People Who Nail First Dates Always Follow These 10 Unspoken Rules
Don't skip these simple but game-changing tips.
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva So, you've met a cool person who asked you out. Exciting? Definitely. A little nerve-wracking? Absolutely. So, what are we to do to lessen the nerves that inevitably come with first-date territory?
As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is probably the best way to ensure you not only have a good time on a first date but also get a second date, too. That said, there are a few dos and don'ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally new. Remember, it's all about making a solid first impression.
People who nail first dates always follow these 10 unspoken rules:
1. They speak up when something doesn't work for them
TimeImage Production | Shutterstock
Nobody likes a pushover, so if your date tells you they planned an evening at a sushi restaurant and you don't eat fish, or they want to hang out at a cocktail lounge but you don't drink, speak up. It'll only look strange if you tell them all that after you're already seated and waiting to order.
The same goes for being decisive. If they ask what you'd like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, don't say "I don't care, what do you want?" Wishy-washy can get really old, really fast.
2. They dress to impress — but also to be comfortable
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock
Obviously, you want to look your best, but a first date isn't the time to take those new 5-inch stilettos out for a road test or wear something a little too tight. Why? First dates are anxiety-filled enough, and being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse.
Plus, won't it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high? Instead, wear things you know look good on you but won't hinder you from being cool, calm, and collected.
3. They actually show up on time
Mangostar | Shutterstock
Yeah, we know the whole fashionably late ideology still exists, but on a first date, you'll make a better impression if you show up on time. Would you want him to show up late? Probably not. Research on romantic desire showed "impressions of compatibility have lingering effects on relationship development, even from the moment that two potential partners meet."
What's that? It takes you two hours to do your hair? Sounds like you're perfectly aware of that fact, which means you'll know exactly how much time you need to prepare ahead of time, even if it's five hours (hey, we don’t judge.)
4. They know their limits with drinking
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
There’s not much to say here without sounding like a preachy parent. But keep this advice clearly in mind. Be careful with alcohol.
Having to be carried home by someone you barely know isn’t fun. Neither is slurring your words or crying at the dinner table. Know your limits.
Dating coach Sidhharrth S Kumaar advised, "On a first date, it's natural to have a drink or two to relax a bit. A superb, handmade local beer and a sophisticated drink while roaming the yacht club's banks, have an after-dinner cordial. A red flag that indicates "too anxious to cope with reality" and "raging alcoholic" includes lining up Jager bombs, completing five drinks for everyone on your date, and double bottles of tequila."
5. They don't obsess over their looks all night
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
Who wants to waste precious date time running to the bathroom to brush your hair, reapply your lipstick, or check the mirror every half hour? Put as much effort into your appearance as you want before you meet your date.
This will let you focus your energy on making solid conversation. By participating in good conversation, you won't need or have time to worry about how you look.
6. They put their phone away
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
This is the big one. The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bona fide deal breaker. There’s nothing more rude than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly staring at a screen.
Checking Instagram can wait. Definitely don’t post any status updates about your date in real-time. And completely avoid snapping any candid pics when they’re not looking. That’s just rude.
7. They keep the conversation flowing by asking questions
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
A foolproof way to ensure the conversation will always be flowing is to simply ask questions. Be sure to keep the questions semi-general. No one wants to undergo a first date interrogation.
Ask about work, family, hobbies, etc., until you both feel comfortable enough to tackle the big stuff. Save heavier topics, such as revelations about exes, for later. Take the time to learn about what makes each other unique.
8. They offer to pay (or at least split)
Dejan Dundjerski | Shutterstock
A tactful way to do this is to simply reach for the check when it comes. This shows you were already anticipating picking up the tab. If your date insists on paying, offer to split the cost or to leave the tip.
However, if you offer to pay or split the tab, be prepared to actually pay or split. Offering and then not having the funds to pitch in is going to make a bad impression. And who goes out without some form of currency these days?!
9. They don't go full detective after the date
insta_photos | Shutterstock
If you had a wonderful time and feel like shooting your date a casual text later that night or the next day, go for it. Everyone likes to be appreciated and acknowledged.
Just maybe don’t obsess on their social media and accidentally like all their photos. Or worse, start exploring their friends' and exes' accounts. Information is power, but snooping around is potentially a problem.
10. They bring positive energy
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
No matter how bad a day you had at work, or whether the restaurant you’re at has terrible service, or the movie you saw is a total dud, try your best to stay positive. When getting to know someone new, positivity is a good trait.
Staying realistically positive will alleviate a lot of the anxiety he’s having about whether he’s showing you a good time. Your good vibe will just make you more fun to be around, pure and simple.
Stylecaster has the latest in fashion trend reports, shopping guides, and celebrity style news.
