5 Things Deeply Compelling Women Do That Just Naturally Draw People To Them
Something about them almost magnetically compels people to them.
behrouz sasani | Pexels When it comes to dating and relationships, the alleged simplicity of men and the complexity of women is legendary. So, when it comes to how to be deeply compelling, logic may (incorrectly) tell you that men love nothing more than a no-nonsense shoulder tap and head nod that signals, 'Let's get out of here.'
But in reality, men take flirting just as seriously as women, and they love the subtle dance as much as we do. So, if you don't quite know how to be compelling to people, here are five techniques no man can resist. Try them out the next time a good-looking man cutie catches your eye.
Here are five things deeply compelling women do that just naturally draw people to them:
1. Break the ice
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If you aren't a learned scholar in the school of flirting, no worries. One universal thing among all men surveyed is how much they love it when a woman takes control and makes the first move. Think: eye contact. Think: being friendly. Think: smiling.
According to a 2021 study, those who break the ice are seen as proactive, confident, and socially capable, which contributes to their perceived attractiveness and desirability as potential friends or partners. This is rooted in our natural inclination to feel more comfortable around individuals who demonstrate positive social engagement.
2. Playfully banter or tease
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No need to impress the tall, dark, handsome guy in the corner with your impressive knowledge of Nietzsche (save it for the first date); instead, gently poke fun and laugh. Never act like a ditz, but do playfully tease. Men bond with each other this way, so their feelings won't get hurt.
Playful teasing can be a valuable tool on a first date to build attraction, rapport, and a strong connection with a man. Recent research explained that by understanding the underpinnings of playful teasing and practicing mindful interaction, you can enhance your dating experience and increase the likelihood of sparks flying.
3. Take interest in someone else's stories
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After you've said hello and shared a laugh, engage him in a conversation and listen to what he says. A good rule is to ask as many questions as you answer. You won't earn points by trying to trump his IQ (or anyone else's) with your own, but it also won't hurt to offer some open-minded insight into the topic he raised.
Studies have found that people naturally compare themselves to others, so when someone shows genuine interest in their life, it provides a form of social validation. It suggests that the person's experiences and perspective are worthy of attention and consideration.
4. Give a real and kind compliment
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Give him the eye and ask, "What's your workout regime? You look great." Feel a bit cliché? Maybe. But while most men don't spend hours in front of the mirror beating themselves up because they don't look like David Beckham, when it comes to his positive assets, whether that's his brain, body, or whatever, giving a genuinely true compliment will get you everywhere.
While acknowledging physical attraction is natural and can be part of showing interest, solely focusing on their physique might not be the most effective approach. A 2017 study found that a more effective approach appreciates a combination of physical and non-physical qualities, delivered sincerely and thoughtfully.
5. Give a quick, casual touch that's not creepy
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If you haven't already learned that no man can resist being touched, you should lightly touch his arm, leg, or the small of his back. But don't be too forceful. A simple light touch on his arm, when you laugh at his joke, is all that's needed to let him know you're interested.
Research has found that touch serves as a non-verbal language that strengthens connections and builds trust in relationships. It provides a sense of belonging and affection that words often cannot, making us feel valued and emotionally connected.
Melissa Noble is an integrated senior writer and editor from New York. Her work has been featured across the web, as well as New York Magazine and OK! Magazine. She received a Bachelor of Science in Mass Communications, News Editorial from Virginia Commonwealth University and currently serves as Associate Creative Director at Weber Shandwick.
