When A Woman Secretly Wants A Man, She Starts Doing These 11 Things Without Realizing

There are several little give-aways a woman won't even realize she's giving when she secretly wants someone.

Written on Oct 22, 2025

When A Woman Secretly Wants A Man, She Starts Doing These Things Without Realizing Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock
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Most men can agree that figuring out how she feels isn't that simple. Despite the changes in gender roles, there are still those who believe that women should never be too forthcoming with a man. As a result, many women have relied on subtle cues to showcase if they're interested in a man or not. And while subtlety isn't always easy to read, it's particularly noticeable when a woman secretly wants a man, because she starts doing several things without realizing it.

At first, it might seem like another everyday gesture that most men won't think too much about. From laughing around him a lot to opening up to him about her deepest secrets, for many, it could seem like the start of a beautiful friendship. And while this may be the case in some circumstances, in most cases, a woman who can't help but do these things may be secretly pining after someone.

When a woman secretly wants a man, she starts doing these 11 things without realizing it

1. She becomes curious about his love life

woman in light brown jacket becomes more curious about his love life as she smiles Cast Of Thousands | Shutterstock

When a woman secretly wants a man, she becomes curious about his love life without realizing it. Unless she's family or his best friend, most women usually won't ask a man about who he's dating unless she's interested in him. It's not like she's trying to do it on purpose, but oftentimes curiosity can make most of our thoughts come pouring out.

As Jeff Wetzler, Ed.D., said, "Science tells us that curiosity makes us more likable, fosters mutual openness, builds empathy, and makes us more resilient."

This is why a curious woman is more likely to be open about her thoughts. Even so, it's up to her to make her interest known. While she can wait for a man to make the first move, if a woman truly wants to explore a connection with someone, there's nothing wrong with upright stating, "If you're single, I'd love to get to know you more." As intimidating as it may be, only by being honest can men and women know where they stand.

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2. She mirrors his energy

woman mirrors his energy as she smiles and hugs man from behind Ground Picture | Shutterstock

Most women are not purposely mirroring a man's energy. When she's truly not interested in a man, her energy will be the complete opposite, as she wants to make it well-known that there's nothing there on her end. However, when a woman secretly wants a man, she starts mirroring his energy without realizing it. If he's being loud and goofy, a woman who likes a man can't help but copy his energy.

No, she isn't trying to be strategic or weird. Yet when she's with someone she deeply admires and respects, she's much more likely to let her guard down. This is why she appears more relaxed and why she's willing to recirculate what he's putting down. While it could be a fluke, a woman who's truly interested in a man isn't going to copy what he's doing, unless she feels comfortable around him.

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3. She laughs more around him

woman in red hat laughs more around him as man tries to fix her hat Jacob Lund | Shutterstock

On the outside, laughter might not seem like a huge deal. So what if she laughs at a few of his jokes? It doesn't really mean anything, right? And while occasional laughter might not be much to write home about, when a woman secretly wants a man, she starts laughing way more around him without realizing it. According to American psychologist Mark Travers, Ph.D., "You tend to laugh far more with other people than when alone, and often, it’s not even about the joke but more about the connection you feel in that moment."

He continued to say that relationships thrive on shared laughter. From cheesy jokes to clever inside jokes,  laughter is the single best way to make someone truly feel connected. And while laughing in passing is nothing to think much about, a woman who laughs constantly is either very nervous and wants a man to leave her alone, or truly feels connected to him and might even secretly want him.

And while it might seem impossible to tell for some men, so long as she's exhibiting other signs of interest and asks to meet up again, she's likely more interested than uninterested.

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4. She asks to meet up more

woman on phone asking to meet up more as she smiles fizkes | Shutterstock

When a woman truly wants a man, she's going to be more upfront about it. Unless she's deathly shy, she'll ask to meet up more without realizing it. The last thing a woman wants is to come across as desperate. Still, women, just like men, are also not a fan of waiting around forever to see if a relationship will work out. So, even if it's terrifying for the average person, if she truly wants a man, she'll find herself wanting to spend more time with him. 

It doesn't have to be anything fancy or crazy. Whether it's meeting up for a movie or going out for coffee, the details don't matter. As long as she can spend more time with the person she's trying to get to know, the way she asks to meet up doesn't really matter. So men, if you want to know if she may be interested, ask yourself, "Is she trying to hang out more?" If she's not, then she probably doesn't want you; however, if she does, there's a good chance the feeling is mutual.

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5. She begins to open up more

woman in yellow begins to open up more as man comforts her Mladen Mitrinovic | Shutterstock

Let's face it: opening up is far from easy. No matter how many times your therapist or mom tells you to get vulnerable, getting vulnerable is similar to pulling teeth. Especially when it comes to dating, both men and women often struggle to open up more and more. From being ghosted to being cheated on, it's no wonder that men and women have decided to stick to surface-level questions.

Even so, when a woman secretly wants a man, she begins to open up more without realizing it. No, she isn't planning on trauma dumping to a man only to leave him the next day. As awful as the dating scene feels, most women who open up truly feel a deep connection. After all, emotional vulnerability is far from easy. As licensed clinical psychologist Jennifer Caspari, Ph.D., said, "Emotional vulnerability is the quality or feeling of being exposed to possible emotional attack or harm. Having to face potential criticism or rejection."

So, if she's willing to open up, take this as a sign that she might secretly want you. 

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6. She begins to include him in her future

woman in green sweater smiling as she begins to include him in her future PeopleImages | Shutterstock

Most signs can be wishy-washy at most. It isn't always easy to tell how a woman feels, and guessing might lead to disaster if men aren't careful. That being said, when a woman secretly wants a man, she begins to include him in her future without realizing it. In no world would a woman ever talk about the future with a man she isn't interested in. Unless that's her best friend, she likely wants him.

Talking about the future is something couples typically do. Because their futures are so intertwined, discussing moving plans or career goals with one another is a given. So, if she's not unconsciously adding ways that a man can fit into her future plans, chances are she's not into him. But if she's discussing traveling together or possibly living in the same area, this is a huge sign she truly likes him.

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7. She responds to his text messages instantly

woman in red sweater responds to text messages instantly as she smiles insta_photos | Shutterstock

The average person is way too busy to respond to text messages instantly. With work, school, and other friends to text, when a woman secretly wants a man, she starts responding to text messages instantly, without realizing it. She's not trying to come off as desperate, but she can't help herself. She's infatuated with that person, and she wants to talk to them as much as possible.

And while this may make some roll their eyes, this type of behavior is nothing new. When someone truly likes someone, it's only natural that they'd want to spend as much time together as possible. Even so, texting constantly might not be such a good thing in the long run. As clinical psychologist Randi Gunther, Ph.D., said, "Texting can help or hinder intimacy, create a relationship history, and may lead to misunderstandings."

So while it might be tempting to respond, give it some time. Being thoughtful in your message is important, as it can easily be misinterpreted.

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8. She becomes more animated in his presence

woman becoming more animated in his presence as she leans in Geber86 | Shutterstock

Most women don't feel comfortable around men at first. Being taught at a young age to be on edge, when a woman secretly wants a man, she starts becoming more animated in his presence. As soon as he steps into the room, her posture is perfect, and her eyes turn towards him. Smiling brightly, she'll keep her voice high-pitched and seem more animated around him than usual.

Of course, she isn't doing this person on purpose. Guided by her emotions, she's allowing her body language to speak for her. This is why she'll seem highly energetic despite acting bored ten seconds ago. This is also why she might become more theatrical with her words. While it's strange for those watching, if a guy also likes her back, be prepared to see these two people become lost in their own world.

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9. She begins introducing him to her friends

woman introducing man to her friends as man shakes hands Studio Romantic | Shutterstock

Most women won't bother introducing any man to their friends. If they aren't planning to hook them up together, then when a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start introducing him to her friends without realizing it. If there's one thing she's eager to do, it's to see what her friends think. Even if she pretends she doesn't care, deep down inside, most of us care what our loved ones think.

Whether it's our family members or best friends, we might unconsciously find ways to introduce a potential spouse to them to ensure they aren't a glaring red flag. This is especially important if a woman doesn't have a good relationship with her parents. According to professor of psychology Karen L. Blair, Ph.D., a friend's opinion on their relationship matters more than people think and can even affect the quality of that relationship.

So, if she's bringing him around her friends a lot and they look like they're in a secret meeting with their whispered words, know that she's serious and probably wants you.

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10. She remembers the little things about him

woman in suit remembering the little things about him as she thinks PeopleImages | Shutterstock

When a woman isn't interested, she'll make it very well known. From ignoring him and staring at her phone to forgetting his birthday, when a woman doesn't want a man, she won't make that much of an effort. On the flip side, when a woman secretly wants a man, she'll remember the little things about him. From his favorite color all the way to his favorite video game character, an interested woman will act interested.

She's not going to blindly nod and space out. Even if she doesn't understand the topic, she'll make an effort to ask questions and note important details for later. So, if she's not doing any of the above, it's better to move on. While there's still a slim chance, men shouldn't waste their time on women who don't even put in the effort to remember their favorite food.

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11. She checks in with him often

woman in white shirt on phone smiling as she always checks in with him Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Finally, when a woman secretly wants a man, she'll always check in on him. For some men, receiving daily check-ins from someone they aren't even dating might seem excessive. However, if a woman is genuinely committed to seeing things through, she'll make an effort. It doesn't have to be much. A simple, "Hey, how's your day going?" text once a day is enough to make her point clear.

Yet, if she's putting in the effort to remain consistent with a man, there's a huge chance she secretly wants to explore their connection even more. That being said, honesty is the best policy. While playing footsie might feel safer, waiting too long can be a bad thing. And while it might feel intimidating for most women, don't be too shy. According to a study published in 2009, those who are the pursuer tend to experience more of a confidence boost.

So remember: even if it doesn't work out, knowing where one stands is so much better than waiting around for someone to make the first move and hoping for the best.

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Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.

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