Men Who Never Seem To Learn From Their Mistakes Usually Have These 11 Habits
jantsarik / Shutterstock We’ve all experienced bad relationships. Whether it’s constant arguing or blatant disrespect, some men do not put in enough effort into their partnerships. Instead of making a woman feel like a priority, he chooses to put himself first. Over and over again, his relationships fall short.
Relationships are complicated. There is no denying that. However, we all know one man who can never settle down. It’s not that he necessarily doesn’t want to; it’s more so that he struggles to put genuine effort into someone else. Over and over again, they will meet someone, do something that pushes her away, and break up. The cycle will continue. Some men never learn from their mistakes. They don't see a pattern in their behavior. When you encounter a man like this, you’ll notice he has certain habits that prevent him from finding a true, happy relationship.
Men who never seem to learn from their mistakes usually have these 11 habits
1. They justify their actions
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Many men who never learn from their mistakes are in the habit of justifying their actions. These men find it easy to defend themselves even after their worst behavior. In many situations, they understand what they are doing wrong. However, they use self-deception to change their mindset. They can continue to justify what they do because they are caught up in the recurring habit.
In reality, these men are causing pain to the women in their lives. They may find their relationships are short-lived. They can use any excuses in the book to blame anyone but themselves. As a result, they continue to make the same mistakes without learning to stop.
2. They don't take responsibility
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Some men find themselves in the habit of making mistakes and never taking responsibility for their actions. They may use deflection as a defense mechanism. Instead of admitting their faults, it’s easier for them to flip the blame on someone else. They may make the same mistake over and over again, but when they choose to point the finger elsewhere, they never learn how to better themselves. Their relationships may stay stagnant because of these behaviors.
These men may do this because shifting the blame takes the pressure off themselves. Owning their mistakes would make them feel uncomfortable emotions. Instead of confronting those feelings, they deflect.
3. Feedback feels like an attack
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If a man has the habit of taking feedback as an attack, he may never learn from his mistakes. When someone tells him how his behavior made them feel, they get caught up in how it makes them feel. They are not always thinking of the person who confronted them. They will continue to make the same mistakes without growing.
“The objective (whether you realize it or not) is to avoid facing anything that feels like an attack on your intelligence, character, lifestyle, or decisions. You may expressly deny the feedback you are receiving, impulsively justify your decisions, or make excuses for your behavior. You may also shift attention to the faults of the other person, with some 'what about-isms,' so that in turn you feel better about yourself in the moment,” says Arlin Cuncic, MA.
4. They struggle with their priorities
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Life is chaotic. Sometimes, it’s hard to navigate our priorities. Putting things in order of importance can be difficult. Some men struggle to put the people in their lives before other things. Whether it’s their career or their hobbies, they can neglect friends, family, and their romantic relationships. This causes them to feel lonely. However, they do not always learn from this mistake.
It can be hard to separate career life from everything around you. We all need to put effort into our work. However, when a man is criticized for putting his job before his loved ones, it’s difficult for them to understand. They may struggle to learn from their mistakes because they cannot properly prioritize.
5. They minimize consequences
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When someone is hurt by the same person over and over again, they may try to enforce consequences. However, a man who never seems to learn from his mistakes has found a way to dismiss what he is held accountable for. He may minimize consequences, sometimes avoiding them completely. It’s a form of emotional invalidation, which can have a negative impact on the people in their lives.
Emotional invalidation by ignoring consequences can impact the self-esteem of the person trying to hold him accountable. If he ignores their boundaries, he shows he doesn’t care about them. They continue to make the same mistakes by refusing to learn.
6. They constantly seek external validation
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Validation-seekers can struggle to learn from their mistakes. Instead of taking feedback to heart, they may use it to get attention. It’s not uncommon for them to flip the script. Suddenly, the person they hurt is finding themselves apologizing. Once they realize this emotional manipulation, they may hold the man accountable. If he fails to learn from his mistakes in the search for constant validation, his relationships can be permanently damaged.
This can be a sign of low self-esteem. Instead of managing their own issues, they may try to avoid them completely. It can be difficult for them to learn from their mistakes when they rely on validation and support from others.
7. They are prone to lying
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We all know someone prone to lying. It’s not an easy situation to navigate. Being unable to trust someone but still wanting to be in their life feels overwhelming. When a man constantly lies, people will eventually catch on. It’s how he chooses to learn from his mistake that matters. When he doesn’t, his lying habit can cost him relationships.
“Lying can have several negative effects, including lasting damage to your relationships. Even if you feel like the occasional fib can’t hurt, there are many compelling reasons to curb the lying habit,” says Kendra Cherry. MSEd. “When people feel that they cannot rely on you to be truthful, it impairs your trust with friends, family, romantic partners, and others in your life. And once people feel they can't trust you, it can be difficult to regain that trust.”
8. They don't see how their behavior impacts others
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Sometimes, it can be hard for people to see how their behavior affects others. They may be in the habit of only seeing how their behavior improves their lives. Taking accountability is important. For men who never learn that their decisions and actions have consequences, they may continue to make the same mistakes. It’s difficult for them to see outside of themselves.
They can learn to be better by listening and being open to changing their behavior. When they change this habit, they can build stronger relationships. They have to learn to admit when they are wrong.
9. They react more harshly than is called for
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I’m sure we have all had this happen. When something hurts our feelings, we want to talk to that person about it. Sometimes, all you need is for someone to admit their mistake and move forward. When someone is in the habit of reacting harshly, it feels like they never learn from their mistakes. A man who rushes to respond with anger can push away the people who care about him. He may continue that behavior and never learn from his poor choices.
To learn from this mistake, he’ll have to process criticism positively. Instead of yelling and acting harshly, he’ll need to slow down, actively listen, and respond with care. Until he breaks that habit, he will keep making the same mistakes.
10. They get easily overwhelmed easily
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If a man is dealing with overwhelming feelings, his behavior may show it. Even the tiniest things can cause them to react poorly at the expense of others. When he gets caught up in this habit, it’s hard for him to process clearly. As a result, he may continue to make the same mistakes. Watching someone act that way time and time again can be difficult, especially when all you want to do is help.
Some men cannot escape overwhelming feelings. It’s a cycle they are stuck in. Instead of considering how their behavior affects others, they may not try to address the issue. They continue to make the same mistake.
11. They don't think they have to change
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Believe it or not, some men know what to do to remedy their mistakes. They know they have to change, but they fail to take action. Their behavior is a habit they choose not to fix. Instead, they make the same mistakes until it is too late.
“Men are not so much confused as they are conflicted. They know what is required of them, but are held back by unexamined beliefs—about responsibility, misplaced loyalties, masculinity, failure, and the cost of choosing themselves,” says Thomas W Jefferys, Ph.D. “Anger often masks sadness. Guilt disguises fear. Shame convinces them that movement itself is dangerous. And anything that even hints at shame is usually on their do-not-examine list. So they distract, minimize, work harder, stay busy, mislead themselves, or just go silent. What appears as endurance is often just disconnection over time.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
