Wedding Planner Explains How Much Guests Should Be Spending On Gifts For A Newlywed Couple
She assured potential wedding guests that they shouldn't feel the need to break their budgets to buy an extravagant gift.
Gorodenkoff / Shutterstock Weddings have become quite an extravagant affair, and as more and more couples tend to spend upwards of tens of thousands of dollars on the ceremony, it then comes with the unspoken expectation that guests reach deeper into their pockets for gifts.
However, a wedding planner has advised against this practice and explained the correct cost of gifts.
She broke down how much wedding guests should be spending on gifts for a newlywed couple.
In a TikTok video, a wedding planner named Melissa Andre stitched a video of another creator who questioned what wedding guests are gifting couples nowadays. Andre explained that after 15 years as an event planner living in Los Angeles, this was one of the most frequent questions she gets asked.
"I have some potentially unpopular opinions about this. First thing you're gonna think about is your financial position, always," Andre advised. "The next thing is gonna be how close you are to the couple."
She pointed out that she has a twin brother, and if he were getting married, she'd put more thought behind the wedding gift and would most likely spend more than if she were attending a wedding for an acquaintance or someone she didn't know as well.
According to data from The Knot, a wedding planning website, guests usually spend an average of $50 to $100 on gifts for a newlywed couple.
"You're gonna give whatever you can," Andre told viewers. "The couple getting married shouldn't have an expectation of your gift and they shouldn't be making plans with the money they haven't even received yet. As a guest, you're there to witness the couple's love and celebrate with them."
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Andre said there was nothing worse than hearing a couple talk about recouping the cost of their wedding from their guests and the gifts they would be getting at the ceremony. She pointed out that this type of expectation was such an awful way to look at the people attending your wedding and wanting to celebrate a special day with you.
The guests at a wedding aren't there to fund the honeymoon or to pay off outstanding debts from the wedding vendor, Andre noted.
"You know what it is? It's making plans with other people's money. It's no one's place to decide what anyone does with their money," she continued. "I heard someone on this app kind of describe your wedding guests like a restaurant patron, and they were like, you pay for your meal when you go to a restaurant, what's the difference?"
Andre insisted that wedding guests are not equivalent to a restaurant patron. They didn't choose the menu, they didn't choose the location, and they didn't choose the date. Nothing about the wedding was in their control, they're only there to celebrate you.
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A beautiful wedding can be done on a budget, and couples shouldn't feel the need to go above and beyond just to prove a point or make a statement. A wedding can be a joyous occasion just being with your family, friends, and loved ones.
"I also compared weddings to hosting," Andre said. "If you were to invite someone over, you would never say, 'Hey, I'm making this for dinner, and by the way, this is what I expect you to give me.'"
As a wedding guest, if you can only afford to gift a couple a heartwarming and loving handwritten card or note, then that should be just as appreciated as gifting a couple something expensive and extravagant.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.