Your Soul Will Notice These 12 Signs First When Someone's Not Your Twin Flame After All
Your body and energy sense the mismatch long before your heart lets go.
Augustinus Martinus Noppé | Unsplash Because twin flame relationships aren't necessarily romantic and are chaotic by nature, it can be easy to fall into a false twin flame relationship. Twin flame relationships are one of the rarest types of karmic relationships, characterized by their instant connection and intensity.
Each person only has one twin flame that mirrors their soul. They're loving relationships meant to bring deep insight and awareness to each twin, often plagued by many trials and tribulations along the way. Despite the struggles that twin flames go through together, a relationship with your true twin flame will never leave you feeling doubtful about your connection.
Your soul will notice these 12 signs first when someone's not your twin flame after all:
1. They leave your life abruptly
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A false twin flame has every aspect of an actual twin flame, but once they are done with you, they disappear from your life. They get what they want, then they leave.
Studies on interpersonal exploitation have found that those with exploitative tendencies often act cooperatively at the beginning to build trust, then later defect to "win." Unlike authentic connections that honor the history you've built together, these relationships lack the contextual depth that would prevent such callous abandonment.
2. Their love is conditional
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A twin flame is someone who will give you unconditional love and accept you for all your faults. If you fail, a twin flame stands by you, whereas false twins aren't accepting of any failure.
A false twin flame is a fair-weather relationship. They'll love you on their terms, but if there's a moment that you don't meet their expectations, you'll see a difference in how they act towards you.
3. They dance around commitment
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Your false twin flame will always have excuses for why they can't commit to you. Even if your twin flame is a platonic friend, a real twin flame will not let anyone or anything come between your relationship. A false twin flame, on the other hand, will let things get in the way of a relationship with you.
Commitment-phobia often stems from factors like lack of trust, low self-esteem, and past experiences, where relationships, intimate actions, and decisions are delayed. Research shows that people with avoidant attachment patterns will let you be around them but won't let you in; they're likely to close themselves off and may even try to find a reason to end the relationship.
4. They don't want to talk about the deep stuff
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False twin flames commonly lead people on despite being completely emotionally unavailable. They leave themselves closed off, and they have all their walls up all the time. True twin flames will let their walls down and become vulnerable with you.
Social psychologist Arthur Aron found that pairs who discussed deep questions were much more likely to maintain their level of connection than those who kept to small talk. Partners who keep their walls up and avoid meaningful dialogue prevent the development of genuine intimacy.
5. Both their presence and their absence make you anxious
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A true twin flame feels like home and being with them doesn't require you to put on any kind of face while you're around them. Likewise, you know you can trust them fully when you're apart.
A false twin flame is just the opposite and a relationship with them doesn't feel natural. You may feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them whenever you're together, or you may start to feel insecure both in their presence and outside of it.
6. You're never quite sure where you stand with them
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When you meet your twin flame, you should feel like everything is in place. But with a false twin flame, you probably will ask yourself how you got to this point with this person in the first place.
With a false twin flame, you don't feel like there's any clarity surrounding your relationship. You probably feel stuck and like there is no clear path for your relationship, which should be the opposite.
7. You feel like your relationship is a competition
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Your true twin flame would love to have you as an equal partner. But a false twin flame becomes threatened by your level of success in life. They become envious and they feel like it's a competition. There is no support here.
Research shows that when envy enters a relationship, it creates tension and conflict by introducing competition into what should be a supportive partnership. In healthy relationships, partners form a united team where one person's success brings happiness to the other, but in competitive relationships, the two people act as rivals on opposing teams rather than teammates.
8. You grow apart instead of together
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When two people are true twin flames, their life journeys largely become one. You grow together and teach other lessons about how to make the world a better place not only for each other but more importantly, for others.
When you meet your false twin flame, you may feel stifled in your efforts to grow as a person. You may even find that while you're working to make your life better, you're doing so at the expense of others.
9. They trigger past trauma
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Twin flames often come at a time when you have conquered past issues and are ready to move on. But when you're dealing with a false twin flame, you'll see past issues arising again in this relationship.
Attachment theory shows that early traumatic experiences create internal working models that shape insecure attachment patterns, which can be reactivated in romantic relationships, according to one study. When people have unprocessed trauma, they're more likely to get triggered into fight, flight, or freeze responses when they encounter situations that remind them of original trauma or ongoing stressors.
10. They stunt your spiritual journey
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Both true and false twin flames enter your life during a period of spiritual awakening. On your true twin flame journey, you will move into a period of ascension in which you actually act on your newfound awareness. A false twin flame, however, will hold you back from realizing true growth.
Over time, one study found that unhealthy dynamics lead to the deterioration of self, lower self-esteem, and cause a sort of contraction where possibilities seem to become more and more limited, rather than creating conditions for the natural unfolding of unique traits, abilities, and potentialities.
11. It's a one-sided relationship
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A true twin flame relationship goes through stages, including one in which one twin is the "runner" and one is the "chaser." This dynamic will certainly be triggered in a false twin flame relationship as well.
The difference is that this distance will never fully end the relationship between you and your true twin flame. In fact, it will make your relationship strong as you work through the issues. With a false twin flame, however, you'll notice that you're the only one putting in the work to get your relationship back on track.
12. They fill you with doubt
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The purpose of a twin flame relationship is to learn and act on the meaning of true love. A false twin flame will leave you feeling doubtful of others and yourself.
After experiencing manipulation in toxic relationships, people often struggle with excessive self-reflection and second-guessing, constantly questioning their choices to avoid repeating harmful patterns. Studies reveal that individuals with lower self-esteem who experience self-doubt react by developing heightened doubts about their partners' regard, which further damages their view of the relationship.
Emily Francos is a writer and book editor for The Urban Writers. She received a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and French. Her work has been featured on YourTango, Unwritten, and MSN, where she's written about pop culture, relationships, astrology, and trending entertainment and news.
