friend will be seeing, she wanted to take the opportunity to embark on the trip since they will most likely be doing other activities.
“PLUS this band would have been touring in our country at a later date so I don’t know why he didn’t invite me to his dream holiday and then do the concert with BFF at a later date?” she added.
The woman confessed that she does not want to be a “controlling” and “jealous” girlfriend who forbids her romantic partners from having any other friends, however, she believes that her boyfriend crossed a line by booking the trip and not thinking to invite her until she brought it up.
“I also don’t want him to think he can disrespect relationship boundaries,” she wrote.
She asked other Redditors for alternative decisions as opposed to just breaking up.
Other Reddit users believed that the woman’s worried feelings were valid.
“Dream holiday?” Yeah, don't fool yourself by protecting him with your mind. if you feel as though something is off, listen to your gut,” one user encouraged.
“If my boyfriend did this, he would go on the trip single,” another user shared.
“In these situations, you must ask yourself. Do you believe your boyfriend has the potential and capacity to have friendships with the opposite gender without feeling romantic or sexual attraction? Is this girl really just a “female best friend?” another user commented.
“If so, ask him why he had not invited you. Is this something he just wants to do with her friend alone? If so, why?”
However, others believed that her boyfriend’s behavior was unacceptable and they needed to break up.
“F–k that, get a new boyfriend. If he wanted to invite you he would have. He clearly had no intention of you going,” one user wrote.
“If your BFs dream holiday doesn’t include you… that’s tragic. You deserve better and your BF clearly prefers this 'friend,'” another commented. “You will do much better to be happy and alone, than ‘dating’ and miserable.”
The woman eventually updated Redditors that she and her boyfriend had a discussion about the matter, and he understood where she was coming from and they planned on working on their relationship.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.