Where To Go On A Date, Based On Your Partner's Personality Type

The right place will make all the difference in rekindling the flame.

man and woman kayaking together George Rudy / Shutterstock

It's easy to get stuck in a dating rut. When you first started going out as a couple, you likely went on a variety of dates, trying out new places in town, and exploring each other's interests.

But when you've been together for a while — and maybe with a kid or two — dating seems like a foreign concept. A night out might be pizza and wings, a movie, or the same steak dinner at a local restaurant. Then one night, you look across the table at each other and wonder how you got to this place.


You might have some fun date ideas you'd love to go on with your partner, but do you know what they would give anything to do?

Couples who try to understand each other do better at sustaining intimacy. So, if you want to create a closer bond, take a step back from your situation, see your partner with fresh eyes, and get to know each other's personality types.

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Determining your spouse's MBTI personality type

One way to tell what your spouse would like to do on a date is by sizing up their Myers Briggs (MBTI) personality type. Each MBTI type is made of four preferences, each with contrasting characteristics.

For example, your significant other may get their energy from introspection or quiet times alone or with you (Introversion) or they might get energized from interacting with others in a social setting (Extroversion).

In making decisions, your partner might prefer to be objective (Thinking) or they may prefer to consider the feelings of those involved or the unique circumstances (Feeling).

Your mate might prefer to gather information by way of facts and details (Sensing) or by using intuition and seeing the big picture (Intuition). Lastly, they may prefer to plan things out and get closure (Judging) or leave room for more spontaneity and keep things open-ended (Perceiving).


Each facet — Introversion (I) or Extroversion (E), Sensing (S) or Intuition (N), Thinking (T) or Feeling (F), and Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) — influences how your other half interacts with the world, including how they relate to you.

And, depending on their four-letter type, they will either love how you've been spending your time together lately or else they've been craving a whole lot more.

You can make a difference in your relationship by giving some extra thought to making your partner feel loved and understood.

Carve out some time for just the two of you and follow this guide to pick the best and most fun date ideas, based on your loved one's personality type.


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Here are the 16 MBTI personality types — and ideas for dates they'd love

1. ESTP — find something new

This is the easy-going, spur-of-the-moment type. They want newness, so if you journey together to find your way to the right place, you'll recapture their heart.

The key to planning a date with this type is not to plan too much (this type doesn't even like the word 'plan'). Take a drive and see where it leads you. Pop into one of your city's unique restaurants —– and have patience because you might end up popping into a few before their senses take over and scream "yes" to one particular place.

Just go with the flow and you'll end up somewhere neither of you knew existed. 


2. ISTP — seek thrills

This type keeps a lot to themselves and they're bolder than they come across. They probably won't tell you, but secretly, they'd love to do something thrill-seeking and go somewhere you can reach some physical heights or take on a memorable challenge that you can engage in together.

Think The Amazing Race or Fear Factor.

3. ESFJ — get together with friends

Harmony is critical to this type. They've probably been going along with your date ideas for a while when really, they'd much rather be doing something else. They may be spending a lot of time with their friends, but they'd love to invite you in.

Suggest a get-together with their friends where they can be the center of attention and be by your side or check out a sporting or musical event at a more intimate venue where they can draw on the energy of those around them.


4. ISFJ — a relaxing day at home

ISFJs are dutiful and faithful types. Your partner will be old-fashioned in their date ideas but considerate — sometimes to their own detriment.

If you want to make your spouse feel special, treat them in the place that's most near and dear to them: their home. Wake up early and get some fresh organic produce from your local farmer's market but bring it all home and cook up something that will delight their keen senses.

Your love will see how much effort you've gone and they'll only have eyes for you that night.

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5. ENTP — go dancing

It's no secret that your significant other is a very social being; maybe even a total flirt! Don't worry, they don’t even realize they're doing it.


For your next date, plan something super physical and exciting like a night of salsa dancing. No doubt they’ll want to impress you with their moves and you can bet all their attention will be on you!

6. INTP — keep it mellow

The INTP is an absolute perfectionist. Their inner world is rich and full of emotions, but they guard their feelings so well. Your mate needs all the stars to align to open up their heart to you.

It's up to you to seize the moment and plan a date that will put them at ease and appeal to their exquisite taste. Try out a jazz club where you can enjoy a mellow conversation, sip something smooth, and dance a little slow.

Who knows? Your partner's walls might come down and they may open up to you about all their hopes and dreams for your future together.


7. ENTJ — game night

ENTJs are self-assured and competitive. Select a date that will test their skill and wit and show them that you're up to a challenge yourself. Organize a game night with your friends or family or challenge them to a run.

Your ENTJ likes a good chase!

8. INTJ — a poetry reading

An INTJ's brain is constantly on overdrive, taking in new information and processing it. A perfect date for your INTJ would include an intellectual dialogue, a book reading, or a speaking engagement. Or if you're both homebodies, get out the popcorn and curl up for a documentary.

Your partner will be holding your hand the whole time, so smile through it even if it's not exactly your thing.


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9. ESFP — do some good in the world

ESFPs are passionate types who are loyal to a cause (and to you), so you're going to already know what's important to them. Suggest a fundraising event to fight a disease that's been in their family or an environmental issue.

Stand back and enjoy seeing your mate work the room, giving themselves to the cause fully, and having you by their side, too. You'll be bound to feel good about this date and they'll feel even more connected to you.

10. ISFP — get into nature

The ISFP has a gentle soul and an adventurous side at the same time. If you want to know how it feels to hold hands again, take them on a nature hike that will appeal to their sense of exploration and natural relationship to the Earth.


11. ESTJ — an escape room

This type is dependable, and you'll feel secure in your relationship. They tend to thrive on demonstrating their leadership skills, so try an escape room or murder mystery show. If you get spooked, you can jump right into their arms.

12. ISTJ — hit the museum

Your ISTJ mate is classy and old-school. They believe in courtesy and tradition, so a museum is right up their alley. Pick one that speaks to their interests, such as a specific art museum, sports or music hall of fame, or even a cultural center.

The ISTJ’s feelings run deep yet quiet. Suggest a date like this and your lover may be encouraged to be a little more impulsive!

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13. ENFP — hold a dinner party

ENFPs are loyal and fun-loving. They make the ideal dinner host and revel in pleasing others. No need to take the party outside!

Steal a few kisses in the kitchen while you and your partner create a masterful dinner for you and your friends. They'll enjoy making everyone's night and they'll have enough energy to spare for you when everyone else leaves.

14. INFP — plan a picnic

The romantic and uncompromising INFP will have a vision of the perfect date in his or her head. Plan a picnic (indoors or out) with their favorite delicacies and gaze up at the big bright sky as you take a walk down memory lane.


This date will be all about bridging the past with the future.

15. ENFJ — do something physical

ENFJs are giving, passionate, and demonstrative. Your spouse is the first one to volunteer for the little league and they cheer you on at whatever you do.

It seems they have boundless energy, so suggest a date in which they can burn off some energy while giving back. Perhaps your mate would love running around with some pups at a dog rescue, delivering blankets to the homeless, or climbing a skyscraper for charity. They might be chatting up everyone you run into, but since you appreciate their innocent charm, you won't mind.

Besides, your lover has plenty of magic devoted just to you.


16. INFJ — go to a play

The INFJ wants their soul stirred. They appreciate romance and feelings more than the average person, so a movie, play, or poetry reading is going to be high on the list of date options.

If the ending is a happy one, you can be sure that those positive emotions will carry over to you and you will enjoy a passionate part 2 of the evening.

If you've recognized your significant other's personality in these descriptions, you'll be one date away from showing them how much you understand and appreciate them. Rekindling the spark between you, then keep the flames burning with more dates you'll adore.

If you're still stumped, ask your partner what's their idea of a great date and tell them you'd like to make it happen. They'll love you for it.


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Lisa Petsinis is a certified life coach who works with dedicated moms that want to give their best to their families and create a life they’ll love.