Woman's Dad Tells Her That His New Wife Feels 'Disrespected' Because She Didn't Get A Mother's Day Card

If her stepmother had a hand in raising her, she says she would be happy to give her a Mother's Day card, but that's not the case.

TikToker bre.niko @bre.niko / TikTok

A woman candidly opened up about why she doesn't feel the need to celebrate Mother's Day with her stepmother.

In a video, TikTok user Bre shared an argument that she and her father were in after he attempted to call her out for not making an effort to include his new wife, her stepmother, in Mother's Day plans. Bre's video ended up sparking a conversation on the role of a stepmother in a child's life that is not biologically their own.


Bre claimed that she doesn't have to give her stepmother a Mother's Day card since she didn't partake in raising her.

"My parents divorced when I was very tiny and had a great co-parenting relationship for over 30 years," Bre began in her video. When she thinks about the people who raised her and molded her into the woman she is today, she gives all that credit to her mom and dad.

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She pointed out that they were the ones who made sure she had something to eat every day, a roof over her head, clothes, and water. Her parents were the ones who helped her with her homework, were there when she started menstruating and bought her period products.


"Teaching me how to drive, coming to take pictures at my formals and proms, applying to colleges. Everything was handled by my mom and dad," Bre acknowledged. Eventually, her dad ended up remarrying when she was in her mid to late-20s.

At that point, Bre explained that she was already an adult and living out of the house with two jobs to pay her bills. "I didn't know her when they got married," she said of her stepmother. "They also got married in secret without telling me, so that's a bonus."

When Mother's Day rolls around every year, Bre pointed out that she prefers to spend that day with her actual mother and not her stepmother, and will buy a gift and Mother's Day card for her. However, it seemed Bre doing that didn't sit well with her father.

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Her father said that his wife felt 'disrespected' by not getting a card.

"A couple [of] years ago I get a phone call from my dad," Bre shared. "He wants to tell me how upset and disrespected his wife feels, how sad she gets because I don't buy her a Mother's Day card."

She continued, saying that just because her stepmother married her father, that she feels the need to be gifted a card on Mother's Day despite having no role in Bre's life or how she was raised. 

"I had to explain to my father [that] she didn't raise me, she married you. We had to have an argument about it and I was getting upset because that day is reserved for my mother who birthed me and raised me."

Bre also clarified that "if you didn't birth your own children but you raised a child from when they were tiny to being an adult," then that would also warrant being celebrated on Mother's Day. "I had a stepdad for 15 years, from the age of 8, if he was still a good human being and still in the picture, he would merit a Father's Day card because he helped partake in raising me."


Even though Bre didn't buy her stepmother a card, she still made sure to buy her a small gift, but that apparently wasn't enough for her.

It is important to recognize that not all blended families are the same, and every individual's relationship with their stepparent is unique. It is understandable that some adults, like Bre, may not feel as though their stepparent is a "real" parent to them or have a close relationship with them, which can be due to a variety of reasons.

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In the comments section, several stepparents offered their own view of the topic.

"Never saw myself as a stepmom. But I have been for 13 yrs. I’m a friend. I’ll be there. But I’m not the mother. He remembers my bday and that’s nice!" one TikTok user shared.


Another user added, "I have been a stepmom to a Stepson for 32 years. We have a fantastic relationship but he has his own Mum. I don’t get a card and I’m not complaining!"

"I think it’s situational. I get yours for sure. I do the same - I was a whole grown person when my dad remarried," a third user wrote. "But I always get my kids' stepmom one because she’s been around since the youngest was three and she helps raise them and loves them."

The decision to view a stepparent as a real parent is a personal one, and it's okay if an adult doesn't feel that way. The most important thing is to maintain respect and positive relationships within the blended family.


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Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.