If A Man Has These 11 Boring Traits, He'll Likely Be A Very Good Husband
PeopleImages | Shutterstock While exciting, happy, and long-lasting marriages are often externally characterized by all the "big things," like weddings, anniversaries, and big proclamations of love, the truth is, healthy couples are more focused on daily life and the little things to protect the well-being of their relationships. From making their coffee before work to picking up their favorite meal on the way home, it's these small gestures and conversations that make the most difference.
It's the little, boring, and mundane parts of life that help to cultivate longevity, not necessarily tons of intimacy or endless romance. So, if a man has certain boring traits, he'll likely be a very good husband.
If a man has these 11 boring traits, he'll likely be a very good husband
1. He goes to bed at the same time every night
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According to a study from the Journal of Sleep Research, couples who go to bed at the same time every night are often happier than their mismatched counterparts. They not only boost quality time for more affection and healthy conversations, but they also prioritize space to check in with each other every single night, whether it's emotionally or otherwise.
Even if some couples are sleeping in different beds, having this same schedule often improves their relationship and personal well-being through sleep. So, if a man has these boring traits, he'll likely be a very good husband.
2. He's steady and consistent
Sometimes, consistency is more important than excitement, and steadiness is more important than lust or constant progress. You want your marriage to feel like a safe place to land, not necessarily an anxiety-inducing, exciting place.
Even if lust, excitement, and a "spark" are important to a certain extent, they're not the make-or-break in a relationship. You have to have a steady, secure foundation of trust, love, and communication to fuel longevity, and then you can worry about everything else.
3. He follows through
A man who follows through and aligns his words with his actions is a good husband, no matter how "boring" or mundane the manifestations of these traits are. He's not only emotionally regulated enough to show up, even when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient, but he also follows through on things when it's not easy.
Even when things are hard and uncertain, it's these husbands who make an effort to be there for their wives — emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
4. He's confident and secure
Instead of seeking out validation from others at the expense of trust and leaning on flirting behaviors to feel a sense of "importance" when they're feeling disconnected, men who are truly confident and secure in themselves make the best husbands.
That's part of the reason why self-confidence is innately tied to relationship well-being and satisfaction, according to a study from Developmental Psychology.
5. He cares to be known
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According to a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, being known is tied to personal self-worth, but also relationship longevity and well-being. People want to feel heard and understood in any conversation, but especially by the person they share the closest bond and relationship with in the world.
They care about being understood and having a safe place to be their authentic selves.
6. He values peace over being right
According to psychotherapist Nancy Colier, people who get stuck in the binary of "right and wrong" are often the most unhappy — constantly trying to defend their viewpoint and often sabotaging relationship health by making other people feel wrong for simply having different perspectives and opinions.
When you're not in a battle for rightness, things become more vague in a productive way. You can be more empathetic to other people's situations, see their perspective, and learn something new, instead of trying to win. So, if a man has these traits and largely values peace over being right, he'll likely be a very good husband.
7. He's not swayed by flashy things
Whether it's a brand new car that urges financial irresponsibility or an opportunity to flirt with someone physically attractive, if a husband isn't swayed by shiny, flashy things, he's a good man. He cares more about cultivating long-term well-being, trust, and romance than leaning into things that feel immediately comfortable or convenient.
Even if the average person slips up every once in a while and lets their true colors show, if a man has boring traits like this kind of self-control and intentionality, he'll likely be a very good husband.
8. He's a routine fanatic
Daily routines create lasting love for couples, but for the well-being of partners, routines are important in multifaceted ways. From protecting personal mental health to navigating stress and checking in emotionally with a partner, they're some of the boring priorities that only great men and husbands have amid everyday life.
So, if you have a partner at home who is always following a routine and maintaining stability because of their own self-control, you've got a good one.
9. He feels safe
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Safety and security are more important than constant excitement and flashiness in a long-term marriage. Those things aren't sustainable, but feeling like you have a safe place to land at home or with a partner is a different story.
Partners who consistently show up for one another and feed into a secure foundation are more likely to last, while others will consistently falter.
10. He's honest
Honesty is the key to trust in a relationship — the foundation of a connection. However, trust is often cultivated through small actions and little bits of honesty.
It takes an honest man to consistently show up for his partner to cultivate honesty, which means these mundane actions are usually signs of a great husband. Even when the truth hurts and is uncomfortable, couples need to prioritize it, according to a study from the University of Rochester.
11. He handles stress quietly
Instead of constantly leaning on his partner to solve his problems for him or expecting her to distract him from his own ignorance and emotional turmoil, good men and husbands learn the power of emotional regulation and intelligence. It takes maturity to hold themselves accountable for their own actions, self-soothing behaviors, and regulation, but that intentionality is a trait that good husbands have.
It may be less "exciting," but men who handle their stress quietly and without much attention-seeking drama are good people and husbands.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
