If A Wife Starts Sleeping Better Alone, She Usually Has These 11 Reasons
Sleeping alone allows her to have more than just a restful night's sleep.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock While there's nothing more comforting than being able to sleep next to your spouse every single night, there's something even better about having some nights where you're sleeping alone. Even the most loving relationships come with a few interruptions that can leave you feeling even more tired in the morning. From having your partner toss and turn, obnoxious snoring, and even staying up late to read a book or watch TV, if a wife starts sleeping better alone, she usually has these reasons.
When a woman decides that she would rather sleep alone, it doesn't always have to do with being fed-up with her partner or no longer wanting to feel connected to him. For many women, being able to sleep alone has more to do with being able to create a space where she can actually get some rest and come back to herself. There's also a certain level of peace that she's able to get from sleeping alone as well, and once she gets that, it becomes more of a norm than sharing a bed with her significant other.
If a wife starts sleeping better alone, she usually has these 11 reasons
1. She feels more independent
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Sharing a bed with your spouse can do wonders to feel close to them, but it sometimes means having to really adjust and accommodate how they're sleeping. By sleeping alone, it gives her the chance to be able to fully reclaim control over her own sleeping environment without having to think about anyone else.
Interestingly enough, according to a survey from Naturepedic, an estimated 44% of couples say sharing a bed with their partners has made them wonder if this relationship can work. But by being able to be alone in the bed, she can take up as much space as she wants, move around as often as she'd like to get comfortable, and even have the temperature of the room to any degree that makes her feel comfortable.
When she's sleeping solo, everything is exactly the way it needs to be for her to feel well-rested in the morning.
2. She can wake up naturally
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Without sleeping next to her partner, a woman is free to wake up at any hour of the day she chooses. She can take as much time as she wants getting out of bed because there's no one there to disrupt that time.
She doesn't have to rush out of bed to accommodate her partner's routine or feel guilty about staying burrowed under the covers for a little longer. She can watch TV, use her phone for as long as she wants, or even just cuddle up with a good book to get a productive start to her morning.
The world truly is her oyster in that moment, and that's probably why she's choosing to sleep alone now more than ever. She's able to relax at her own leisurely pace and take back control over the time that she has in the morning to do whatever she wants from the bed.
3. She's experiencing less stress
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If a wife starts sleeping better alone, she usually has less stress as a result. Because sometimes, sharing a bed with your spouse can end up adding to a woman's stress levels rather than taking away from it.
It's usually the small things that he might do which are disrupting her own sleeping patterns, and when she's actually sleeping alone, is she able to finally enjoy her rest. She doesn't have to constantly adjust her body to someone else's movements or curl up in these awkward positions to avoid bumping body parts.
"When one partner sleeps better than the other, it's important to talk openly and find compromises. This might mean taking turns in different beds or improving the sleeping setup," licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Shelby Harris pointed out.
The absence of her partner means she's avoiding these unnecessary stressors and being able to have more of a restorative sleep. She isn't waking up in the morning with aching joints because she was laying half-on the bed, or developing a weird pain in her neck because she was angled weirdly on her pillow to avoid being too close in her partner's space.
4. She's breaking the habit of compromise
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According to survey data from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, nearly one-third (31%) of adults have opted for what has been called a "sleep divorce," or sleeping in another bed in the same bedroom or in another space in their home to accommodate their partner's sleeping habits.
For women, one of the main reasons that they might be participating is because she's simply trying to break the habit of always compromising her own sleep for her partner. When she's sleeping alone, she doesn't have to be aware of how much of the comforter she's using or how many pillows are all on her side.
She's able to move and sleep with the freedom she wants rather than making all of these decisions to prioritize her partner. In the same way that she's reclaiming her independence, she's also learning more about her own needs and preferences, even if it's in the smallest way possible, like her own sleeping patterns and habits.
5. She can listen to her favorite sounds
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By being able to sleep alone, she's finally able to put whatever sound she wants on to drift off into a blissful rest. Gone are the days where she had to be aware of her partner sleeping next to her and the fact that they might like a completely quiet room to sleep in. She might have been forced to put in headphones, which, despite her favorite sounds coming through the earbuds, ends up disrupting her sleep more than if she were just able to play it out loud.
Whether it's white noise, the sounds of the ocean, or rain falling, sleeping alone means she's able to play them without restriction to get a restful sleep. She gets to create this little sanctuary for herself each night, and it slowly ends up becoming a little ritual that she looks forward to every single day.
Once she gets back home, she's eager to go to sleep because it means being able to indulge in this oasis that she's cultivated without having to worry about how her partner is sleeping because of all of the noise.
6. She can sleep after arguments
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There's nothing worse than having a fight or some sort of conflict with your partner right before bed. It throws off your sleep schedule because you most likely can't even fall asleep due to all of the thoughts racing through your brain and even the anger that might be flowing through your body.
When a wife is choosing to sleep alone, it may be for the simple fact that she actually wants to have a bit of rest rather than staying up all night worrying about the conflict that she's just gotten into with her spouse. Also, fighting before bed just isn't good at all, but sometimes there just isn't any way to avoid it.
As explained by sleep science coach Rosie Osmun, "When you introduce conflict right before bed, you're essentially working against that process as stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin kick in, making it harder to fall asleep and reducing the quality of rapid eye movement (REM) cycles that restore emotional balance."
7. She can sleep in perfect darkness
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Similar to being able to listen to her favorite sounds, sleeping alone allows women the luxury of also being able to sleep in pitch black. This is especially nice for women who have partners that need a bit of light on when they're falling asleep.
Whether it's leaving a little light illuminated or having the TV on, even if the sound is off, sometimes women who enjoy sleeping in perfect darkness just aren't able to get the rest they need because they're being disturbed by whatever light their partner needs to fall asleep. Also, if their partner is someone who enjoys reading before bed, that can be especially frustrating for women who are trying to sleep with the little lamp on the bedside table still on.
So, to combat this, they enjoy being able to sleep solo because it means drawing the curtains tight and turning off every single light in the room so that they're shrouded in the darkness they need to fall asleep blissfully.
8. She's less likely to overthink
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If a wife starts sleeping better alone, she usually has less of a chance of overthinking things. Sleeping next to your spouse sometimes means having a harder time quieting your mind because you're on high alert with all of the small noises they might make. By being able to just have the bed to herself, she no longer has to give her mental space and energy to these distractions.
When she's alone, it means her brain is finally able to relax. It's the total silence and knowing that she's about to have a whole night of completely undisturbed sleep. Being able to sleep without overthinking also helps with finally getting a good enough rest. She's able to wake up feeling clear-headed and better equipped to handle the day in front of her, rather than feeling exhausted and cloudy from all of the effects from the previous night.
And, truly, there's nothing worse than getting bad sleep, even for your health. Because people who aren't getting enough sleep are 10 times more likely to have depression and 17 times more likely to have anxiety than the general population.
9. She can sleep in peace while she's sick
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There's nothing worse than being sick and trying to fall asleep beside your partner. You're aware of every sniffle, cough, and movement to try and get comfortable because you don't want to disturb them, but you also want to get comfortable in the midst of feeling ill. Don't even think about having to jump out of bed and run to the bathroom if you're suddenly feeling nauseous, especially if your partner is a light sleeper and can hear you.
That's why some women choose to just sleep alone when they're not feeling good. That way, they can do all of these things without worrying about if they're being too loud for their partner. And on top of that, they can be sick in the bed alone and not worry about transferring that sickness to the other person either.
10. She can keep comforting items close
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There's just something extremely cozy about sleeping next to the little things that bring you comfort. It could be a stuffed animal or a favorite blanket, but sometimes people need those things just to feel well-rested. And if a wife starts sleeping better alone, she usually has these reasons.
A survey commissioned by Build-A-Bear even found that more than half of people held on to a childhood stuffed animal, and about 40% said they sleep with a plush toy. So, when a woman is choosing to sleep alone, it might mean that she just wants to have the extra room to cuddle her teddy bear or place her favorite long pillow around her to feel more comfortable.
She can sprawl across the bed in whatever position with these comforting things around her and not worry that she's making her spouse struggle to fall asleep because there's no room left for him.
11. She's gaining a sense of freedom
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Sleeping alone allows women to feel at peace and free in a way that's sometimes unachievable when they're sleeping with their partner. It doesn't mean she loves him any less, but she simply wants to be able to enjoy her own solitude.
Maybe for the first time in a while, she's not having to adjust herself around someone else's patterns. She can decide what feels good for her own body and mind, and that sense of freedom can feel quite empowering.
When she finally gets a taste of that, it can be hard to go back to sleeping next to her spouse. That's why she prioritizes these solo nights, and even looks forward to it. It helps her not only feel more well-rested, but also more centered with herself, so when she wakes up that next morning, she's feeling even more ready to tackle the day and everything that will come with it.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
