Photo: TikTok
On a day when moms should be celebrated, some mothers are finding it hard to even get out of bed.
By Maddie Haley — Written on May 14, 2023
Mother’s Day is a time for recognizing and celebrating all the mothers and mother figures in our lives. It’s a way of honoring all the sacrifices mothers have made for their children.
For single moms, Mother’s Day can be really hard. You want to be appreciated, and you want all that you do to be celebrated, but you don’t have someone there to see and recognize your commitment to your child. Mother’s Day can be a day that reminds you of something that you feel like you’re missing.
However, there are two really important things to remember: one, even women who are in relationships feel neglected on Mother’s Day, and two, even if it doesn’t seem like your child understands the hard work you put into giving them a great life, I promise you they do. Know that if you are feeling lonely on Mother’s Day, you aren’t alone— many others feel the same and these feelings are completely normal.
One single mom posted a TikTok explaining why she cries every Mother’s Day.
Caroline, a single mom to an 11-year-old son, claims there was only one instance someone did something special for her on Mother’s Day without her having to ask. The man she was dating after her divorce went out of his way one year to make her feel appreciated, but since then, and before then, Caroline claims Mother’s Day has always felt extremely lonely for her.
“It’s incredibly lonely to be a single mom on Mother’s Day, or sometimes even married,” she tells TikTok. “I cry every single time.” Given Caroline’s past experiences, her feelings toward Mother’s Day are understandable. A holiday focused on celebrating mothers can be challenging without a partner to share it with, or with a partner who fails to recognize your hard work.
For that reason, Caroline claims she decided to take the holiday back. “A few years ago I decided to take it back and make great memories with my son,” says Caroline. “So we get super dressed up every year, and I take him to a really fancy restaurant, and I buy him flowers. That way he knows how good it feels to get flowers so hopefully one day he’ll be the partner that buys flowers, and we have a great day!”
By teaching her son about the importance of showing appreciation and love, Caroline is passing on valuable life lessons while creating special memories for the two of them. She is raising her son to be the type of man that will make Mother’s Day feel less lonely for someone else one day, and that is commendable.
“But still deep down I am lonely and depressed because I want to share these moments with somebody,” she explains. “I want somebody else to plan these things, and I know that’s selfish and silly, but I don’t care. I still hate Mother’s Day. Can’t change my mind.”
Other single moms shared that they too feel lonely on Mother's Day.
Rhiannon, a newly single mom, made a TikTok acknowledging that her first Mother’s Day all alone was something she had to prepare herself for.
Another single mother, Nikia, recognized that the holiday may bring up the same feeling of loneliness in others as it does for her, so she made a TikTok to wish single moms a happy Mother’s Day.
“To all the beautiful single mamas out there that won’t wake up to any gifts, flowers, or cards from a partner… I see you,” she writes. “You are doing a great job, you are beautiful, worthy, and appreciated. Happy Mother’s Day.” She explained in her caption that she’d rather enjoy her own company on Mother’s Day than “spend the entire day crying and wondering why [she] wasn’t enough for a man.”
Moms with partners also claimed that the expectations surrounding Mother’s Day have led them to feel dissatisfied.
One user who saw Caroline’s TikTok wrote, “I totally agree! I can’t stand Mother’s Day and I’m married. My hubby doesn’t ever do anything!”
“Yess!! You’re not alone in this,” wrote a second user. “Actually being married was worse because I had expectations that were never filled.”
Another added that seeing the treatment other moms were receiving from significant others on social media made her feel disparaged. “I’m married and I hate Mother’s Day! These holidays can be depressing with social media seeing other moms get things you don’t!”
A concerningly large number of other women claimed that their husband’s excuse for not doing anything special for them on Mother’s Day was ‘you’re not my mom.’
If you are single and feeling lonely on Mother’s Day, remember there are women out there—with partners—who feel alone on the day too. Of course, you want someone to bring you flowers, make you dinner, buy you a gift, and make you feel seen and special. But try not to over-romanticize what you see on social media because you never know what is going on behind closed doors.
Although it can be hard, try not to look at Mother’s Day as a reminder of what you don’t have—which in reality could be a partner letting your expectations down. Instead, look at it as a reminder of what you do have. Give a little extra love to the ones who made you a mother, reflect on all the times your dedication paid off, and treat yourself to something nice because you deserve it.
Maddie Haley is a writer for YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers pop culture, celebrity news, and entertainment.