A Wife Who Is So Tired Of Doing Everything For Her Husband Usually Says These 11 Things All The Time
She's exhausted, fed up, and sick of holding it all in.
Just Life | Shutterstock The average wife puts in an unbelievable amount of effort to ensure her marriage thrives. From cooking every day after work to planning surprise outings, a woman who's truly in love isn't afraid to go all out for her husband. But between daily responsibilities and invisible emotional labor, after a while she can feel unappreciated, and it shows in the way she speaks. Whether it's saying she's not a maid or feeling like a roommate, a wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually says these things all the time.
While many men claim not to understand women, most women will tell men exactly how they feel when they're at the end of their rope. It can range from subtle to pretty obvious, but when those concerns go ignored, it can lead to resentment. So, while some husbands may brush off their wives' feelings, men who want a long-lasting marriage will do everything in their power to fix things once they know something is wrong.
A wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually says these 11 things all the time
1. 'Do I have to do everything myself?'
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Most women who are tired feel like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. With barely any time to rest, an exhausted wife feels like she has to take care of all the responsibilities in her home, and will state it outright. She's not trying to nag her husband, but after a long day, all she wants is a hot shower and a comfortable bed.
Unfortunately, some men might not notice how exhausted their wives are, leading to them slacking off as they wrongfully assume she's got it handled. As most can imagine, this mentality then leads to contempt, which, according to psychology expert Ellie Lisitsa, is the number one predictor of divorce.
2. 'You never notice what I do'
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No woman wants to feel invisible to her own husband. No matter how nonchalant she may act, a wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband will let him know how little he notices. She isn't trying to complain or annoy him, but she's struggling and could really use some help.
Even if she's too mad or proud to say it in the moment, doing the simple things like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, meal prepping, or helping the kids with homework means the world to her. And when she says this phrase, what she really means is that he isn't showing any appreciation for her hard work.
3. 'It'd be faster if I just did it myself'
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Whether it's moving too slowly when washing dishes or doing something she perceives as incorrect, a wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually says "It'd be faster if I just did it myself" all the time. She's not trying to be difficult or argumentative, but she's resentful and has gotten used to handling her business all on her own.
While many may applaud her for being an independent woman, if she isn't feeling like she's getting her needs met, her marriage will suffer. As licensed psychologist Jonice Webb explained, "Emotional attunement not only prevents emotional neglect but also heals it. It's the glue that connects you to others, others to you, and you to yourself." Without it, a marriage can only last for so long.
4. 'You always get to relax. When do I?'
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In an ideal marriage, both partners put an equal amount of work into making one another happy. Whether it's cleaning the home or being in charge of grocery shopping, helping one another out is one of the biggest ways to tell if a marriage is going to work out. But when a wife handles it all and feels resentful of her husband, she will say this phrase.
Many women feel completely burned out in their day-to-day lives. Men don't realize it, but women do so much more than sit at desks and cook. From scheduling appointments to making holidays magical for the kids, women work around the clock.
Rather than argue with her, husbands should meet her halfway and listen. Validate how she feels and write down different ways you can show up as a partner. It sounds exhausting, but putting in effort is the only way to make a marriage work.
5. 'I shouldn't have to ask'
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One of the biggest arguments couples have almost always leads back to responsibilities. From paying bills to cleaning floors, women grow frustrated if they feel less like a lover and more like a mother. And when a wife is tired of it, she will tell her husband that she shouldn't have to ask him to do certain things.
After being together for years, men should know what's expected of them. If they see the trash is full or there are dishes in the sink, their first thought should be to take initiative and handle it. Unfortunately, many husbands wait until the last minute, frustrating their wives.
But according to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, "After arguing, couples should hang out together, hug, and avoid creating too much space. This helps reconnection and disperses pain faster."
6. 'You always say that, but you never help'
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While a lot of men are clueless as to why their wives are tired, some do understand. From validating her feelings to promising to do better, these husbands make an effort. But it takes a lot more than words to make a woman feel validated.
As much as men may think they're being helpful, if their actions don't match their intentions, they should expect women to grow more frustrated. She doesn't want to hear a man's words; rather, only through his actions will she truly feel seen. Yet, if she tries to express herself and is met with unfulfilled promises, there's only so much she can take before she begins to step away from the relationship.
7. 'I can't keep doing this'
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A woman will move mountains to see the man she loves smile; however, a wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband will admit she can't keep going on this way. After trying for years to create a healthy dynamic, she's at her wits' end. With no help, hope, or change, she's letting her husband know that if he doesn't do something, she's leaving.
Of course, this won't happen overnight. But men might want to right their wrongs before it's too late. As marriage and family therapist Stephen J. Betchen explained, once a woman loses her feelings and attraction to a man, there's a slim chance she'll come back.
8. 'I can't remember the last time you did something nice for me'
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A wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually points out that she doesn't remember the last time he did something nice for her. Because in the same way men want to be loved and appreciated, so do women.
It doesn't have to be complicated. Flowers from the grocery store once a month, 70% dark chocolate when she's in a bad mood, a clean home, and takeout on those especially hard nights are exactly what a woman needs to feel content and happy. Still, many men overcomplicate it by wrongfully assuming they need to spend hundreds of dollars to make their wives happy.
9. 'I'm not a maid'
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Husbands have heard their wives utter this phrase at some point in their marriage. When she's especially fed up and tired, she might throw this line in her husband's face as a way to say, "Get your act together and clean up." But if she's using this phrase all the time, it might be a sign that she's tired of picking up the slack and expects more.
From being taken for granted to holding all the responsibilities on her shoulders, it's exhausting for a woman to feel weighed down and not have her man's support. Even if he's tired, it's important for husbands to help out. Remember: chores aren't just washing dishes.
According to licensed mental health counselor Stephanie Cox, "Sharing responsibility extends past the concrete tangible tasks of laundry, dishes, and lunches. It is anything that requires some sort of mental load."
10. 'You don't appreciate me'
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There are only so many ways a woman can tell a man she's tired and feeling unloved. While some might say it upfront, a wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually says she doesn't feel appreciated. Because there's a huge difference between feeling appreciation and showing it.
But just because she feels this way doesn't mean it can't be fixed. According to licensed clinical and forensic psychologist Samantha Stein, there are two ways to express gratitude: say it outright, or do something specific for them. Whether that's thanking her for everything she does or drawing a bubble bath for her, it's the small things that have a huge impact.
11. 'I feel like your roommate, not your wife'
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A wife who is so tired of doing everything for her husband usually says she feels like a roommate, not a spouse. She isn't trying to bring the mood down by saying this, she's just indicating that there's too much stress and not enough balance. Whether it's reminding her husband to do the bare minimum, or her husband never putting in effort, she's simply exhausted.
While each partner has their not-so-great moments, it's important to change course. They could sit around and wait for change to happen but, as most husbands know, the amount of effort they put in greatly affects the relationship.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
