How To End Paralyzing Doubts That He's 'The One'
Sleep easy knowing for sure.
getty At first, you thought your boyfriend could be your soulmate. Now, you've started to wonder, "Is he the one?"
There's no question you care about your boyfriend. You love him. But how do you know when you're in love with your forever guy?
It's easy to fall in love with love. The adrenaline rush is addictive. But once the honeymoon stage of a relationship has ended, many women develop worries about whether or not their boyfriend is for keeps.
Some say, "You’ll just know when he’s 'the one'." But the truth is, there is a lot of chatter in your mind about others' expectations, old patterns of behavior, or limiting beliefs about your worth, so you can't always hear your intuition.
And love isn't neat and tidy, which can confuse you further. Maybe you have different personality types or some hurdle — like distance, health, finances, or family — to overcome.
So how do you know when you're in love with your soulmate?
How to end paralyzing doubts that he's the one:
1. Figure out what you need and want in a soulmate
First, you need to figure out what you want in a mate and a relationship. Without thinking about your current partner, consider the ideal qualities, values, and behaviors, as well as your relationship deal-breakers.
2. Ask yourself, 'Is he the one?' and open your heart to the answers
Once you've reassessed what you want in a soulmate, you can objectively and intuitively assess how right you are for each other.
Take some time to yourself to sit quietly to help you hear your heart's wisdom. Meditate for five minutes or find a comfortable place and do some deep breathing to get centered. Repeat a few affirmations, such as "I am worthy," and "I will get my answers."
Ask yourself if your guy is really the one for you. Close your eyes, and let your thoughts come and go without judgment. Keep a notebook handy to jot down whatever comes to you.
3. Look for signs
If he's the one, he'll prove it to you every day through his words, actions, and how he makes you feel.
If you still need more proof, look for these 10 signs you're in love with your soulmate:
1. He shows you love in the way you need it
Whether it's "I love you," an act of kindness, a favor, a hug, or the touch of his hand, he knows just what will make you feel instantly loved.
2. He has earned your trust
You know you can count on him through thick and thin. No question.
3. He supports your personal growth
He's your biggest cheerleader, helps you to face your demons, and never lets you give up on yourself.
4. He makes you feel alive
There has never been someone like him who can stir your body, mind, and soul. You feel simply free.
5. He gets you
He intuitively understands you like no one else — even when you don't seem to understand yourself.
6. He has similar plans for the future
Ultimately, you want the same things in life (even your vision boards have the same feel).
7. He brings out your best self
Every day he reminds you what you are capable of, and you shine from within.
8. He works with you through challenges
You might not always agree. In the end, you both get on the same side of the problem and come up with solutions together.
9. He considers you a life partner
He thinks of you when making plans — big or small. He's there if you need a ride or you've lost your job.
10. He makes your life better
You are a better woman, mother, sister, friend, employee, leader, community member, and all-around person because he is in your life.
If you dig deep and take these steps, you’ll be able to your answers about whether he's the one for you or whether he isn’t. If your guy fares well on these exercises, you'll be able to put your doubts of "Is he the one?" to rest and enjoy the connection you have.
Either way, you’ll know.
What's important is that you accept what your inner guidance is telling you and decide to move forward — by either loving your boyfriend with your whole heart if you decide he is the one, or making room for a true soulmate to come into your life.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.