11 Things A Wife Says When She Blames Her Husband For Everything Bad In Her Life
Some wives find it a bit too easy to place the blame on their husbands.
NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock Relationships aren't easy. No one enters a marriage with the intention of divorce. Ups and downs are to be expected, but when one partner blames the other for everything bad in their life, it can be a disaster. Constant arguments, difficulty getting through each day, and never knowing what could be the last straw looming over married couples, and when a wife blames her husband for everything bad in her life, she will often say things that make matters even worse.
It can be easy to place the blame on anyone but ourselves. Some people may not want to look in the mirror and come to terms with their role in the situation they’re in, while others may genuinely feel that their spouse is causing them all the pain they feel. Regardless of the reasons, refusing to take accountability and placing all of the blame on the other party rarely works out well for anyone.
These are 11 things a wife says when she blames her husband for everything bad in her life
1. ‘This is all your fault’
Rido
Of course, when a woman blames her husband for everything going wrong in her life, the first phrase to come to mind is ‘this is all your fault.’ When she says this, she is telling her partner exactly how she feels about him. It’s so much easier for her to point the finger at anyone else but herself.
It’s a defense mechanism for most women. There are many reasons why she may place the blame on her husband, but she is doing it to protect her own feelings and ego at the end of the day. She’ll use this phrase to make her husband feel bad for his actions, no matter what his intentions are.
2. ‘You never listen’
Milos Dimic from Getty Images Signature
When one partner feels like the other is never listening to them, it’s common for them to use that as a reason to blame the other for everything that makes them unhappy in their lives. Everyone wants to be heard, especially in a relationship, and when a woman blames her husband for everything bad in her life, it can come back to his lack of listening skills.
Whether or not he feels as if he is listening to her well, if she doesn’t think he is, she will certainly let him know. This can put the couple in a cycle of unhappiness. One person may shut down after being told they never listen, making the other partner feel unheard, which is precisely what they want: acknowledgement of what they say.
3. ‘If you listened to me, none of this would have happened’
SolStock from Getty Images Signature
Sometimes, it can be difficult for a woman to come to terms with the decisions her partner makes. She may be in his ear often, telling him exactly what she thinks he should do. When he can’t deliver that to her, she will lash out, often making comments like, "If you listened to me, none of this would have happened."
This can be a manipulation tactic. The wife may believe she always has all the answers and will shut down when her husband doesn’t listen to her advice. She can use this comment as a form of gaslighting. When he fails to do what she says, she may use this as an opportunity to blame him for her unhappiness with her life.
4. ‘You never support me’
studioroman
When a wife doesn’t feel supported in her relationship, she will be sure to let her husband know. Maybe she feels like she doesn’t get enough of a break from the children, or she feels overworked and underappreciated. Let’s face it, men are not always the best at showing their support and appreciation to their wives.
If she is not feeling supported in her daily life, it will be easy for her to place the blame for all of her unhappiness on her husband. It’s not unfair for her to ask for support from her partner. However, sometimes she can use his lack of support as an explanation for everything she feels is wrong in her life.
5. ‘You’re the reason I’m so unhappy’
pixelshot
In a marriage that feels like it is going south, it is easy for one spouse to blame the other for their unhappiness. It’s not uncommon for people to look to their partner for all their happiness. However, it’s not healthy, and can be used as an excuse to explain away all the issues they may have within themselves.
It's unfair to blame your spouse for everything that makes you unhappy. "To really be happy in your relationship, you need to turn to yourself — not your partner,” Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., stated. “I know this is hard because we all have been conditioned to think that another person is supposed to make us happy. So many of us have been duped into thinking that if he just changed this one thing, or if she could just get a grip about (fill in the blank), then we would finally be happy.”
6. ‘You don’t understand me’
Syda Productions
It can be challenging for a spouse to fully understand their partner every day of their lives together. When one partner feels misunderstood by the other, it can be a sign of disconnection in the relationship. When a wife feels the need to blame her husband for everything bad in her life, telling him he doesn’t understand her is an easy way to point the finger at him.
Feeling understood is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When that aspect is missing, it can cause a serious rift in the partnership. If a woman is feeling truly unhappy in her marriage, she may use her husband’s lack of understanding as a way to blame him for everything bad in her life.
7. “You’re only using me’
Syda Productions
It’s devastating to feel like the emotional connection of a relationship has fizzled out. Relationship struggles make it easy for one or both partners to feel unloved. When that feeling of love disappears, a partner may feel the other is using them, staying with them only out of convenience.
Marriages based on convenience can be challenging to manage. If a wife feels that her husband is only staying with her as a means to an end, it can take a major toll on her emotional health. She could end up blaming her husband for everything bad in her life.
8. ‘I’m always the bad guy’
Keira Burton from Pexels
When a woman is unhappy with her husband, it can be easy for her to place the blame on her husband for everything bad in her life. When he pushes back and shares his disappointment in her actions, she may play the victim and say she is always the bad guy.
Wives like this have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong. If she feels her husband is calling her out on her behavior, she will shut down. She will flip the script and accuse him of making her out to be the bad guy.
9. ‘You never do anything right’
Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
When someone is upset, it’s easy for them to throw out the phrase, "You never do anything right." I know I have been on the receiving end of that statement when someone is riled up in the heat of the moment. For a wife who blames her spouse for everything bad in her life, she will always see faults in his actions.
Any minor inconvenience or behavior she doesn’t like can make a wife point the finger at her husband. She will have no problem letting him know that he never lives up to her expectations. She will have high expectations that are hard to live up to, and as a result, she will constantly find that he never does anything right.
10. ‘You are so disappointing’
Wavebreak from Getty Images Signature
This is a tough one for a partner to hear. When a spouse places unreasonable expectations on the other, they only feel disappointment. It can be difficult to navigate these unmet needs. However, it can be an easy way for a wife to use her husband as a scapegoat for her feelings.
A woman may be looking for her husband to say and do everything she wants. Whether she’s looking for validation, affection, or other needs met, she will not be able to hide her disappointment when something doesn’t go her way. She will always find a way to blame her partner for everything bad in her life.
11. ‘I wish you were more like [someone else]’
Timur Weber from Pexels
This doesn’t always mean what it seems on the surface. Sure, a wife could be genuinely wishing her husband were a different person altogether. Maybe she has feelings for someone else. However, she could use this phrase to tell a deeper story: she wishes her husband would change to meet her expectations.
When her husband doesn’t give her everything she needs, a wife who blames her husband for everything wishes his personality was something different entirely. She’ll want more from him than he is able to give.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
