People Who Do These 7 Things Turn People Off Whether They Realize It Or Not
You might think you're being charming, but these habits secretly push people away.
Moises Alex | Unsplash Let's be honest: Dating is a big deal. Forget about the "be yourself" adage — the first date, at the very least, necessitates a performance. One of life's most complex problems is getting the balance right between exposing your true self and holding back a little to come across better.
If you nail that first date, the most challenging part is over, and you might be on your way to a wonderful relationship. If you get it wrong by doing these things, your ego will be damaged, and you'll likely turn people off, whether you realize it or not.
People who do these seven things turn people off, whether they realize it or not:
1. Acting as if someone handed you a mic and a podium
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In order to avoid awkwardness on the first date, conversation should be a two-way street. People who are passionate about what they believe might get a little carried away and end up dominating the conversation rather than just participating. Make sure you're not overpowering the other person while discussing something about which you're enthusiastic.
This one-person show behavior is particularly toxic on dates because it kills any sense of romantic tension or mutual discovery. Instead of the exciting dance of getting to know each other, one person becomes a passive audience member while the other performs their greatest hits.
2. Showing up filthy
A person may learn a lot about another in the first seven seconds of a meeting, even though we want people to concentrate on their inner beauty and personality attributes rather than their external looks. Most of us know the importance of maintaining good personal hygiene and dressing professionally, but sometimes, we need a slight nudge in the right direction.
The good news is that this is one of the easiest social mistakes to fix. You don't need to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes or undergo a complete makeover. You just need to commit to basic cleanliness: regular showers, clean clothes, brushed teeth, and basic grooming.
3. Drinking excessively
On a first date, it's natural to have a drink or two to relax a bit. A superb, handmade local beer and a sophisticated drink while roaming the yacht club's banks, have an after-dinner cordial.
A red flag that indicates "too anxious to cope with reality" and "raging alcoholic" includes lining up Jager bombs, completing five drinks for everyone on your date, and double bottles of tequila.
4. Yucking someone else's yum
It's a deal-breaker if someone tells me what to eat, particularly on a first date. It's okay if they choose to live as a vegan, vegetarian, or whatever, as long as it doesn't come with a sermon about how terrible red meat is.
To me, it's a case of living and letting live. I'll eat anything you want, and you can eat whatever you want. I don't need to be told why I shouldn't value my possessions. What makes this behavior particularly grating is the assumption that you haven't already considered your choices.
5. Turning the conversation into a confessional
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Don't just respond to your date's queries. If you don't do this, your date will feel neglected and you'll seem self-absorbed.
A nervous ramble or the desire to impress one's partner are common reasons individuals talk nonstop about themselves on their first date. While it's understandable that they want to be noticed, they're overlooking the reality that their date wants the same thing.
6. Acting like a love maniac
Many folks are too hesitant or scared to go that far. Don't ask them when they're going to stop using Hinge now that they're dating you exclusively. Don't inquire whether they're available to meet your parents tomorrow night.
Stop behaving as though you've been single for ten years, even if you have. It doesn't look good. The most cringe-worthy manifestations include asking about exclusivity before you've even established regular communication, or making assumptions about your availability and plans together. These behaviors reveal someone more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than with actually building one.
7. Being confident to the point of cockiness
First dates might be nerve-wracking, but it's perfectly normal to feel a bit uneasy. But to win someone's heart, you must keep your confidence.
Try to learn as much as you can about them, but don't brag about your intelligence on the first date. Maintain a consistent tempo by going with the flow. Excessive confidence and overdoing will detract from your overall image.
When it comes to establishing the basis of a committed relationship, nothing beats the excitement of a first date. Don't mess things up by saying anything inappropriate or bringing up awkward issues. Begin the conversation by paying attention and interacting, but most essential — be yourself.
Sidhharrth S. Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and the founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge of modern sciences to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.
