11 Reasons Some Men Actually Value 'Lazy Wives' Over Perfect Homemakers
They love the playfulness, intimacy, and energy that comes from idle time with their partners at home.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Even though traditional, misguided gender roles and stereotypes tend to be socially discussed in the framework of women, because of the inequity and struggles they face, men are also harmed by these patriarchal struggles. Whether it's a pressure to be a "provider" financially or to "protect" under misguided masculine tropes that urge them to suppress their emotions and remain stoic, there are many reasons why they prefer to ditch classic gender roles.
Of course, in their relationships, these roles can take different forms. Just because their wives are stay-at-home moms or "homemakers" doesn't necessarily mean they've adopted all the nuanced traditionalism that tends to follow. However, when couples aren't on the same page, there can be a lot of resentment and turmoil, which is one of the reasons some men actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers.
Here are 11 reasons some men actually value 'lazy wives' over perfect homemakers
1. They appreciate their authenticity
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
For some women, leaning into the "homemaker" role, staying home, and taking on traditional women's roles at home can be empowering — they appreciate the hard work that comes with it, taking care of their space and family, and fulfilling their lives in this manner.
However, for the women who choose not to, having a supportive partner who empowers them into an authentic identity, doing whatever their hearts and minds want, is just as empowering. That's one of the reasons men actually value "lazy wives" — a euphemism in every sense, simply doing their own work outside the home and leaning into softness — over perfect homemakers.
2. They prioritize connection over responsibility
fizkes | Shutterstock
Of course, long-term couples need to consider logistics, planning, and responsibility in their daily lives to manage the chaos. Still, when it becomes the sole focus of a relationship, they can start to feel more like roommates than partners.
If being a "lazy wife" over a perfect homemaker means more intentional quality time together, strong intimacy, and a true connection, these men prefer it. Men need relationships often more than women simply for these moments — to feel emotionally supported and to have a soft, intimate place to land at home.
3. They want shared responsibilities
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
According to a study from Pew Research Center, in a growing share of U.S. marriages, women and men are making the same, with many men exceeding their male partners' incomes. Despite that, men often spend most of their time on paid work and leisure, while women spend extra time outside of work on caregiving and household labor.
Especially in a dual-income household, wanting an equitable share of responsibilities is important for high-value men, which is why they actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers, because it offers space for a unique, balanced household share that works for everyone.
4. They care deeply about emotional intimacy
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock
If a woman's full-time job is to be a "perfect" homemaker, her job never goes away. She's always clocked in, feeling a responsibility for the home, and managing all of those tasks, even after her husband has clocked off his position.
That's part of the reason why men who care deeply about emotional intimacy value "lazy wives" at home over these perfect homemakers. When they're home together, they care less about the "doing" and responsibility, and more about having space to unwind, recharge, and truly emotionally connect.
5. They actively avoid resentment
LightField Studios | Shutterstock
According to a Gallup study, more stay-at-home mothers and "perfect homemakers" experience sadness, depression, anger, and resentment toward their partners than working wives do. Whether it's the inevitability of responsibility at home or a feeling of intimate disconnect from their partners, it's no surprise that more women are turning away from these traditional roles to protect their own love and well-being.
That's also one of the reasons some men actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers — they actively avoid resentment by forming a more equitable share of household labor and spending more time connecting, bonding, and growing closer when they're both in their shared space.
6. They want rich inner lives at home
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Whether it's spending hours going on dates at night, having "recharge" conversations with deep meaning on the couch at home, or rotting in bed together on a Saturday morning, not worrying about obligations, these are some of the reasons some men actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers.
When they're together at home, they want to feel comfortable and connected, not resentful and responsible. When a perfect homemaker is at home, "clocked" into their shift all the time, it's this deep conversation, connection, and personal time that goes overlooked.
7. They like imperfect people
fast-stock | Shutterstock
Sometimes, the most "imperfect" people by societally defined expectations are also the most thoughtful and authentic. Meeting societal expectations also means following trends, trying to fit into a mold, and holding yourself to traditionalist obligations that aren't always aligned with personal identity.
However, a partner's perceived authenticity in a marriage often signals a kind of stability and trustworthiness to their partners, according to a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, so it's no surprise that some men prefer an "imperfect," yet wholly authentic partner. They simply don't demand perfection from anyone, by any standards — especially their wives and partners at home.
8. They inspire their partners to slow down
fizkes | Shutterstock
Sometimes, we all need a reminder to slow down and lean into the softness of idleness. In fact, our bodies are naturally wired to seek out idleness in every moment — the trait that often defines societally-cradled ideas of "laziness."
Men who actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers at home tend to appreciate this desire to slow down, inspiring their partners to come home, recharge, and relax with them after work. They don't want them to feel solely responsible for household labor, chores, or even childcare, because with shared responsibilities also comes more time to slow down and rest together.
9. They challenge traditional gender roles
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
There are so many reasons why men who adhere to traditional gender roles tend to live more unfulfilling, unhappy lives, like a study from Personality and Individual Differences suggests. From pressures to be "man enough" to unhealthy, all-consuming gender roles in their relationships, it can be training to try to fit this mold, especially when it sparks more tension and resentment on its own.
That's why challenging traditional gender roles, both for themselves and their wives, is one of the reasons some men actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers. They want the authenticity and security that comes from forming their own roles and evolving them over time to best suit their relationships and well-being.
10. They care about balance
AYO Production | Shutterstock
Having a balanced relationship in every sense — with work, emotional support, intimacy, and even household labor — is an essential part of longevity for couples. If there's a kind of rigidity that promotes an unbalanced dynamic or one partner is consistently responsible for more than the other without space for complaint, that can add strain and resentment.
That's why needing and seeking balance are some of the reasons men actually value "lazy wives" over perfect homemakers. Of course, society is always constantly telling us what men "prefer" and want out of their partners, but in this case, it's a genderless desire — to want to be in an equitable, balanced, and loving relationship.
11. They're playful
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock
While traditional gender structures and roles often thrive on a kind of expectation and rigidity, men who actually prefer "lazy wives" at home over perfect homemakers are far more playful. They enjoy the fun, rest, and unexpected fun that comes with not only sharing a home with their partner, but having the freedom to fill their time and space however they want.
Thankfully, it's exactly that playfulness, according to a study from Scientific Reports, that truly bonds couples closer together and promotes a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
