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Man Seeks Advice After Girlfriend Demands He Break Promise He Made To Female Best Friend Before She Died

Photo: Vladimir Borovic/Shutterstock
Woman Upset Boyfriend Visits Dead Best Friends Grave

Best friends share a special bond, especially those who have known each other their entire lives. They often do a lot for each other for the sake of their friendship.

But, even in the closest of friendships, others can get in the way and cause bonds to suffer.

One man shared a post on Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A-hole?) thread about how his girlfriend has a problem with him visiting his dead best friend’s grave and insisted that his bond with his late friend be severed.

The man visits his best friend’s grave because he promised her before she died.

The man explained his situation in his post. He mentioned that he has known his best friend since he was little. He wrote, “We even went to the same kindergarten, primary school and middle/high school together.” 

He further explained that the two got married as a joke when they were in high school because all their friends were dating.

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He wrote, “We obviously weren’t okay with that and decided [to] get one up on all of them by getting married. As a joke, I made her a fake ring and she gave me her scrunchie.”  

A while after that, the best friend got into an accident and passed away. However, before she passed away, she made the man promise something.

He wrote, “In the only time I talked to her before she died, she made me promise to always visit her on our ‘wedding anniversary and to wear her scrunchie during the visit.”

The man’s girlfriend got upset at him for visiting his best friend’s grave.

The man had told his girlfriend about his annual tradition and that he is going to keep doing that when they first started dating four years ago.

The woman didn’t seem to have a problem then and thought it was a nice thing for him to do. However, she recently got upset that her boyfriend still visits his dead best friend. 

He wrote, “Before my girlfriend went to work she told me it’s time to put this tradition to rest and move on because it was starting to get pathetic that I still wear a dead girl scrunchie to celebrate a fake marriage that we had 10 years ago.”

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The man was upset by the comments made by his girlfriend as she meant a lot to him. He further explained to her that their relationship was purely platonic.

He wrote, “When I told her that I'll keep honoring my best friend's dying wish even if it made her uncomfortable, she left for work angry at me and hasn't [come] back home yet.”

However, the man thought that he may have been wrong about fulfilling his promise regardless of his girlfriend’s feelings. He then went to Reddit to ask other people for their opinions.

There have been mixed reactions from internet users about the situation.

While most of the people mentioned that the man wasn’t wrong, many people also tried to understand the woman’s stance.

One user wrote, “If she's been fine up until now then maybe she's upset about something else? Like there's been a feeling that the relationship has fallen into complacency, so she's lashed out at a display of you showing something else as being meaningful?”

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However, many users could see that the woman was completely wrong. 

Another user wrote, “Don’t feel bad about honoring your friend how you want to honor her, don’t doubt how you feel at all and if [your] girlfriend can’t understand that, that’s her problem.”

The man also shared that he has been going to therapy for this trauma and does all he can to not make his girlfriend uncomfortable.

He mentioned in the comments section that he doesn’t talk about his best friend much and doesn’t even have any pictures of her.

He also stated that his girlfriend would always come first and if she needed him on the day he visited the grave, he would tend to her.

He wrote, “I understand and accept that she's gone but I just want a few hours a year to keep honoring her wish because it also brings me peace and joy. I've always been transparent with my girlfriend and that's why I snapped when she used those words.”

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Sanika Nalgirkar is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.