The Harsh Truth About Dating Men From The Bar

Stop with these stereotypes about meeting men at bars.

Last updated on Dec 03, 2023

Man and woman at a bar Philippe Degroote | Canva / South_agency | Getty Images Signature

Stereotypes exist in all kinds of situations: ask any woman where the worst place to find a good man is, and they'll inevitably either reply with either a bar or a nightclub. The consensus seems to be that guys in bars or nightclubs are only interested in finding a woman to be intimate with, and nothing more. 

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Most women probably have a dating horror story that involves meeting a guy in a bar. These stories commonly involve cheesy pick-up lines, overtures, and a lack of response to phone calls or texts following the night you meet. 




Whether you've had a bad experience or you've just heard about them, that should not affect the way you view men who talk to you in bars

While this might be true in some cases, it's not a rule, and if you can allow yourself to believe this stereotype, you may miss out on meeting the man of your dreams.


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Good guys are just as likely to be hanging out in bars and clubs as they are to be at business conferences or coffee shops. Even professionals like to unwind and have a drink after a long work week. The truth is, the perfect guy for you could pop up just about anywhere.

Whether you are at a bar, nightclub, concert, or laundry mat, if a guy goes out of his way to talk to you, it is because he is interested in you.

As you're talking to a guy, regardless of where you met him, make sure you give him a fair chance before dismissing him for motivations he may or may not have. You also want to consider how you feel under similar stereotypes. Some think women who go out to clubs are only looking to hook up.


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These types of stereotypes work against all people; men and women, who are looking for someone new and like to go out to dance, drink, and socialize.

There is no surefire way to determine someone's motivations, short of them telling you. But if you give him a thoroughly fair chance, allow him to talk to you, and try to connect on an emotional level, you'll be able to weed out the less virtuous guys from the ones who truly want to pursue a relationship.

Making assumptions about where to find a good man is just one of the mistakes women make in dating.


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Devon Brown is a dating and relationship coach who has been featured in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, World Internet Summit, Mastermind, and more.