7 Signs You're Evolving Into The Most Authentic Version Of Yourself, According To Psychology

Life begins once you start living authentically for yourself.

Last updated on Jul 17, 2025

Person evolving into most authentic version of herself. Andrii Nekrasov | Canva
Advertisement

I've never been single for long. I don't know if this is good or bad; I'd like to think that it just is like a banana is yellow. I love absolutely everything about being in a relationship; however, there have been times in my life when I was either a) single, or b) dating ferociously, and maybe even involved with someone, but unhappy because that person wasn't a good fit for me.

Eventually, after committing to mindfulness practice and learning about metaphysics — things like the law of attraction, detachment, and energy — I figured out the reason was that I was not an authentic version of myself. Once that clicked for me, I took some very necessary steps to get in tune with who I was as a person, which in turn attracted the type of people I was aligned with what I said I wanted.

Here are 7 signs you're evolving into the most authentic version of yourself, according to psychology:

1. You've taken responsibility for your choices

woman who is evolving into the most authentic version of herself taking responsibility Chay_Tee / Shutterstock

Admit that you have a deep fear of love — subconsciously. According to Bruce Lipton, author of many popular books about how our thoughts and beliefs affect our life, such as The Biology of Belief, 95% of what we think is subconscious, while we are only aware, or conscious, of 5% of our thoughts.

On the surface, we may tell ourselves things like I'm ready for love! but subconsciously, we may believe that love = pain because we witnessed our parents engage in an unhealthy relationship. We have deep-rooted fears that affect us as we become adults, and we can't transmute them until we recognize that they exist.

Our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions are affecting us — especially the ones we're unaware of.

RELATED: 10 Easy Ways To Become A Better Version Of Yourself

Advertisement

2. You're untethered from past romantic partners

woman evolving into the most authentic version of herself untethering from past relationships insta_photos / Shutterstock

Grievances from past relationships will block new partners from coming into our lives. We need to untether ourselves from our exes.

How do we do that? Two ways: 1) A cord-cutting meditation, in which we visualize a cord of light connecting us to our exes that we cut, and 2) We forgive them. We must forgive them for lying, cheating, being bossy, acting unkindly, and not living up to the scripts we wrote for them.

In forgiving them, we free them, and we untether ourselves. When we hold a grievance about someone, it bonds us to them.

RELATED: 11 Clever Ways To Become A Better You In Less Than One Minute A Day

Advertisement

3. You've stopped making excuses

man who is evolving into most authentic version cleaning up limiting beliefs Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock

There are no good men. I'm too old. Everyone cheats. There's no one in this city. Romance is dead.

Stop it. Just stop it with your excuses. Spiritual maturity is about taking the reigns of your life. You're not a victim; you're an extension of the divine, and you are creating your reality with your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions.

Choose your thoughts carefully. Affirm that love abounds. When your friend attracts a lovely partner, tell yourself that this is proof that love is possible. 

Limitations and lack are an illusion. There's plenty of love to go around if your thoughts are in alignment.

Living authentically empowers individuals to recognize and confront limiting beliefs, leading to a transformative process that enhances self-esteem, resilience, and personal growth. Research shows that as individuals become more authentic, they are better equipped to challenge limiting beliefs, leading to further personal growth and a stronger sense of self.

RELATED: 10 'Green Flags' To Look For That Indicate You're Becoming Your Best Self

Advertisement

4. You put yourself out there

woman who is evolving into most authentic version of herself putting herself out there Andriiii / Shutterstock

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to meet someone while you're in your pajamas at home, watching reality television.

You need to go out. You need to join things. You need to learn something new.  You need to go on first dates; maybe even a lot of them. Enjoy the process. Have fun. Buy some frilly dresses or snazzy ties and embrace the game of love. It's supposed to be fun.

RELATED: People Living The Lives We All Dream About Figured These 6 Things Out Sooner Than Most, Experts Say

Advertisement

5. You pay attention to how receptive you are to love

woman who is evolving into the most authentic version of herself being receptive to love iona didishvili / Shutterstock

The people you attract into your life mirror back your subconscious fears. Attracting emotionally reticent men? You're emotionally reticent.

Dating women who treat you terribly? You need to work on self-talk because you are unkind to yourself. If you're not finding a partner who is a good fit for you, it's a sign that you still have some energetic cleanup to do.

Open-mindedness, a related concept to authenticity, involves being receptive to new ideas and experiences, and can positively influence relationships by enhancing empathy and understanding of others. A 2021 study found that open-mindedness can facilitate the development of shared realities in conversations, which can serve as a catalyst for building stronger bonds.

RELATED: The 5 Tiny Daily Rituals That Make You 10x Happier, According To Experts

Advertisement

6. You've figured out what you want

woman who is evolving into the most authentic version of herself figuring out what she wants Yuri A / Shutterstock

You think you want tall dark and handsome, or rich and successful, or someone with a six-pack. You probably don't.

Your spirit probably wants honesty and authenticity, or someone who can communicate, or a person who will teach you how to trust. Don't be swayed by the list you've created in your mind of Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. 

Your idea of perfection is keeping real love away. Real love is imperfect, messy, lumpy, and stinky — all rolled into one. It's beautiful.

RELATED: People Who Stay Happy And Joyful In Their 70s And Beyond Usually Have Embraced These 10 Habits

Advertisement

7. You've visualized your future

woman evolving into authentic version of herself visualizing future relationship G-Stock Studio / Shutterstock

Close your eyes and imagine how your relationship feels. Imagine what it must feel like to have a true partner — someone with whom you can open up and share your innermost feelings, someone with whom you can laugh and unwind, someone who will elicit the best from you. See it, feel it, and let yourself feel grateful for it even before you attract that person into your life.

Research suggests that highly authentic individuals might be more open to accepting their partners for who they are, including their less favorable qualities, rather than idealizing them or attempting to compensate for perceived flaws. This can lead to a more realistic and grounded visualization of their future relationships, based on acceptance and understanding.

Attracting someone who is a perfect fit for you takes some time and energy. It takes opening up, shifting, and welcoming someone and something new into your life, but in the end, it's worth it, because the quickest way to learn about ourselves is through a partnership with another.

RELATED: 11 Small Things That Can Make You Smarter And Healthier, Based On Decades of Research

Jessie Leon is a freelance author whose work has been featured in YourTango, Elephant Journal, and Evie Magazine. She covers relationships, self-help, and lifestyle topics.

Advertisement
Loading...