Mom Gets Called Out For 'Ignoring' Her Toddler Throwing An IPad After She Explains Why She Chose Not To React
Should you ignore your child's bad behavior?
TikTok When it comes to individual opinions on how a parent should discipline their child, everyone has different beliefs.
Some think a parent should verbally scold their child. Some think they should take privileges away. Others have unique ways of teaching their children a lesson.
These conflicting opinions aren't inherently bad, it's good to disagree sometimes. But when you're sharing your parenting decisions online, beware of inevitable backlash that will come your way.
One mom thinks ignoring her daughter’s behavior when she throws an iPad is the best option.
Victoria Yavnyi, who regularly posts parenting advice on the video-sharing app, shared a video on TikTok showing her response when her toddler threw her iPad.
Her daughter is sitting on a couch in the corner of the video as Yavnyi is sweeping in front of her. In the first few seconds of the video, her daughter throws the iPad on the floor. Yavnyi glances back at it for a second, then continues sweeping.
“I had to give myself a minute to think about how I was going to go about this,” Yavnyi writes on top of the video. “We were both frustrated.”
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The toddler stares at the iPad before Yavnyi goes up to it and picks it up, setting it on the table.
“This is to show that when she throws something I am assuming she no longer wants it,” Yavnyi writes.
Her toddler giggles and walks up to her as she continues cleaning the floor.
“Go get momma the dustpan,” Yavnyi says to her daughter. She writes on the video that she wants to take her child’s mind off the iPad by asking her to help her clean.
“I didn’t want to nurture her throwing, but I wanted to nurture her,” Yavnyi writes on-screen. Her daughter walks off-screen and comes back with a dustpan.
At this point, the loving mom picks up her daughter and hugs her after her daughter requested her to do so.
“At this time she needed comfort,” Yavnyi writes, explaining each of her actions further. “She was dealing with an issue she couldn’t express and this is how we got through it.”
The video documented a situation most parents can relate to — a frustrated toddler and a mom trying to respond to their needs.
However, for some viewers, Yavnyi didn't respond to her child in the way they would have. And that opened the mom up to criticism.
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TikTok users criticized the mom for ignoring her daughter's tantrum.
“I can’t help but think ignoring the issue doesn’t do anything,” one user commented.
“She should’ve at least been told to pick it up and put it away. Consequences to actions are important,” another commented.
“I don’t understand? This isn’t teaching her not to throw it, just that she can throw it when she’s finished?” another wrote.
However, others felt that Vavnyi's response was appropriate, arguing that the mom was practicing an increasingly popular parenting approach — gentle parenting.
“Gentle parenting for the win,” one user wrote.
“Growing up in a household where “gentle parenting” wasn’t a concept, this is so foreign to me… But it’s nice to see that it can and does work,” one user commented.
So, what is gentle parenting?
The Cleveland Clinic defines “gentle parenting” as teaching children lessons without reward and punishment. Despite many commenters thinking that ignoring the toddler’s actions doesn’t teach her anything, evidence suggests that it’s a viable option, especially since Yavnyi stated that her daughter was dealing with an issue, not just throwing the iPad for no reason.
Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, a founder of a private practice focused on child and family therapy, told YourTango in April 2020, "Teach your child to take a break from a situation."
“When time-outs (or taking a break from a situation) is done well, however, a child is able to walk away from the situation at hand that is likely causing frustration or anger,” Dr. Ziegler writes.
Dr. Ziegler also recommends, “Give yourself a break from a potentially explosive situation.”
Since, Yavnyi wrote how she was also frustrated, giving herself a break was the best option.
Parents will continue to have different methods of disciplining their children. Most share the aim of wanting to teach them lessons, so whatever works for their children to reach that common goal should be employed.
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Ethan Cotler is a writer living in Boston. He writes on entertainment and news.