6 Things Good Men Do That Are Incredibly Attractive To Women, According To A Psychologist
Good men aren't focused on their own needs, but rather on making their relationship thrive.
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock When women imagine the kind of man they want to spend their lives with, they usually think of someone who is handsome, physically fit, or has a profession that makes a lot of money. And while those are very surface-level ideas, there are plenty of things good men do that are incredibly attractive to women that have nothing to do with his appearance.
Sometimes, it seems like the bad guys get all of our attention. But the good guys? Well, the things they do are cause for celebration, and we can appreciate that positive behavior as seriously attractive. Because though a physical connection with someone is important, a mental and emotional one is much more fulfilling.
Here are 6 things good men do that are incredibly attractive to women, according to a psychologist
1. They're honest
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A good man will tell a woman the truth about where he stands on many things, including her. He will not play games with her emotions and will let her know what he honestly thinks and feels. In turn, she will feel a sense of stability and trust in his presence.
Even if she disagrees or wishes he saw things differently at times, his honesty will give her and the relationship firm ground on which to stand. After all, a relationship built on lies is doomed to fail. In fact, research, including one study from the Journal of Religion and Health, shows that relationships with greater honesty tend to have more personal and relationship satisfaction.
Honest men will look their partner in the eye and tell them how it is. And for her, looking deeply into the eyes of an honest man can be breathtaking.
2. They're grateful
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One of the things good men do that are incredibly attractive to women is expressing gratitude, whether it's for what he has in his life, the opportunities he's been presented, and especially for his relationship. Good men are grateful for the wonderful things in their lives, especially their partner.
Multiple studies support the many benefits of gratitude. Research published in Personal Relationships found that when one partner expresses gratitude, both have a better connection. A mindset of gratitude is also linked to social and emotional well-being, both of which are important in a healthy relationship.
Good men value and appreciate what they have, which increases happiness within themselves and their relationships. Gratitude also creates positive energy and "like attracts like," which means she will often find herself feeling grateful in the presence of a good guy. And all of this leads to more joy, more gratitude, and mind-blowing mutual attraction.
3. They show up
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Whether the relationship is going through a rough patch or things are simply perfect, one of the most important things good men do that are incredibly attractive to women is show up. Because a good guy will be present in his partner's life, whether it means surprising her with her favorite drink, attending an important event with her, or sending a supportive text before a critical meeting with her boss. He wants to be part of her life — and it shows.
He pays attention and cares enough to remember the big and little things that matter to her. By doing this, he shows that he cares about all of her, and he's happy to go out of his way to be there for her, physically and emotionally. Since a solid relationship is built on a foundation of shared experiences, his ability to be present with and for his partner nurtures feelings of trust.
This trust helps her relax and be present with him, and show up for her own emotions and needs as well as his. The ability to be vulnerable with a guy who consistently shows up for his partner is a key to intimacy and, as every woman knows, is an incredibly attractive trait to have.
4. They listen
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Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, yet one of the most frequent complaints of women is that men don't listen. Often, they try to be problem-solvers instead of just lending an ear to let their partner unload. But good guys know how to listen or are willing to learn. They make eye contact and have the ability to remain quiet while showing they are connected to their partner, and that what they're saying matters to them.
A good man knows that her perspective and feelings are important. His body language, whether nodding empathetically or offering a shoulder to cry on, conveys an attitude of non-judgmental acceptance. He sees who she is deep down and refrains from spouting any criticisms. Instead, he just listens.
And as 2023 research concluded, "Effective marital communication skills positively correlate with marital satisfaction and are considered to be of great importance to happily married couples. It also leads to a better understanding and increases intimacy between couples...Communication is a specific learned action that is very important in maintaining a relationship because it allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are. The act of communicating not only helps to meet your needs, but it also helps you to be connected in your relationship."
5. They're empathetic
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Narcissists are devoid of empathy and crave attention. But if empathy is a key quality that narcissists lack, good guys are able to offer this in abundance, and it's seriously attractive. Empathy is the ability to share and understand the feelings of another, and such mutual sharing is the basis for true connection.
Being able to offer compassion to a partner is one of the important things good men do that are incredibly attractive to women, as people can't connect with someone on a deep, emotional level if they lack concern for them. In fact, a lack of empathy can mean the end of a relationship before it starts, as it's like pulling teeth to form an authentic connection.
Watching a good man show empathy is heartwarming and lovely, often more so as it is something he does naturally and is simply a part of who he is. He cares deeply about the feelings and needs of others, and "gets it" on an emotional level. He cares and understands his partner's feelings, and caring for others is a key to happiness.
6. They're generous
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Of all their wonderful qualities and behaviors, a good guy's generosity may be the most attractive of all. It is their natural generosity that allows their many positive qualities to shine. A good man gives freely of himself, including his time, attention, gratitude, and love. He's the opposite of selfish and finds joy in giving to others. And with all his giving, he doesn't expect anything in return.
Data from the National Marriage Project found that of the people surveyed, 50% of women and 46% of men described their marriage as "very happy" when reporting "above-average" generosity. Study researcher W. Bradford Wilcox added that giving a partner something they like will make people appreciate the generosity more, saying, "[It's] signaling to your spouse that you know them, and are trying to do things for them that are consistent with your understanding of them."
When we give our time, financial resources, and compassion, we generate positive energy that attracts more of these wonderful things back to us. A good man will generously share all of himself with the one he loves, and she will find herself doing the same. Others will also benefit from this generosity, creating an amazing cycle of abundance, gratitude, and love.
Sara G. Mattis, Ph.D., C.H. is a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience in the treatment of anxiety and related issues. She's the founder of Calm Spring Healing, incorporating principles of positive psychology within her work.
