16 Things Only People In Long-Term Relationships Totally Understand

It's not all fun and games, but it's totally worth it.

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 years. TWELVE! I met him when I was 14 years old and the rest is history.

Our relationship has changed a lot over the past 12 years and it’s insane to think about how much we’ve experienced together (we kinda grew up together ya know!?)

When I look at the way we act today in our long-term relationship, I am pretty astonished at how far we have come.

From times when I was terrified he would go into the bathroom after I pooped to those moments when an accidental droplet of flying spit made me want to die inside, what we do in front of each other now is a whole lot different.


And, aside from not being as embarrassed over things anymore, our life goals, relationship goals, and daily interactions are drastically different than before.

From my personal experience, here are the 16 ways that your relationship changes after a whole decade together.

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1. You don't care if they know you poop. 

The days of holding it in, and making excuses to leave the house and find a public restroom is over. You poop. They poop. And if they can’t get over the fact that your shit does in fact stink, they can get lost because you just don’t care anymore.


2. You don't stress about embarrassing yourself in front of them anymore.

Farting in your sleep or snoring like a mythical monster doesn’t even embarrass you anymore. They know all of your embarrassing quirks and still decided to love you anyway.

3. Fights are FAR less frequent.

Fighting with your partner just doesn’t offer the passion and appeal that it used to. You have both learned to pick your battles by now (hopefully) and have also stopped doing things that you learned piss each other off.

4. And you get over those fights SUPER quick.

If you do happen to have the occasional argument, you don’t require the sappy love notes and apology flowers anymore. Both of you will kind of brush it off, fix the problem, and move on with your lives because “ain’t nobody got time for that.”

5. You've become brutally honest with each other.

You trust each other enough to be honest, but sometimes you are a little brutal. You think nothing of telling your partner that his sweater doesn’t match his pants, and he will actually be pretty grateful that you did (later).


6. You kinda wonder what being with someone else would be like.

While the beginning of your relationship may be filled with a fiery passion that keeps your eyes solely on your partner, after ten years, they may begin to wander. It’s usually pretty innocent and while you love the hell out of them, it’s kind of human just to wonder.

7. But you don't jeopardize your relationship over these thoughts.

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After being together for 10 years, you’ve realized that while it may be a human instinct to wonder about other partners, acting on it is not something you really want to do. You love your relationship and wouldn’t jeopardize it.

8. You stop saying "please."

Trying to be polite is the way of the past. After ten years, you call your partner to pick you up from the bar, ask them to pick you up a snack, and never pay them back or make you a cup of tea just because you don’t feel like it.


You know they will still love you, even if you don’t say please.

9. You enjoy your alone time.

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While you may have been inseparable at the beginning, getting a night to yourself is kind of awesome these days. A night to hang out with your family and friends without your partner there is pretty welcomed.

10. You don't worry yourself so much about him cheating on you.

At this point, you don’t constantly feel insecure every time your partner is texting someone or goes out to the bar without you. You aren’t constantly worrying, sneakily looking through their phone, or driving by their favorite hangout.


You know what you bring to the relationship and if they cheat on you, well, their loss.

11. You stay in a whole lot more.

Going out and partying is a lot of fun but eventually, you realize that you can enjoy each other’s company much better while sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream instead of screaming over the music at the bar.

12. All of your future plans automatically include your S.O.

It’s not too often that you talk about taking a vacation, your living situation, or even what you’re having for dinner without referring to both of you.


13. Sex isn't that exciting anymore.

It’s no secret that having sex at the beginning of a relationship is much more exciting than ten years in. Sure, there are plenty of ways to keep things spicy but in general, having sex with your partner isn’t what it used to be.

14. You actually understand what the word "partner" means.

After ten years, you realize that a “partner” is much more suitable than a husband, boyfriend, wife, or girlfriend. You and your love are actual partners in life as you want each other to succeed and will do your part to help them get there.

15. You get their quirks now that you've spent so much time around their family.

You’ve known your partner and their family for so long now that you completely get why they act the way they do. You can point out that their tendency to be nosey about the neighbors comes from their mom and that their short temper stems from their dad.

16. You know you're S.O. like a book. Not even kidding.

You aren’t trying to get to know each other anymore because you actually DO know each other. Almost better than anyone else.


You know exactly what songs they will hate or love, which situations will make them uncomfortable and what kind of people they will get along with. 

Shannon Ullman is an editor for YourTango who focuses on writing about lifestyle and relationships.