9 Honest Women Reveal How Important Kissing Is To A Successful Relationship

Kissing is the best thing about being in a relationship — or is it?

Happy couple kissing halfpoint | Canva

A friend of mine is currently dating a man who doesn't like to kiss. Her immediate response to this was, "OMG, it's my breath! It's my technique! It's my fault!" But after some probing and many demands for an explanation, he revealed, "It's just not my thing."

He also admitted that it had been a dealbreaker for many, many women in his past, and although he's trying to work on it, it's still just not his "thing." Needless to say, this relationship has a shelf life of about one more week or so to it.


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We asked the ladies their feelings about kissing. Is it really that important? How does one feel about a bad kisser? Is being with someone who doesn't want to kiss ever an option?


There was a big resounding "NO!" to that latter question, because who doesn't love to get their lips all sloppy with someone else's spit?

Here's not just what women think about kissing, but why kissing is so essential to a relationship.

To the point: Kissing is REALLY important.

Here, nine honest women reveal how important kissing is to a successful relationship:

1. It can make a whole relationship

"It's very important. A good kiss can make a bad day better. A good kiss can reignite a relationship in the doldrums," says Holly, 28.

2. It's a great form of intimacy

"Kissing is REALLY important to me, I feel like it's a great way to show intimacy with your partner. My husband is a big fan of the quick kiss and I guess those are all right but I live for the times when we both stop whatever we are doing and actually have a slow kiss where that's literally the only thing in the world that matters right then.


3. Have different kissing styles

Not even a passionate throw-me-against-a-wall kiss, just a slow, long kiss that means something. And you need to have a good array of styles at your disposal. If you're only into one kind of kissing, you can leave. I need kisses to suit the situation," says Colleen, 30.

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4. No sloppy fish kisses

"It's a must. The reasons are that it's the form of love/affection you'll give each other the most, so kissing a sloppy fish multiple times a day just won't do. Also, fortunately, it's also the easiest thing to change, have fun with, and get someone to kiss like you like, if necessary," says Sabrina, 28.

5. It's not necessary for intimacy

"Kissing is VERY important unless you just want to be intimate. Intimacy doesn't require kissing, but love and romance do. What can melt you faster than a wonderful kiss?" asks Joy, 39.


And kissing compatibility is doubly so.

6. Have compatible kissing styles

"I feel like having compatible kissing styles is REALLY important. If someone lunges in with the tongue no matter what, and you were more looking for a soft 'good morning' kiss, it's probably not going to work out in the chemistry department. It's really one of the first tests to see how the two of you will work in bed... or if you'll work at all.

I've had lovers with a pretty wide array of kissing styles, and the ones where kissing them wasn't my favorite thing tended not to last long," says Becky, 29.

"Kissing compatibility is a must. Even if the intimacy isn't great, that's something I can handle, but not being able to kiss well, is not," says Nicole, 31.


Yep, a bad kiss really is a dealbreaker. Sorry.

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7. It's not gonna work if you can't get it right

"Kissing is your first physical contact audition. If you can't get it right then no callbacks. Sometimes you can work on a guy with some bad kissing but it often involves a short period of a bruised ego. However, if he takes the cue, it's well worth it. In short: kissing is monumentally important," says Sarah, 34. 

8. Being pretty doesn't guarantee a good kisser

"I went on a date years ago with this guy I liked so much. The date was magical and I was really interested in seeing where things could go. But then he kissed me ... and oh, it was so bad. It was nightmarishly bad. There were buckets of saliva and bruising involved. I even went on another date with him just to see if he was nervous or something, but no. Tragic really; he was gorgeous," says Steph, 25.


In the end, kisses are what really make a relationship.

9. It makes a relationship better

"Bad kiss equals flimsy handshake (blech)! On the latter, my partner and I have been together for nine years, and I still wake up every morning looking forward to kissing her at some point during the day, if not on my way out for work in the morning," says Sadie, 30.

"I'll never get sick of making out with my husband. Ever. Yeah, we've only been married a year, but I just know that I won't," Chelsea, 29.


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Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.