Women In Healthy Relationships Rarely Have To Ask For 7 Basic Things
Andrii Nekrasov / Shutterstock I’ve been going through a really hard breakup this past month. I was with my boyfriend for years, but in the end, I knew the relationship wasn’t worth it. It wasn't healthy. There were boundaries crossed and lots of fights. I didn’t see a future with him because being in an unhappy relationship is the last thing I want.
When you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't value you the way you should be valued, you often find yourself having to ask for things that should really just be a given. In those situations, it’s easy to become burned out trying to make things work. Women who are in truly healthy relationships, on the other hand, know that they can depend on the person they're with to meet their needs and treat them with respect without ever having to ask.
When a woman is in a healthy relationship, she'll rarely have to ask for these basic things
1. Quality time
Martin Dimitrov from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Finding free time for yourself can be hard when you're balancing all kinds of demands. Finding times when both you and your partner are free can be even harder. When you do manage to find that time, it’s important to take advantage of it.
People in healthy relationships make the effort to spend time together. A woman in this kind of relationship won’t have to ask her man to make time for her. She knows he expects to spend time with her too, because they both genuinely enjoy being together.
They also don’t simply spend time in the same vicinity. They make sure they’re spending quality time together and making the most of it, talking to each other and learning about each other's days or new ideas.
2. Support of her dreams
I’ve dreamed of living in a big city like Rome or New York my entire life. I was never secretive about it. Everyone around me knew it was my plan, including my boyfriend. I guess he always thought I’d change my mind because when the time came to make that dream a reality, he didn’t want to go. He would have been unhappy in those places, so I can’t blame him. Still, in a healthy relationship, each person respects the other's dreams.
Men who know your dreams but are unable to support them should probably end the relationship themselves. It’s not fair for him to keep you in a relationship he knows will keep you from accomplishing your goals. Healthy relationships work off of aligned interests, and if someone isn’t interested in your dreams, he’s probably not the right fit for you.
3. Reasonable resolutions to fights
The most frustrating thing I experienced with my ex was how he handled conflict. He would do something that frustrated me and then wonder why I was upset. Eventually, he would start to get frustrated too. Whenever he got too angry, he would just end the argument. Sometimes this meant he hung up the phone while I was mid-sentence. Other times, he walked out of the room and avoided me until everything calmed down. This usually just made me angrier and more resentful. It sent us into a downward spiral, making us even more toxic to each other.
Couples in healthy relationships don’t avoid conflict. They embrace it because they know it’s necessary to create a satisfying relationship. When couples respond poorly to conflict, they're likely to become unhappy with each other. Healthy couples work on these skills and try to resolve arguments respectfully and head-on.
4. Help with chores
Jevtic from Getty Images via Canva
Household chores aren’t always the biggest things on our to-do lists. Sometimes I put them off because I’m too busy to handle them at the moment. Still, no one wants to live in an unkempt space.
When you're really stressed out and realize you have to do chores, it can feel overwhelming. Good partners try not to let the person they love get stuck having to handle everything. They do their best to split chores equally to avoid one partner feeling exhausted.
Both people benefit from household chores when a couple lives together. Some men still assume women should do these chores without realizing how unfair that is. A woman shouldn’t have to be her boyfriend’s maid. If a man treats you this way, he’s probably not going to be considerate in many other areas as well.
5. Loyalty
Loyalty is one of those things that is expected when you start dating someone. Most people get into a relationship to be with that one person who makes them excited. Putting a label on a relationship is basically like saying you don’t want anyone else to be with that person and you don't want to be with anyone else either.
When a relationship has these expectations, loyalty is obviously important. Without loyalty, one partner may feel betrayed or insecure. They might wonder why their partner didn’t find them worth being loyal to.
No healthy relationship makes someone feel this way. Disloyalty doesn’t only ruin a relationship. It could ruin a woman’s trust in all men for a long time.
6. Romantic gestures
Most women want a little bit of romance in their lives. That’s one of the reasons people get into relationships in the first place. It makes you feel special when someone is putting effort into making you feel appreciated.
Being romantic doesn’t always need to be a grand gesture. Instead of a fancy dinner, a man could cook his wife's favorite meal at home and light a few candles. He could also bring her a bouquet, because what woman doesn’t love flowers? Any of these things could make a woman’s day. Men who make good partners want to make their women feel appreciated. They don’t need to be asked to do romantic gestures. They're delighted by the look on her face when they surprise their partner with them instead.
7. Alone time
aywan88 from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Some women feel they need to be everyone’s caretaker, especially men's. This isn’t because men and women are physically different. Many women have been conditioned to feel pressured to support the people around them emotionally. This can lead many women to sacrifice their alone time to care for the people around them.
We all need alone time. If a woman has a boyfriend or husband who doesn’t make an effort to give her time alone, he's probably not a good partner.
Some men struggle with this because they need their partner to support them. They shouldn’t prioritize their needs over their partner, though. Good relationships are a give-and-take.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
