Man Cancels On Date 30 Minutes Before They Were Supposed To Meet Because She Told Him She Doesn’t Drink
At least he didn't ghost her...
Boryana Manzurova | Shutterstock When it comes to dating and relationships, everyone has their dealbreakers. It could be a simple pet peeve, or it could be something that could majorly affect your relationship in the long run. It could be something as simple as being late to a first date that gives off a bad impression, or it could be an offhand comment about politics or social issues that might turn your potential date away. For one man, however, it was a woman's sobriety.
A woman's date cancelled on her 30 minutes before they were supposed to meet because she told him she doesn't drink.
TikToker Steph Taylor shared the story in a viral video, explaining that she was chatting with the guy she was supposed to go out with over text message right before their date. He casually asked her if she was "more of a cocktail girl or a beer girl?" to which she responded, "I'm more of a mocktail girl."
She told him that she doesn't drink due to a medical condition, but she clarified that she's pretty easygoing and doesn't mind being around others who drink. However, the man didn't take this well, texting back, "Oh...yeah [I don't know] if that's gonna work for me, we should cancel now."
He proceeded to leave her text message on read, and she didn't hear from him again. She might've been disappointed about it in the moment, but based on his reaction, there's no denying she dodged a bullet.
Commenters were divided, with some believing the man might've had ulterior motives for the date.
Users speculated that he could have been planning on taking advantage of her while drinking, with one user writing, "Translation: 'you mean I can’t get you drunk? I’m out.'" Others think the date could've even turned dangerous for Taylor, with another saying, "What was he planning to slip you and then blaming it on the alcohol?"
However, others felt that it was more likely a lifestyle preference. Perhaps he was doing them both a service by avoiding wasting any time. A third user confirmed this, saying, "I mean, you both communicated clearly, and found out you weren’t compatible before any time was spent."
Almost everyone agreed that he didn't really handle the situation correctly. Rather than bailing on her last minute, it would've been more gentlemanly of him to share that their values and lifestyles didn't align, and politely call off the date. But when it comes to the reality of today's dating world, which is rife with ghosting and whatever other weird trend that gives singles carte blanche to basically be horrible to each other, he's practically a prince charming, because at least he had the decency to actually cancel.
Dating when you don't drink can seem difficult, but it doesn't have to be.
It's always best to be upfront and honest from the jump. Set boundaries that communicate what situations you are and are not comfortable with. There are lots of reasons why people don't drink, and it takes a lot of courage to own your choice in a culture that encourages drinking.
As StyleGirlfriend advised, if your potential date chooses to cancel because of your choice to be sober, "don't read into it." It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, and it doesn't mean your date has a drinking problem either. It's just a lifestyle choice, and your lifestyle is not compatible with that one person. It doesn't mean it will be that way with everyone. You'll remember to bring it up early next time and then plan dates accordingly.
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The right person for you will be happy to explore date ideas that don't involve drinking alcohol. Go to venues that don't traditionally sell alcohol, like a cafe or an arcade. If you like the great outdoors, bike riding or hiking are also great options.
Overall, be confident in yourself. Don't be afraid to enforce your boundaries, and plan ahead of time to make choices easier in the moment. Yes, this guy was kind of a jerk for canceling 30 minutes before the date, but seriously, it's so much better than wasting the whole night getting to know someone you'll never see again.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
