Husbands Who Actually Value Their Relationships Never Joke About These 11 Things
Andrii Iemelianenko / Shutterstock Being married isn't for the weak. As much as people rave about how beautiful marriage can be, one small mishap can quickly turn a marriage from beautiful to tense. This is why husbands who actually value their relationships never joke about things that might hurt their wife or their marriage.
Sure, a man might know how to have fun. From cracking jokes to being social, good husbands don't have to be overly serious. That being said, there are certain jokes a man will avoid at all costs if he cares about the woman he married.
Husbands who actually value their relationships never joke about these 11 things
1. Their partner's appearance
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock
Husbands who actually value their relationships never joke about their partner's appearance. Understandably, nobody likes being criticized for their looks. In a world that's becoming hyper-fixated on looks, there's nothing more unnerving than comparing oneself to the current beauty standard. From flowing, beautiful hair to shiny skin and perfect lips, not everyone fits this standard.
Some people understand this, while others do their best to fit into this standard. However, regardless of where someone falls on the spectrum, criticizing someone's looks is never okay. No matter what his intentions are, the results are the same: utter damage to their spouse's self-esteem. According to a study published in 2019, this isn't great, as low self-esteem is linked to poor quality relationships, support, and increased anxiety and depression.
2. Divorce or leaving the marriage
brizmaker | Shutterstock
Listen, it's normal for one's partner to drive them insane. It doesn't matter how much they adore and wish their partner the best. At one point or another, every couple goes through rough patches in their marriage. That being said, husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about divorce or leaving the marriage.
It doesn't matter what he says to his partner. Mark Travers, Ph.D., notes that "the way someone jokes can shape how trustworthy, likable, or emotionally safe they appear to others." So, if he's joking about leaving, take a second to pause and discuss. He might say it's nothing, but letting him know how much it hurts is crucial to preventing future misunderstandings.
3. Upgrading partners
Paula VV | Shutterstock
Comparing their spouses to other people has become all too common for some men. Sure, it might seem like a joke that shouldn't be taken too seriously. However, husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about upgrading their partners.
Whether it's a joke or not, it doesn't matter. In case anyone needed a reminder, their partner has feelings too, and words can cut deep. This is why it's important for husbands to ensure they validate and prioritize only their partners. As therapist Dara Winley, Ph.D., said, "Validation is essential in reducing high-conflict dynamics." So, if men want to keep the peace, don't create conflict that can make their partner feel insecure.
4. Their spouse's intelligence
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
There's a pride to be had in a spouse who is pretty smart. While they might not show it off, watching how their brain works is pretty entertaining. However, even the smartest people mess up from time to time. From forgetting to pay for something to leaving the water running, we all make silly mistakes. Still, husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about their spouse's intelligence.
Sure, it's all in good fun, but being called dumb or stupid isn't really funny. While a little teasing is fine, men need to know how to draw a fine line. Otherwise, they might find themselves in deep trouble.
5. Private struggles or vulnerabilities
Mladen Mitrinovic | Shutterstock
Going through struggles is never easy. No matter how insignificant they may seem, these small issues always pile up into bigger problems, making us feel more uneasy as time goes on. This is why a husband who actually values their relationship never jokes about private struggles or vulnerabilities. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what their intention was. Whether they meant to cheer up their partner or not.
When they're already down, they don't need their husband to make it ten times worse. This is why it's crucial to show support instead. As health expert Arash Emamzadeh pointed out, "Partner responsiveness and supportiveness are important because they correlate with higher relationship satisfaction, better relationship functioning, and well-being." So, even if it's hard, finding a way to be supportive is crucial for a long-lasting marriage.
6. Their spouse's family background
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
It shouldn't take a scholar to say that family is implicated. As much as we may love our family, family has a way of getting the best of us. From in-laws who don't understand boundaries to crazy uncles, talking about family can be a sour subject for many people. This is why husbands who actually value their relationships never joke about their spouse's family background, no matter what.
Sure, their partner might make a joke here or there. But just because they're joking doesn't mean a husband should join in. Without realizing it, it's easy to step on toes and say the wrong thing. So, to avoid arguments, it's better to laugh and move on.
7. Intimacy
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
Watching an average Hollywood movie, people might think that intimacy is as easy as pie. From seeking frequent hookups to casual displays of affection, most people might not think much about physical intimacy. That being said, if husbands actually value their relationship, they'd never joke about intimacy. Whether it's with their partner or with their friends, intimacy is a pretty sensitive subject.
While some might not think much of it, physical intimacy takes a lot of trust and vulnerability. This is why it's crucial to make it a safe space. So, it's better not to poke at this subject, as it can quickly open a can of worms.
8. Past mistakes
Gaudi Lab | Shutterstock
It doesn't matter how perfect a marriage might feel. As most married couples know, everyone is bound to mess up. Whether it's forgetting to take out the trash or forgetting to buy flowers, both men and women have a way of hurting the ones they love. Even so, couples learn those hard lessons and, ideally, become stronger because of them. Still, this doesn't change the fact that husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about past mistakes.
Sure, these husbands might not mean much by it, but the results are still the same. Bringing up past mistakes often means not allowing one another to move forward. This is why it's crucial to let bygones be bygones and focus on the future; otherwise, the past might be what undoes their marriage.
9. Their spouse's dreams or ambitions
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
In a healthy marriage, both spouse's do their best to support one another's dreams. Whether it's staying up late with them or cheering them on from the sidelines, being an encouraging partner is crucial for the longevity of marriage. This is why husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about their spouse's dreams or ambitions. It doesn't matter how bizarre or out of the field their dreams seem.
If they're passionate about it and are working hard toward it, husbands should always be supportive. This is because supportive relationships often stem from a husband's ability to be reliable, as licensed psychologist Paula Durlofsky, Ph.D., said. So, if a husband isn't able to do the basics, don't expect the marriage to last long.
10. Their partner being 'too emotional'
Wasana Kunpol | Shutterstock
To be fair, most people don't want to deal with a person who can't control their emotions. It doesn't matter what the excuse is. Once someone starts going off the rails, it's always difficult to know where to go from there. Still, this doesn't change the fact that husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about their partner being too emotional.
Sure, he might be right in saying that his partner needs to take a breather. However, how he says it matters. Simply laughing, brushing off people's concern, or belittling them never helped anyone. So, to avoid these pitfalls, men should always say, "Hey, love, I think we should take a small break so we can both gather our thoughts." While they might not be happy, focusing on a solution is much better than criticizing them for their reaction.
11. Jokes about who makes more
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock
Finally, husbands who actually value their relationship never joke about who makes more. It doesn't matter if they were just being funny. Concerns involving money or superiority have a way of not landing well. From saying he's the breadwinner to belittling their partner's achievements, it's never a good idea to go this route. Especially in a world that's becoming increasingly more difficult to live in, no money jokes should be made.
According to the Mind over Money survey by Capital One and The Decision Lab, 77% of Americans feel anxious about their financial situation. So, save the jokes and find something more positive to talk about. Focusing on what's going well in life might be just what their partner needs to feel good again.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
