I Don't Need A Perfect Man, I Just Need A Good Man

Guys, us girls don't need you to have a six-pack. We just need you to be kind.

couple snuggling LightField Studios / Shutterstock

I remember it like it was yesterday: I was on a date with a guy who I had a crush on for years. He was one of the very few who actually gave me butterflies in my stomach when I looked at him.

I was nervous as all hell and was dolled up to the best of my abilities just to make sure I looked the best I could for him. He was chubby, wore thick glasses, and was bald. And, my God, was I into him.

Dinner was one of those moments where you could literally taste his anxiety in the air. He was sweating profusely, wouldn't stop staring at his plate, and wore a baseball cap in order to prevent me from noticing the fact that all his hair fell out.


I liked him a lot, and it was one of those crushes where all I wanted to do was just hold him, kiss him, and show him that I like him.

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It was clear he was intimidated, and even his friends told me that was the case. I couldn't really blame him. After all, the last ex he saw me with was muscular, thin, and had one of the thickest heads of hair I've ever seen.

Still, it's hard for me to understand why he'd freeze up the way he did, knowing that I've felt this way about him for a long time.

I really just wanted to grab him by the hand and tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't care less about his hair, and that I liked him for the fact that he was this adorably awkward, nerdy, shy guy.


I liked him because he was cuddly, because we had a lot in common, because he was him — flaws and all.

You see, I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect. I'm looking for a good man.

Someone whom I wouldn't recoil in fear of, someone who makes me smile, someone who actually texts on the regular "just because."

If I wanted an Adonis, I would have been hitting up the jerks online who do nothing but show girls how "swole" they can get. If I wanted a sugar daddy, I would have gotten one.

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The fact is, I don't want a sugar daddy. I don't want some pretty male model.

And while a combination of the two sounds quite attractive, I'd dump that guy in a second for a man who I feel is genuinely interested in me, makes an effort to make me smile, and also shows real remorse if he hurts me.


The guy I like right now isn't the most traditionally attractive guy in the world, but I'd pick him over a chiseled guy any day of the week. Why? Because he's liked me regardless of what size I was, and because we have so much in common.

Guys, us girls don't need you to have a six-pack. We don't need you to have a full head of hair.

All we really need of you is to be a decent human being who has qualities that make us into you — and that means being nice without strings attached.

Is the guy I have a crush on perfect? Far from it. But he's good to me these days, and that's what I like more than the men emblazoned on magazine pages.


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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.