11 Small Things Happy Couples Do Differently When Life Gets Stressful
PeopleImages | Shutterstock We've all heard the saying that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. While this applies to general life circumstances, the same can be said for relationships as well. In times of stress, especially, couples need to do their best to prioritize each other. And while it’s not always easy to make time for your partner when life is challenging, there are certain small things happy couples do differently when life gets stressful.
The happiest couples check in with one another regularly, come together during difficult times, and also understand when it's time to give each other space. Through good and bad, they rally around one another, give their undying support, and actively listen no matter what the conversation is about. Healthy, happy couples do things differently — and it's something all relationships can benefit from.
Here are 11 small things happy couples do differently when life gets stressful
1. They check in with one another
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During stressful situations, happy, healthy couples set themselves apart by making a conscious effort to check in with one another. They want to know how the other person is feeling — not because they're obligated to, but because they genuinely care. That check-in allows them time to reconnect when life is moving a mile a minute.
Chaos can cause separation, but happy couples do their best to stay close. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Soo Jin Lee, "What sets [happy] couples apart is their commitment to emotional maintenance, not just crisis management. They don't wait for a blow-up to address disconnection."
2. They offer comfort
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Offering comfort is one of the necessary yet small things happy couples do differently when life gets stressful. They talk to one another as friends, not just as partners, and during moments of stress, there's benefit to being a good friend, as licensed psychotherapist Gina Simmons Schneider points out.
They provide comfort wherever they can, whether it's through communicating about what they're going through or being a shoulder for them to cry on. Being best friends with a romantic partner is what sets these couples apart, as their romantic love is built on a healthy foundation.
What makes their relationship so strong is how they step up for one another when they need it most. These couples know that they are allies, and through the toughest times, they can turn into one another for comfort.
3. They apologize genuinely
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Through tough times, we grow sensitive. Things that usually wouldn't get under our skin become sources of pain. In fact, stress can cause a change in how we react, both physically and mentally. As a result, couples may find themselves feeling more sensitive.
During these moments, happy couples know when to apologize. They may not understand why they need to, and sometimes it could still feel like a silly argument. But when stress is permeating the relationship, happy couples know when to say sorry and move on.
4. They verbalize their appreciation
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During moments of high stress, it helps to hear your partner say positive words of affirmation. Gratitude, whether you're practicing it or your partner is showing it to you, greatly impacts mental health. Moments of gratitude can ease anxiety and depression, support heart health, relieve stress, and enhance sleep, as well as bring couples closer together.
When couples are experiencing a stressful period, appreciation can lift one another up. It's as simple as sending a sweet note to one another or saying "thank you" for doing a simple action. When you tell someone you're thankful for them, it means everything when life feels unstable.
5. They remind each other that this is temporary
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Life gets stressful for different reasons. It could be a major project at work that's sucking all of your time and energy, or struggles like the passing of a loved one. These are all moments that test our relationships, but how we show up is important.
When a couple finds themselves in these situations, they know it's helpful to remind one another that it's only temporary. While stressful situations can feel like they will last forever, in these moments, happy couples ground each other in the present. They remind themselves that this will pass, and that they have each other to rely on.
6. They prioritize time together
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Believe it or not, times of stress can be a bonding opportunity, according to licensed clinical social worker Robert B. Weiss. Healthy couples realize that it may be hard to find the time, but coming together is important. They need to stay together as a unit instead of coming apart and separating.
Emotional intimacy can suffer during rough patches, but making time for one another not only brings relief, but remains one of the very small things happy couples do differently when life gets stressful. Whether it's eating dinner at the table together or watching TV at the end of a busy day, these couples see value in any moment they can spend together.
7. They allow space
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Sometimes, the best thing a couple can do in times of stress is take a step back. They can sense when the other person needs time for themselves. Whether it's being left alone while they're working on their computer, or letting them have quiet time to read or journal, these moments alone make a difference.
Happy couples don't force time together; instead, they give the option of space when they can tell their partner is overly stressed. As Utah State University explained, "While quality time is crucial, so is quality alone time. Every individual — regardless of how extroverted or introverted they are — needs space to recharge, reflect, and pursue personal growth. When individuals have time to themselves, they're more likely to show up in their relationships as emotionally balanced, self-aware, and present."
8. They openly communicate
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When things are stressful in a relationship, couples can lose focus on what's important. They may let their communication suffer, which can negatively impact their bond. However, overcoming these periods of stress requires a couple to work together, and having clear communication allows them to understand what the other needs.
Simply talking to your partner is another of the small things happy couples do differently when life gets stressful. They don't clam up or hide their emotions; rather, they express them openly. They ask how they can show up for one another, providing the love and support they need.
9. They work as a team
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It's easy to grow distant from your partner during times of stress. When you're caught up in your own head and the issues you're working through, it's not uncommon to focus more on yourself. But the happiest couples know that this is the opposite of what they need to make their relationship work and understand that working as a team is essential to moving through it.
Conquering their struggles together is key. While it might be easier said than done to work as a team during stressful situations, when they put in effort, they're much more likely to succeed.
10. They adjust expectations
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During stressful periods, some things that were once a priority become less important. Some couples may have designated chores or responsibilities that fall to the wayside in rough times. But for happy couples, when life gets complicated, they adjust their expectations.
Doing the dishes or running an errand becomes less important. If they're getting done, even if it takes more time, that's all that matters. They may also lower their expectations of one another. Maybe one partner relies on the other to do a specific task, but if they can no longer meet that expectation, the other will adjust to meet them halfway.
11. They keep a calm demeanor
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It's no secret that when things are stressful, minor arguments are common in relationships. Stress can put pressure on a couple and cause tension, but happy couples don't let that drive a wedge through them. Instead, they remain calm, working through issues with their words instead of getting caught up in the heat of the moment.
"By discussing how each of you tends to feel and think and act when you're overwhelmed, you can build a shared understanding of each other's tendencies," research psychologist Dave Smallen explained. "This can help you make sense of your partners' behavior such that it doesn't feel personal: They are behaving in response to their own heightened emotions, rather than as a reaction to you."
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master's degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
