If A Man Texts You These 11 Messages, He’s Lost Interest
Comeback Images / Shutterstock Texting truly is everything in this day and age. Not only is it how we all communicate with each other, but even just the way someone frames a message can tell how they feel about you. A simple message can often reveal far more than actions do, and even how much effort someone is willing to put into a connection. A single message might not mean much on its own, but when you start to notice the patterns, it can be quite easy to put the puzzle pieces together. When a man is losing interest, for example, his texts are usually the first sign of that, especially if you know what to look for.
When he starts sending really short or even just weirdly vague messages when he used to send long paragraphs where you could sense just how eager he was to get to know you, it might mean that he's starting to become a bit checked out. While everyone has days where they're just too busy to send that detailed message, you can almost always tell the difference between someone who has a lot going on versus someone who doesn't want to put in the effort to respond thoughtfully. Once you're able to spot these signs, you can move accordingly so you're not getting hurt or wasting your time with someone who isn't all in.
If a man texts you these 11 messages, he's lost interest
1. 'Hey...' (or just a single word)
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While there's a chance he might just be trying to start a conversation or even just check in, if that's his go-to opener all the time, it might be worth paying attention. Those short, one-word messages can often be a sign that he's not willing to put in the effort to get to know you. There's zero lack of intention when he's sending a single word like "hey." There's no follow-up, question, or even energy within that one word.
"Think about the people you actually enjoy being around. Not the ones who dominate conversations or subtly compete with your stories. Not the ones who always have a punchline ready. It’s the ones who listen, who ask real questions, and care about the answers," pointed out behavioral expert Sam Goldstein.
It's as if he's waiting for you to put in all of the work. If he's genuinely interested, his messages will almost always reflect that. He'll be the one who's asking questions and sharing his thoughts. Or he'll say something that he knows will make you smile. He's actually choosing to engage, not just send a lazy message.
2. 'K' or 'Ok' in response to anything
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At first, it might not feel like that big of a deal when you're getting a response of "K" or "Ok," from him, especially if there's no reason for the conversation to continue. But if he's sending messages like that when you're asking a question or looking for a more engaged reply, it can be quite frustrating. The lack of energy is often the biggest indicator that his interest is waning.
"One of the most underrated skills that can transform your dating life is curiosity. Not only does curiosity provide you with important information and make you a better conversationalist, but it also signals interest, openness, and emotional intelligence—qualities that create deeper relationships," explained psychologist Jennice Vilhauer.
By sending one of these two variations, he's acknowledging that while he saw your message, he doesn't feel the need to invite further conversation or even show an ounce of curiosity. Being curious about someone you're getting to know is an important step in being able to build a connection. But instead, he's choosing to act in a rather dismissive manner and emotionally distance himself.
3. 'I'm busy'
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It seems anytime you're trying to make plans or even have a consistent conversation through messages, he can't put in any energy. Instead, he'll give a half-hearted response that he's busy or that he has a lot going on at the moment. While there are moments when you have things going on throughout the day that might prevent you from being as present as you may want to be when texting someone, it doesn't mean that it's a regular occurrence day in and day out.
"It's just not sustainable for you to be supporting the bulk of a relationship by yourself over the long term. When such a thing happens, it doesn't necessarily mean that the other person is a bad person. It simply means that he or she does not view you as a priority," explained digital health expert Bruce Y. Lee.
When someone is genuinely interested in building something with you, they'll make an effort to explain where they're at, and they'll even go above and beyond to suggest another time to get together if they can't make something work. They're working with you rather than making it seem as if they have no desire to do that at all.
4. 'If you want'
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There's a difference between a man just being polite or giving you the space to decide, versus a man who is just not looking to put in any effort in responding. Just leaving it all up to you is showing the lack of enthusiasm that he has in getting to know you and even just spending time with you, too. When it becomes a pattern of just leaving it up to you to figure out, it means he's supremely checked out.
"Show investment and thoughtfulness by initiating conversations, affection, or shared activities. This proactive approach demonstrates commitment and can positively impact your relationship," suggested clinical mental health counselor Dan Bates.
Showing interest in someone means actively participating when it comes to making plans, and also being the one who initiates things as well. Someone who's excited to engage with you will respond with suggestions and opinions. They aren't just going to leave everything in your hands or act as if they couldn't care less about what is being done.
5. 'Not sure what to say'
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If he can't find anything to respond with, even when you've given him plenty of opportunities to engage with you over text, it might mean that he's just looking for a polite way out. When someone is genuinely interested in you, they'll usually find something to respond with to keep the conversation going.
They are eagerly waiting to have a conversation with you, even if it's about something complexly mundane and unimportant. But when they're just leaving all of the labor up to you, it might mean that they have no energy to even just pretend to be engaged. When a man is just consistently unsure of what to say, it means the conversations often fizzle out when that shouldn't be happening when you're getting to know someone.
6. 'Meh'
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When it keeps showing up, it's often a clear sign that he's not trying to invite connection or even just basic conversation at all. There's really nothing to respond to when someone texts you "meh." In fact, it doesn't even show a level of enthusiasm that they want to talk to you in the first place. Instead of actually adding to the conversation, a man who is losing interest is no longer excited about being involved in building any sort of rapport with you.
It leaves you to carry the interaction on your back and figure out how to make things interesting. The thing about this dynamic is that it's just purely exhausting. It doesn't feel like you're communicating with someone who genuinely wants to talk to you in the first place.
7. 'I'm doing my own thing'
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While it's always nice to talk to someone and build a relationship with someone who has their own priorities and hobbies, when they use that as an excuse not to engage with you, it can quickly turn into a huge red flag. You never want to talk to someone who's refusing to make room in their life for you, even when they have their own things going on.
At that point, it's not even about being an independent person, but it's about the lack of priority that they have when it comes to actually connecting with you. That lack of effort has a way of speaking volumes, especially when you're in the beginning stages of getting to know someone. During that period, they should be going above and beyond to impress you, especially if they truly like you and enjoy your company.
8. 'Maybe later'
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Not only does receiving this message make it seem as if he's not prioritizing you, but it's also extremely vague and noncommittal. There's no follow-up message with a compromise on plans. Instead, it seems as if he's trying his hardest to just fade away rather than being upfront about the fact that he's no longer interested.
You're now left guessing about whether or not he wants to hang out with you, or if he's simply just stringing you along until he finds something better. Either way, it's not fun to be in that position. It can be frustrating and draining, especially if you actually like him and were looking forward to building some sort of connection. It's hard, at the end of the day, to invest in someone who's not even trying to meet you halfway at all.
9. 'I'll text you when I feel like it'
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Rarely is a man playing around or trying to make a joke when he blatantly says that he's only planning on communicating with you on his time. When you're getting to know someone, you want them to make an effort to stay in touch, even if it's just a quick message that they're sending you about the fact that you're on their mind, or just a quick check-in about your day.
"Only those who carve out sufficient time and energy to mutually support each other’s development will have success," pointed out psychotherapists Linda and Charlie Bloom.
They want to stay in touch. But when someone is doing the complete opposite, it's showing that they're not appreciating you in the way that you deserve, and now you're just unsure about where you stand in their life. Now you're the one doing all of the work and planning the conversations when it should be a mutual effort.
10. 'I guess'
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These two words carry zero meaning and instead show that there's a serious lack of hesitation and a general lack of energy towards the conversation or plans that are being made. Rather than showing genuine excitement over wanting to be around you, he's putting minimal effort into the interaction, which can leave you having to carry all of the emotional work.
He's no longer fully interested, but instead of being upfront and honest, he's hiding behind these noncommittal phrases that leave you scratching your head about whether he even wants to continue getting to know you and building this connection. Everything, from trying to make plans to just generally wanting to talk to him, now suddenly feels halfhearted. He's simply not putting in the same amount of effort that you are, and that reality is disappointing.
11. 'I forgot to text'
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When it becomes this repeated excuse for not keeping in touch, unfortunately, that could mean a man has completely lost interest. Forgetting once in a while to respond to a text does happen, considering we're all busy with our own lives. But when it becomes clear that there's zero effort to respond in a timely manner or even to be the first to initiate a conversation, it can end up being more annoying than anything else.
"Over time, the excitement and novelty of a new relationship can fade, and day-to-day routines may lead to complacency. This can manifest in various ways, such as neglecting to express gratitude, failing to acknowledge your partner’s efforts, or not making time for meaningful connection," said psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein.
Everyone enjoys receiving a check-in text throughout the day, especially when you're getting to know someone, and it's in the early stages of talking or dating. But when a man is routinely forgetting and not doing anything on his part to make sure the connection is being nurtured and kept alive, it can honestly end up feeling like a complete waste of time.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
