8 Reasons Why Men Like 'Orbiters' More Than Women

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man talking to a woman in the park

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how often guys think that women like having guys constantly floating around them, acting nice, in hopes that sex drops out.

Pickup artists often call these guys “orbiters,” and it’s generally not seen as a good thing to be by anyone.

Orbiters are the kind of guys who will act like they're "fans" of a girl they like or will just try to linger around them in hopes that the girl would become interested. A good example of a particularly common form of the orbiter is the "Nice Guys" who "orb" around particular women but never openly say how they feel about said woman.

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As you can imagine, it gets annoying to have too many orbiters — or any at all.

But let’s just get real here: guys tend to like having orbiters way more than girls do. Here’s why this general trend tends to happen.  

Here are 8 reasons why men like 'orbiters' more than women:

1. It boosts their player status with other guys

When girls get guys who loiter around them in hopes of having sex, they get called “sl*ts,” “teases,” and other not-so-nice names. When guys have it happen, it’s because they’re “players.”

2. Guys typically don’t have to deal with the dangerous parts of being crept on

Statistically, women are way more likely to get killed or raped by a stalker than guys are. Unstable people who orbit can turn into stalkers, and by the numbers, they’re more likely to get violent if their target is female. Since guys don’t have to deal with the danger of an unstable orbiter as often, it’s typically seen as a nuisance at worst.

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3. Some guys use it as an ego boost

Then again, this is true with both men and women. When someone’s strung along, we see it as validation. It’s a sign that, yes, we’re desired. However, since getting an orbiter is less likely to happen to men, they’ll be more likely to enjoy it at a higher level.

4. When a guy has orbiters, they often will just use them for sex

Guys, more than girls, seem to have a thing for sex that comes with no attachment. Girls who are desperate enough to just “orbit” a guy will usually accept being a fling and nothing more, even though there’s a good chance that they’ll want more.

5. Or, they will use them as a way to make the girl they actually like {{ jealous }}

This can also be said for women. The difference is that girls often will find that doing a jealousy ploy will fail, while guys will find out that it will work out for them! (This was actually backed by a study.)

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6. Guys are more likely to use orbiters as a way to convince themselves to stay single

From my personal experience, I find that a lot of guys only will commit to a girl when they no longer find being single to be fun. The thing about female orbiters is that they’ll give guys love, affection, and sex. And they offer variety, which is what makes singledom fun.

When they have fun, they don’t want to be taken. Meanwhile, male orbiters tend to be creepy and more demanding than giving. So, girls don’t typically get that perk.

7. Most male orbiters will creep on girls whether they like it or not, while most female orbiters orbit because they get signs that the guy likes them

If you’re female, you already have had at least one or two thirsty messages from men who just did not get the hint. Not all men can say they’ve had a girl who hasn’t taken no for an answer. Since women are more likely to get creeped out by pushy orbiters, it’s understandable why they don’t want this stuff to happen to them.

8. And let’s not forget the issue of friend-zoned guys

Girls don’t usually shame men on “friend-zoning” them while orbiting guys do it all the time. Simply put, when you’re a guy with women fawning over him, you don’t usually deal with a lot of bad, pushy vibes from the girl. When you’re a girl, you deal with a lot of men saying terrible things to you.

All in all, it’s all about how girls are raised versus how guys are raised. Guys are subtly taught not to take no as an answer, while girls are taught to politely back down once they hear that first rejection. That, combined with the “niceness” factor that orbiters tend to add to their dynamic, makes it much more pleasant to be a guy than a girl with this issue.

So, this whole idea that girls like guys who "string along" in hopes that something happens is a major myth. Can we please kick this old-school belief out of orbit, already? 

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.