Women Are Lucky If They Marry A Man Who Consistently Does These 11 Things
novak.elcic | Shutterstock Even if we often set goals around money, personal growth, beauty, and belongings, the thing that truly cultivates joy in our lives is the relationships we share with others, at least according to a Harvard University study. Whether it’s platonic relationships with friends and peers, family connections, or romantic relationships, we experience the most happiness and joy from the people we choose to keep around in our lives.
Of course, choosing the right people to surround yourself with isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to romance, but women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things. Whether it’s being emotionally supportive or picking up the slack on hard days, it’s these small gestures and behaviors that ensure the relationship is a pillar of joy, rather than one of fear, anxiety, or stress.
Women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these 11 things:
1. He listens intentionally
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Rather than trying to “fix” all of their problems with unsolicited advice or getting defensive during hard conversations, the best husbands listen intentionally, with the goal to support their partners, not judge them. According to psychology expert Cara Gardenswartz, active listening is how partners develop strong communication habits — it’s the key to keeping their connection healthy.
Women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things, especially considering they’re often held to unrealistic gendered stereotypes that push them away from emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Men are socialized to be protectors and providers from a young age, so to simply listen, without trying to fix their partners' struggles, is really a superpower.
2. He keeps his promises
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Even if it’s not always convenient to keep his commitments or to follow through on promises, a great husband consistently does them. He cares more about nurturing trust in his marriage through small, reliable gestures than he does about appeasing his friends or seeking out instant gratification.
It’s this ability to depend on each other and trust that your partner will show up that truly cultivates a healthy partnership. Without this underlying trust, everything falters, from communication to intimacy.
3. He’s respectful, even when upset
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Navigating hard conversations and treating your partner with respect, even when things get tense and emotional, is what feeds into healthy conflict resolution skills. These are the skills that keep couples together forever — that protect their individual health and well-being, while also building trust and safety in the relationship.
Their ability to take a step back, see the bigger picture, and tap into mindfulness to regulate their own emotions is the key to healthily resolving conflicts and having good arguments, at least according to a study from the Current Issues in Personality Psychology journal. Women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things, because not only is defensiveness and avoidance bad for the relationship, it’s incredibly draining for partners to endure.
4. He apologizes genuinely
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According to a study from the Personality and Individual Differences journal, self-esteem usually predicts a person’s tendency to apologize in a healthy way. The more secure a person is in their own identity, the more likely they are to take accountability and apologize for the sake of forgiveness in a relationship.
That’s why women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things. If often takes a lot of effort and consistency to form that personal level of self-esteem, and if he already has it, entering the relationship, everything — from resolving conflict to building a future together — will be that much easier.
Forgiveness is the key to decreasing tension, resentment, and anger, but if you don’t have a partner who’s willing to put their ego aside to apologize, you’ll live with the tension they cause every single day.
5. He speaks openly about his emotions
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Many men are socialized from a young age to suppress their emotions and hide from vulnerability to seem “stronger” or “more masculine.” However, women who marry men willing to tap into their emotions and talk about them openly are lucky — and their relationships benefit from this vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not only a strength for men and their mental health, but it’s a necessary part of healthy relationships. From talking through relationship concerns openly to asking for help when they’re emotionally struggling, it’s these men who are building truly joyous, happy, and healthy relationships with the women in their lives — not the ones running from and suppressing their feelings.
6. He picks up the slack on hard days
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Considering women tend to bear the burden of most household and emotional labor in their relationships with men, according to a study from the Pew Research Center, it’s refreshing to see a husband pick up the slack.
Whether that’s being intentional about balancing work and responsibilities at home, rather than making assumptions from gendered stereotypes, or simply picking up the slack on hard days, these are the men that lucky women marry.
Even if it’s just doing a chore she normally takes care of when he notices she’s had a long day, it’s these small gestures and intentional actions that cultivate intimate, close relationships.
7. He celebrates his partner’s success
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According to relationship experts Linda and Charlie Bloom, the couples who celebrate each other the most and have a lot of enthusiasm for empowering each other often also have the least amount of conflict. They don’t let their jealousy turn into resentment. When their partners achieve something they don’t have, they put their ego aside to make them feel important and loved.
Women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things, even if it’s a rare trait to find, in any kind of relationship.
8. He stays curious
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The more curious partners are in their relationship, the more satisfied, happy, and fulfilled they usually are, according to a study from the Emotion journal. Whether that’s experimenting with new routines or being curious about learning new things about their partner, women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things.
Clearly, he’s not afraid to step outside of his comfort zone for the sake of bonding with his partner, and that kind of self-security and assuredness goes a long way.
9. He takes initiative
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Whether it’s replacing household items, solving problems, or planning dates ahead of time, women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently does these things. Many women get stuck in a strange “mother” role with their immature male partners, where they feel like a parent nagging and reminding their husbands to do the bare minimum.
But these women are always caught off guard by how intentional, prepared, and thoughtful their husbands are, even if it’s simple gestures and small, kind actions.
10. He makes decisions with his partner in mind
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Women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently keeps them in the back of their minds. Whether it’s planning for the future together or making decisions on his own with her in mind, he’s always intentional about supporting and loving her — even from afar.
While some men might adopt an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality in their marriages, urging them to betray trust and make poor decisions, these husbands are always thinking about how their habits and behaviors feed back into their most important relationship back home.
11. He’s willing to grow
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Whether it’s learning from his mistakes to become a better husband or simply investing in personal health and well-being, women are lucky if they marry a man who consistently works on himself. Closeness and togetherness are both important in romantic relationships, but sometimes, individuality and personal ambitions are equally essential.
If a husband’s willing to work on himself without being pleaded with by his partner, chances are he’s going to continue to show up as the best version of himself in the relationship. From boosting excitement to feeding into intimacy, it’s this kind of personal growth, according to psychology professor David Ludden, that makes relationships better.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
